You are here

Family photos / holiday cards

Peony329's picture

Since the holidays just came and went, this is fresh on my mind. I got a handful of those photo holiday cards in the mail featuring a family photo of the mom, dad, and kids. Not going to lie; these photos break my heart a little bit and make me sad. When I was single, I knew I wanted to do a card like this every holiday season with my future husband and kids. I never imagined in a hundred years that I would be apart of a blended family one day.

I don't have any bio kids yet, but I already feel some anxiety about family photos. I feel like it's only natural to want a photo of just me, DH, and bio kid(s), but this is just unacceptable isn't it?

How does your blended family do family photos? Very curious.

HappilySelfish679's picture

DH wanted to take professional pics of all us us together . I felt skids didn't feel comfy with it so we did pics of just me and DH and then DH with his kids . Was fine . I couldn't care less if I was in that picture or not .

notasm3's picture

My friends who married men with kids never sent me a picture of their skids. But I usually got pictures of their bio kids. I never even met most of the skids.

MamaBass's picture

I have struggled with this as well. I have avoided cards the last 2 years since BS was born. Which has been very difficult since I am a graphic designer/photographer and enjoy doing them. I have a friend who has one SS14 and 2 bios and only does her bios. Her DH said its really not a big deal because his older son is 14 and other kids are 9 mo and 3. After that I felt much better about the idea of just doing my BS1 next year. He's little and I can do something adorable without the older boys SS11 and SS16 feeling left out. They have NO desire to have their photos taken. My family thinks it is so inappropriate to leave the older boys out but I don't care. They're brats. I don't want to pretend like we're one big happy family when we aren't. I'm sick of sugar-coating step life for outsiders! Get over it!

Bruniesmom's picture

We did ONE holiday card with my SS17 on it when my DD9 was 1yr. old. Caught kaka from BM. Now, I just do me, DH, and my DD's. I only send to my family anyways, so it's my choice. If my DH gave a carp and wanted cards to go to his family, he'd figure it out. My SS17 also really could care less. Smile He'd rather see pics of his sisters than sit still for pictures. He's a funny guy!

Teas83's picture

I've struggled with this too. In the first year of my DD's life, I had a couple of different photo shoots done of her. I didn't include SD7, but my husband and I weren't in them either. Lots of people have pictures done of just the new baby.

We're having another baby in July and I plan on having some pictures taken of him/her. I'm most likely going to get some of DD2 with the new baby too but I don't know if SD will be able to be included. I don't think there's anything wrong with me wanting pictures of just my own two children. My husband and I won't be in them either.

If we were to do family pictures, then SD would absolutely be included. She is part of our family. I'd have a hard time having her stand aside so that my husband and I can have pictures taken of just us with our two bio kids.

I always have a hard time when we get any kind of pictures done that include SD or if we go anywhere that we all need to look nice, because she always looks like such a ragamuffin. SD is still too young to take much pride in her appearance or to know how to do her own hair. My husband is clueless when it comes to that kind of thing so I always end up having to do the extra work of getting SD ready.

sammigirl's picture

With a young family, it is your choice. I know my grown SD dislikes me intensely, therefore I won't be phony about it; no "family" pictures. SD wants to take tons of pictures. I have no bio children now and the holidays are a bit difficult for me; I don't need anxiety from SD's snooty attitude; just don't do any more of the blended family.

It is heart breaking, because I do love my Sgrandkids and Sgreat-grandkids, but I butt out and let DH enjoy.

I also buy a box of cards for friends and family. I will not be phony about it and mail skids cards or buy gifts for them, it's DH's project, and he does fine with it.

I don't believe in forcing something that just isn't there. What's that ole' saying "Pictures Never Lie"????

Glassslipper's picture

We are blended family with no bios of our own, his kids/my kids family
Our xmas card is our family, with the kids and I like it because to me they are all our kids.
HOWEVER my bios have a SM, and she doesn't include my bios in her cards and has insisted all photography including them ne taken off the walls.
I have 50/50 custody with ExH and SM, and only recently learned of the change they did because my kids were in the room when the discussion took place. ExH lived in his home alone prior to meeting SM (it's NOT my previous home with ExH) he had baby photos and school photos up of them.
SM wanted them all removed and only photos of their family (exH, sm and baby) in there place. So that's how they do their photos.
Each family has their own personal feelings about how to do it, I guess I didn't see anything wrong with either way of doing it.

Glassslipper's picture

Yea, that's how I heard about it.
She announced it, in front of them, she wanted all of dad's photos of them before they met removed and replace with photos of just herself with DH and their child.
It hurt DD, DS didn't care.
It's how they choose to run their family, there is nothing I can do.
My kids and my skids have baby photos all over our house, some were taken before me met, but we don't take them down.

Indigo's picture

My BS's SM must be related to yours ... all photos gone, all furniture gone, all kid toys gone, as well as his bed, 'cuz she wanted a study/TV room. Everything prior to SM was obliterated.

Secretly, I think she wanted BS to disappear also buy my ex-DH disagreed.

Indigo's picture

*