Okay, I don't know if I am insensitive, cold or just ... ummm normal in believing that FI should modify child support regardless of the BMs ability to maintain the family home. Background, FI and his ex have been separated/divorced for 15 years now. Standard CS order and visitation were given when divorce finalized. Eldest just graduated COLLEGE and he refuses to modify CS because the BM "doesn't have any money and can't afford the mortgage on the house." FI pays his full legal obligation (which is quite generous) plus all medical, all extra curricular activities, all whims, provides two annual vacations, provides at least 50% of the care of the younger one (15) ... BM provides no financial support at all and cries victim because she can't make due with what is given to her. FI refuses to modify child support because "the kids" will lose their family home and he will lose the investment he has in the place. All the while BM picks and chooses when to be "Mommy" and she tells usually the youngest she "was her biggest mistake and wishes she aborted her" at least a few times a month. Played the alienation game to the T and makes sure to create havoc at her pleasing. Like most of you, I can write a book. But I have not seen a BD who chooses to continue financial support what is sane. I was a single mom to my two BDs and have never asked or needed his support, this isn't about the money - per se, it is about letting go of the guilt and false sense of responsibility. Lately he has been feeding me the line that he is trying to protect the kids from being responsible for BM, he is trying to "protect them." No BM has never really worked outside of the home after second child was born and doesn't want to. According to her, he is responsible and must pay (literally and figuratively). When will he disengage - do they ever?