Father’s Day

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How would you feel if BM sent a gift for Father’s Day in child’s name but the box included underwear for your SO?!? The child is 7 so I’m sure she did not pick the gift. It’s socks, underwear and undershirts. I don’t want to be bothered by it but at the same time it would be disrespectful for my bio daughter’s dad to send me underwear on any occasion. This is the same BM that calls nonstop throughout the day about nothing most times.

Ordinary regular ol' socks,

Ordinary regular ol' socks, underwear and undershirts?

LOL.

Are you sure this isn't the type of gift the kid typically gives her father on gift giving events? Yeah, not one I would think to give Daddy for Father's Day, but it is a very practical gift.

Now if you're talking sexy undies blah blah, yeah, totally you're.

I'm sure BM is having quite the giggle at the thought of your face when you saw socks and undies.

Also, I’ll add that prior to

Also, I’ll add that prior to meeting me he was wearing Hanes underwear. Well since being with me I have bought him nothing but Polo underwear. The underwear she bought him were Polo so how does she know that’s what he likes? I guess that’s what bothers me the most.

Yea.... how the heck DOES she

Yea.... how the heck DOES she know that. Certainly the child doesn't know? Weird...

Oh my! That freaks me out

Oh my! That freaks me out about the brand. Is that a pure coincidence or is she trying to tell you something??

Yeah, that would be a big ‘ol

Yeah, that would be a big ‘ol NOPE from me.

Ohhhhh, you have one of those

Ohhhhh, you have one of those too/???

So sorry.

Let me guess, if she was asked WHY she bought personal items, she would say 'oh, uuhhhh,mmmmm it's what the child wanted you to have THEY told me what to get.

OP,,,THAT is NOT a normal Fathers Day Gift....A Tie, A trip to get ice-cream or play mini golf...with kids allowence. OR coffee cup Best Dad ever on it...Stuff like that. Depending on their age of course.

Now think...IF bm was married and the kids gave her thongs and a bra for Mothers Day that you paid for??? Do you think her husband would sit back and ask, IS That normal....?????

NOPE NOT NORMAL GIFT from kids to parent.

Yea tell that to my SO. He

Yea tell that to my SO. He sees nothing wrong with it and says I’m being petty. I just wish she’d get married and move on with her life.

I would be more concerned how

I would be more concerned how BM knew to buy him the Polo brand...snooping much???

Snooping or there’s been some

Snooping or there’s been some reconnection happening at some point and time. That’s my major issue. Basic undies from Walmart probably wouldn’t bother me so much.

Agree this underwear gift is weird. BUT...

I think the bigger problem area is that the ex seems to be in constant/daily communication with your SO. If the excuse is, "It's about the child." that's BS.

On the other hand, that may explain why his ex knows what kind of underwear he likes. She probably contacted him and said the girl wanted to get him a gift for father's day - what did he want? Then your SO may have said he could always use underwear, socks. etc. BM then asks what kind? He says, "Polo." because that's what he wears. Ex probably jumped on it, since she could explain it away by saying, "Well, that's what YOU/HE asked for!" while at the same time, gleefully happy she caused strife in his relationship with you because of it.

So there may not be anything nefarious about it. You have to look at this gift in context with the entire situation/relationship. If there are other red flags, then this could be added to it. But then again, maybe not.

If the convo you describe, or

If the convo you describe, or anything like it, happened between DH and BM, why wouldn't DH tell the OP about it to explain and ease her mind, rather than gaslighting her by telling her she's being petty?

Um...my skids bm tried

Um...my skids bm tried pulling this the first or second year of DH and I dating. My boyfriend at the time, opened the "fathers day" gift from the "kids" during the exchange and there was a pair of silk boxers. The kids were already in the car, so he calmly walked over to the trash and threw them away. He pointed at bm and said ,"Knock it off."

That was the reaction your DH should have had. She's never tried that crap since. I would be very upset at your DH's reaction.