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Is this failure to communicate?

SMof2Girls's picture

Per the CO, BM is required to provide info regarding all medical decisions/treatments; because all non-emergency care is a joint decision.

She is also required to provide copies of all pertinent documents related to their health, welfare, education, etc.

BM has refused to provide the name and contact info for the new allergist that SD6 is now seeing. She went for her first visit and bloodwork on Thursday. DH found out about the appointment the morning of. She is also refusing to tell him when the follow up appointment is.

She is stating that he has the pulmonologist's (first doctor) information, who made the referral to the allergist, so he can contact that doctor and get the information he's requesting.

She is also refusing to provide copies of their most recent report cards. She is saying that DH has the teacher's contact info and if he wants copies, he can request them himself.

DH has since emailed both teachers and the doctor requesting the above information. My question is, does this seem like a violation of the CO, or her just being as difficult as possible while still technically following the agreement?

These stupid things, like everything else with BM, are just so ridiculous to me. EVERYTHING has to be so difficult .. all the time. At what point does this crap really start to count against her in court? (We're planning to file for a custody modification as soon as she gets orders to her next duty station).

amber3902's picture

If BM is required to provide education and medical info, it does seem she is in violation.

If you were going into court with just that complaint I doubt a judge would do more than give her a slap on the wrist, but since you are going for a custody modification, it will be more ammunition for your case.

It should go on your list of things she does to show that she does not co-parent.

Good luck with your case!

SMof2Girls's picture

Thanks!

I feel like BM always dances the line of not quite violating enough for us to file charges, but more than what a normal person would consider to be compliance with the agreement.

If this were the only thing, DH and I would both be inclined to just let it go .. but it's not. It's every.single.thing. From visitation schedules, to medications, to vacations, to phone calls, etc. It just never ends.

It's hardly really clear with her .. I mean, technically DH DOES have the contact info to solicit the information himself .. but they live in Texas, we live in Maryland .. it's clearly more difficult for him to track down the info than it is for to just communicate what she already knows/has!

amber3902's picture

Yeah, it would be nice of BM to just email the information, some people just like being difficult!

Try not to let it annoy you, remember, by being difficult she's just giving you more ammunition to use against her.

Orange County Ca's picture

Try to get as many of these refusals via email so they can be piled up until they prove useful. Any one or few mean little but a couple of years worth can add up to a pattern. A photocopy of a report card is certainly part of the educational requirement of the court order.

Daddy can ask his attorney to write a letter to her threatening criminal violation of a court order and often that's all it takes. The attorney tells her she must immediately share all information with him consisting of but not limited to: etc etc