Feeling responsible for the end of my marriage.
I have posted on here before and I have posted about BM, my SD and the fact that my H has 30 reptiles living and breeding in our basement. He started out with 5 the number went up to 12 then up to 50 then down to 30 because some of them died. I’ve had countless issues with BM and SD but my main problem was his reptiles. The risk factor of the kids getting sick from them, the amount of time it took to care for them and the money he spent on them. Last week I told my husband I’d do anything to make our marriage work but I can’t live with 30 reptiles living and breeding in our basement. I asked him to please cut down and he said he refused to compromise took his animals and left. The next day we had a huge fight I yelled called him every name in the book and told him he was leaving his family. He all of a sudden changed the subject and made it about SD. Saying I was never a good enough stepmother. I’ve had my issues and at times I have felt like I didn’t like her but I never did anything bad to her. I tried for years the only reason I stopped trying was because I have two kids of my own and one with autism. BM and stepdaughter complained about everything I did so I stopped. I still continued to do her laundry and make her meals and she would say nothing to me. He just would complain I wasn’t doing enough and didn’t love her. In the end I was ready to put my best foot forward and try harder but I needed him to compromise with the animals he would not. I’m trying to cope with this. The fact that it’s over and he gets to go out there and find someone else while I’m alone caring for our kids. He went into so much debt trying to start a breeding business by himself I begged him to wait. He’s over 20,000 in debt he’s left the house and this need attention. My son has needed new glasses for a month now and he keeps spending money in his animals. I need a plumber because the tub is backed up and there’s no money. I’m getting my car inspected right now and I have to put that on a credit card. I am a stay at home mom I don’t have a job. I can look for one but don’t have care for the kids. This whole thing is horrible and at this point yes I know I could have tried harder with SD and yea I could have kept my mouth shut more when it came to his ex’s demands but I honestly never did anything abusive to this child this past year when she’s come over I just let her hang out with her father. I just wonder if I had been different. But my god BM complains about everything and my SD would walk into the house and just pretend I didn’t exist. She used to say nasty things to me make fun of me behind my back and everyone just thought it was ok. And even in the end through all this BM shocked me by telling people I was a good mother. How horrible could I have been to her child if even BM that caused the most drama said that?