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Father/daughter dance

newsmom's picture

Submitted by newsmom on Sun, 05/05/2013 - 8:18am

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Okay, here's the situation: Sd8 mentioned going to a daddy/daughter dance a week or so ago. Dh and I hadn't heard anything of it. After a couple days of looking online and asking around we found out that a flier was sent out while skids were at bms, and it is only a couple weeks away. (Dh abd bm keep a shared calendar of kids events that each is supposed to add events to and this was conveniently not added). Dh contacts bm letting her know that he would like to have sd for that evening to take her to the dance. She responded saying they "have plans". Dh asks If she's not going to let sd go to the dance and she finally says " her stepdad will be taking her. Thanks." I am so angry and hurt for my husband. She has been pushing the skids to call this man "dad" since dh was deployed and now this. My dh is a very involved father and this is ds's first father/daughter dance. What would you do? I guess there is nothing he can do since its over her weekend but this just pisses me off on every level.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sun, 05/05/2013 - 9:21am

Don't say another word to BM or SD about the dance.

He knows the date, time and location. I say he meets SD and her stepdad there.

jumanji's picture

Submitted by jumanji on Sun, 05/05/2013 - 9:53am

I am, too. Thinking Dad should just show up.

I remember the one and only Daddy/daughter dance my daughter went to. Although living at a distance, her Dad drove through this rough area (w/in about 20 minutes) every Friday. Dance was on Friday. It wasn't his w/e. She asked him if he'd go with her. He refused. My Dad was sick, my bro wasn't into it. So I ended up taking her. I knew all the dads there anyway, so it was no big. For me. It was huge for her. The look on her face when all of her friends danced to Daddy's Little Girl still breaks my heart. I just made a point of making plans for that night in other years.

jumanji's picture

Submitted by jumanji on Sun, 05/05/2013 - 4:33pm

I don't think it's sexist, really. They have Mother/Son dances, too. Our F/D dance was a G/S thing. I think it's all kind of sweet. Until your kid is the one w/o a Dad there...

Step-Volgirl's picture

Submitted by Step-Volgirl on Mon, 05/06/2013 - 9:31am

DH should definitely show up! The fight between your BM, new stepdad, your DH and you needs to stay between the adults. Your DH not showing up will just play into BM's plan of getting her new hubby to take more and more of a "father" role. In the end, the one who will be really hurt is your SD. Having your DH show up proves that she is important to him too.

Now, if I were in your shoes, I'd have DH bring SD some flowers....not only will that be super special for SD, but it'd really tick BM off.