You feel like a third wheel because you are. He does not see you as a priority and never will. He also is very selfish and his kids are brats. He cannot even listen to you with some understanding when you are telling him things you both should be discussing, including your feelings, without him deflecting or responding with sarcasm. He also seems like a user. In no way should you be expected to pay for everyones meals (his kids) without being offered reimbursement. Do you want to marry someone like this? Don't be used. You will be used as their endless ATM, free Nanny, babysitter, dog walker, driver, etc, as long as you allow it. A real man/woman takes care of their kids and finances and doesn't use others just to lighten their responsibilities. Bio mom and dad should be parenting theses kids and supporting them financially one hundred percent. If he needs a sitter he should hire one or ask grandma. If he can't afford a sitter it sounds like he has money problems and that is ever more reason to steer clear.  Perhaps he needs a new/another job or to handle his money better. You should not be helping him! Regardless it is not your responsibility. DO NOT BE USED!!! Next time he tries to hit you up for money for his kids stuff tell him you dont have it then make sure it's the last time you go out with him and his kids. You are not their ATM. He will get the message. People treat you how you allow it.

If your SO is not giving you what you need - and if you are letting him know your feelings and he's responding with sarcasm it is unlikely that he cares enough about those needs - then I'm not sure why you want to be with him.  Have you tried counseling? 

Dear lady, I am sorry; you/we are third wheels.  You nailed it. Now, believe it and move on.....

First, we all start out trying to overly please, spending money on these ungrateful people (this includes DH anytime he is with the nasties he raised). Suddenly, like you, we wake up and realize how used we are by each and everyone of them.  Then, we hate ourselves for being an in love idiot. After that, we begin changing for the better.

Stop paying now, you are not a family; he is enmeshed like most men (sometimes women too), and all these excuses are telling you he does not care about your view.  Accept it now that he is not likely to change and then start rethinking all your actions.  Trust me, you will learn your actions are for naught to please. No more money, period. His brats, he pays, period.

It does not get any better unless you start putting yourself first. Stay on this site and read what others have mentioned and you will realize you are more of the majority of us.....you are definitely not alone in this sickness.

Let this one go - he's not the right man for you. It is possible for a man with kids to parent effectively and make his marriage a priority, my DH has. He would not have dreamed of asking me to pay for his kid 50% of the time, it's not my responsibility. He never let his son disrespect me or treat me badly, and I never felt like a third wheel.

Find someone who will give you what you are looking for and deserve.

I highly recommend to see a therapist and work on improving your low self esteem. You have zero self respect. 

He takes financial advantage of you. I have never heard a man asking his girlfriend to pay for his kids meals in restaurants. No you aren’t a family. You aren’t married or even living together. He treats you like garbage but yiu keep coming for more. Why?

Have you considered addressing your low standards in men? 

His kids, sarcastically say “well that depends if you’re gonna be cheap and demand i pay for the bill when thats your job”, shock him with that response

then when he says we’re equals and you should pay too, say that on no planet are stepparents ever required to be financially responsible for stepkids and he should be ashamed to demand that of you

as stepparents we do feel totally shoved to the side even the ones who have bio kids with their spouse. It sucks and even in my case with 2 toddlers that get minimal time with dad during the week because of his work hours, weekends are priority family time yet at one point hubby with discussing with me had for weeks been arranging meet ups with his 3 sk without discussing with me first if we had plans, then he pressured me into going by asking me last minute claiming the girls really miss our 2 toddlers and want to spend time

then we get there awkward silence, it just feels tense, sd22, ss20 and sd 13 just play like 1 happy family which is awkward, hubby knows this and its tense but doesn’t say anything

i resented hubby the 1st day he went out as he left home at 11am and came back 7.30pm. Thats 8.5hour, 3-4 hours soent playing taxi picking them up because they’re lazy and this so called happy family time could easily be done at home. 

I was so angry at hubby and he knew it and realised at that point, i’m spending this time alone but my wife and 2 young kids are clearly being excluded by my kids with ex so instead of his elder 3 kids setting s good example, they made hubby resent him.

now its been almost 2 months he hasn’t seen or contacted his kids like his life revolves around them. If they won’t make the effort for hubby and us, why should we go out of our way

You need to be communicating to your man about this and he needs to make it right

Then you have all the authority of a mother.  You have all the privilege of a mother.  He does not do or go anyplace with his kids with out asking your option on it. You correct his kids bad behavior!!  You order food first, if you are paying for the food then you decided where you are going to eat. And what his kids order.  No ording the most expensive thing on the menu, and more food then they are going to eat.  No having tons of leftovers to take home or to BM,

He want his kids over, then he’s home not working. If he not home then the kids are to be at BM.  You and DH have date nights once or twice a month. Only you two go out for the evening.  Diner, movie,   You and DH plan a vacation alone without SK,  ok to take a vacation with SK but you need a Vacation alone once a year 

If this is not working or DH does not want to do his part.  It’s time to leave.  If you are leaving better now not later. But give DH six month to do his part..Make a list together. And keep it tomsee how it’s going 

I felt like you at the start, probably would have left but somehow SO heard me, but it was not easy. What worked was buying the book Stepmonster by Wednesday Martin and reading it while we were sitting on the couch. Then I’d say wow listen to this... Somehow he could hear if it was someone else talking. That said, life in blended land has never been easy. I wish I had a nuclear family. You have to choose if you have the emotional stamina to try change his view on all this. It’s super hard. Probability or working is rare. Life is short, how do you want to spend it? You don’t have your own bio child yet so you are in a precious moment of deciding the life you want for future you and your kids. Many of us here do say, if I had known then what I know now. The happiest StepTalkers have spouses that love and respect them, and communicate well. All the ones with stress and hardship have trouble with their  SOs. 

This "man" treats you like crap. Until he wants you to open your wallet to pay for HIS kids. He's using you for money (sex, too, I'm guessing). 

Why are you with someone who you know treats you badly?? You can obviously do much better than this. There is absolutely NOTHING tying you to this user-loser. Drop him like a hot rock and RUN. 

And sweetie, if you feel like you deserve to be treated like poop on someone's shoe - until money is needed - then you need to do some serious reflection to figure out WHY you allow it. A man who truly loves you will treat you like a queen. Take care of you. {{hugs}}

You just made a post referring  to your partner as she. Three days ago it was he. Which one is it 

Girl, get out.  I am not saying I am in the perfect relationship or I have room to talk, but I can honestly say if I didn't have two (wonderful) children involved, I would be gone. 

You need to go NOW before you wind up pregnant.  You have no strings right now, and it's clear that he isn't the right one for you, as all of the previous posters have told you, too.

You deserve more, you are worth more, and there's so much MORE to life than dealing with a jerk and his kids.  If I could go back and do life over (which is hard to say, because I love my children that I have now), I would NOT have gotten with a man with kids. 

All of the warning signs are there that this relationship is toxic and I don't want to see you fall into a trap that so many of us have fallen in.