Excluding my son - please help
So my nightmare 18 yo step daughters bday is today. My husband took her to breakfast and wants to take the kids to take her for breakfast on Saturday.
My 10 yr old who grew up with her (I've been with my husband for 9 years, my husband has adopted him and he's the only dad my son has ever known) misses her like crazy. My 2 yr old wouldn't know who she was if he saw her, and my baby obviously wouldn't as well. She has not been around for over a year.
When my husband took her to lunch with my 2 boys a few mos ago he said she asked to see them. I found out after that she only asked to see her little brother and the baby who I didn't let go as she was like 1 week old. I didn't want any of the kids to go, she has said so and done so many horrible things to disrespect me but I know how bad my 10 yr old missed her. I'm sure my husband lied that she wanted to see both of them that make her seem less selfish.
I am so upset that he wants to take my kids to breakfast with her. Someone in my other post made the point that if we were to divorce he could not only take them to visit her but have her babysit them etc so as upset as I am (and I am very upset) I feel like I can't do anything about it.
I checked his phone and sure enough she specifically asked him to bring the baby and 2 yr old and I am so mad I want to scream. Her only reason for excluding my son, the only one who knows and loves her, has to be because he's my son. Do I let him go and risk her being rude to him again? She was rude to him the last time and it broke his heart. He misses her so much he is excited to go. But I know that he was specifically not invited I just want to protect his feelings at this point. I want to say none of them are allowed to go but do I have that right?
I have been crying for 2 days because I am mad and sad and hurt and angry. I just got over being sad and here it goes again. This is my life and right now I am hating her for wanting to exclude her brother who loves her like crazy.