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Feeling bad for DH, sks suck....thanks BM

Mrs. December's picture

My DH and I have been together 13 years, married 12.  I've posted on here before, but it's been a long time.  I'm feeling badly for DH because he's at the highest point of being alienated by his DS13 and DD17.  Quick backstory, BM has told them since day 1 I RUINED THEIR lives, so 13 years of brainwashing invested.  Anyhow, as most SKS act with dads, hands out for money and demands on anything they want, but could care less to have a relationship.  Of course, dear old dad bends over like they all do here, hoping they'll be happy. Here's why I feel badly, SS13 has spent about 1 night a week with us all summer, when he should be there 3-4.  He's had all kinds of I'm going here or doing this or whatever reasons and DH has been fine with it, but said when school starts it goes back to normal, 3-4 nights.  That would be this week...last night we pick him up from football drive home, DH talking, me silent and then SS says, now what are we doing? I don't want to just sit around all night.  DH asks, well what would you do at BMs house?  Play xbox is the answer and DH asks why he cant do that at our house. He says, well you have a shitty set up, I need a 50 inch tv! Do DH and he have a little stiff, me still silent....finally SS says drop me off at moms!  Well, by this time DH is so angry and frustrated he does.  We get home, which is 2 minutes from BMs house and SS texts to say...I would have stayed but all your gf (not even saying wife) does is bitch, if it wasn't for her SD and him would stay more.  Hahaha, again, remember I didn't say a word!  These are direct quotes BM has actually said to DH!!  So I feel bad because now DH and SS are in a bad way and it hurts him because it's his boy.  SD has always been BMs favorite,so DH has been closer to SS.  However BM is working SS hard because SD should be leaving for college next year and BM needs a new friend!! 

Sorry so long winded.  

 

juststressedbeyondbelief's picture

Screw em'. Make sure you don't contribute to their college/weddings. Rotten kids raised by a rotten mum. Let her pay.

MissJulsie's picture

Wow! What a spoilt, demanding child with a massive sense of entitlement. Reminds of my SS, who never comes around these days (thank god).

Still, that is LUDICROUS that YOU get blamed for a fight about tv size, when you didn't even open your mouth!!! Did your DH stick up for you, and call SS out on making up lies?

Siemprematahari's picture

This kid is a disrespectful little sh!t. I don't know how your H stood so calm in that car without addressing his ungrateful @ss. I'm sorry your H is hurting but he can't allow his kids to walk all over him either. They have been alienated which is unfortunate but I'd be damn if they think they can treat & speak to their parent like sh!t, just no way in hell I'd allow that.

I hope things improve for you all

Give rose

Mrs. December's picture

Yes, my DH did text back saying SS needs a break from his mother so "you dont always blame other people and by the way, December didn't say a word, I was there. Also, she's not my gf, shes my wife"  so I was definitely happy. 

Both SKS have been taught by BM they are entitled & if you dont win its because someone cheated & not to ever take responsibility for your own actions!  Mother of the year!!

 

MissJulsie's picture

Tell your DH for me that I said well done!!! Even if you still haven't won the war (yet) you at least won the battle!!! A small victory to celebrate on this site at last !!!

Harry's picture

You will never have a relationship with SK.  Just make sure you don’t do anything for them,  and mostly that your money does not go to them. As DH sends the kids money then he short snd you give him money.  He pays his share of the household bills,  what left over is his to do with, if he short. That his fault not your problem.

Most likely at this point there little he can no with his kids.  It’s his fault that it got this way. 

shamds's picture

my sd was 23 when she re-initiated contact with her dad after 5yrs plus disappearing with bio mum and sd14 because bio mum was afraid hubby would get sole custody of them and she would then not be able to manipulate hubby for money and would have to get a job

sd lectures hubby how he has a religious responsibility to continue paying cs to her indefinitely as she helps take care of her little sisters expenses along with bio mum. Bio mum hasn’t worked in over 25 yrs and any money she spends on sd is from hubbys cs payments to her or money she stole from clearing out his savings from his private bank accts.

sd23 made it like this one 14 yr old was hubbys sole responsibility and costs so much to manage. Mind you we had 2 toddlers requiring nappies, formula, baby wipes, new clothes from growing quickly and usual toiletries...

eventually i grew suspicious of their behaviour acting super nice as it was so fake to me when the the red flags were there how they behaved ir talked to me and were acting like mini wives. Eventually i told hubby me and our toddlers would not be present at any family event they would go to or would we participate at his meet ups with them. They did everything at family weddings to try and make my toddlers looking untidy and messy so they’d look great

guess what?  they go for months no contact unless they want favours even for their cousins on mums side. Hubby was smart to ignore it. Hubby is seen as an atm.

i told hubby about a year ago if he was gonna continue financially supporting 2 adults indefinitely , 1 who has held a fulltime job since 7 months ago, then he needs to do the same to our 2 kids for savings.  Hubby is still paying these 2 adults and i hope the eldest marries her bf soon as that will make it easier for hubby to cut her off but its just a headaches 

Rags's picture

"No, you will spend the court ordered time with me. Do not make the mistake of thinking that you have a choice.  Also do not make the mistake of thinking that your attitude will be tolerated. Your only choice is whether your time with me will be enjoyable or if it will be miserable. I assure you that I have forgotten more about making snarky little shits miserable than you will ever learn."

No more caving to the bitching of snarky prior relationship breeding experiments.  Daddy needs to grow a pair.

lorlors's picture

the DH here erred in judgment by dropping the little guttersnipe back to mummy’s house. I’d have torn him a new one!

Thisisnotus's picture

wow thats alot like my SD12....if it's DH's time with her and we aren't "doing anything" which means spending money on something or going somewhere....then she just won't come over or she'll ask to be taken back to her moms. I'm way over it.......but the good news for me is that I rarely have to see this kid and she never sleeps at my house....b/c PAS.