i am sitting here listening to love songs and working on photo videos for my cousin and bestfriend--both are getting married next summer. the first few songs i was really pumped, totally psyched for both of them. now im so depressed and sad and im on the verge of tears, knowing that i was suppossed to be having MY wedding around the same time as them (it was actually really cute and funny how all 3 of us decided on 3 consecutive months) we were all going to plan our weddings together and help plan each other's. and now, because of sd, bf, and life in general, it isnt happening for me (great the tears are here) and i feel so cheated! i am soo happy for them but feel so bad for myself. if my bd3 wasnt going to be home from school soon, i'd crack a bottle and drown in my misery....but motherhood calls soon.

sorry, had to vent.