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ex wives are never happy

Kelly Billet's picture

My husband and I have been married for a year now and were dating 3 years before that. His exwife demands money everytime we take a trip together or if we purchase a new car. She will either take him back to domestics or demand he give her money. We pay child support weekly and we pay for my step daughters insurance. She just won't let us get ahead.

briarmommy's picture

You don't have to give her extra money, you only have to give her what is court ordered. If she withholds the child because of that then you take her to court for contempt. Don't give her the child support out of court, do it all through the child support agency, I know in my state any money given out of child support agency they consider extra and they will still make you pay the money you were supposed to pay through them. You need to nip the extra money in the bud, she just can't have money every time she asks. If the kids need activity money, pay it to the activity. If the kid needs clothes buy the clothes don't give money. You can't give the women extra cash it sets a bad precident.

uncommon's picture

That's a pretty broad brush you just used there.

Ditto the previous poster - don't give her anything other than what is ordered. Problem solved. Whether or not she is happy about it really isn't something you should waste any time caring about.

giveitago's picture

We paid minimal child support voluntarily, even after we got custody of the kids! Crazy psychotic woman was being bought by us, her greed and instant cash for her, but the thing she forgot to take into account is that WE had the kids and she really did herself no favors at all by taking the money. When we did get legal custody and we decided to buy a house then he informed her the money would stop, jack she could do! It was not court ordered and she had no recourse to sue us. We have check stubbs to prove we paid her and she accepted the payments.

confusedsm11's picture

I will never forget last summer right after I lost my job...we were struggling BIG time, I mean we had NO food in our house , couldn't pay our rent, etc. It was the worst and scariest time of our lives. DH goes to drop off SS and BM starts complaining to him that he needed to buy shoes and take SS for a haircut bc she just couldn't afford it. I told him there was NO way in hell we could do that. A few days later she calls and tells us about how she went to dinner and the movies over the weekend we had SS. She has 2 kids by 2 different men with her CS total at $1,400 a month and she doesn't have to pay for any insurance. She gets subsidized housing and her rent is half of ours. Why are they so money hungry, devious women? Since then, I refused to send him in our clothes, I refuse to let DH pay for haircuts and when we buy shoes, they are for our time only. She also went on THREE vacations last summer (one of which she left SS here for the week so she could be alone with her BF). I asked DH if she was going to give us that weeks portion of the child support back bc we didn't have the money to pay her to have SS here with us! lol I CAN NOT WAIT until he is 18. I will be throwing a huge party to celebrate the end of the LOADS of money she gets from us. I am also a BM, I accept way less than what hte court said her father should pay bc I knew he couldn't afford it. I don't ask for extras from him but if he provides them, it is nice. I don't ask him to help pay for her insurance, etc. I think child support should help provide the basic needs of hte child and what he pays, covers all of that. Why do women think the man should have to pay sooo much just bc they carried hte baby? They aren't all bad must scorn women are vicious ppl to deal with

cc01's picture

I agree with you, confused sm.

Take for example my SO, he pays CS and everything is ok with that. He wants to pay CS for his daughter, but sometimes I think it's too much. He gets a percentage taken off of his paychecks, and lets say his pay is $1200 for the week (he's a carpenter, who works incentive, so his pay varies from week to week depending on how hard he works), after CS, he only gets about $800. So the bm gets loads of money when he works his ass off! Imagine what she gets in a month! Now, I have no problem with him paying CS, but why does it have to be so much? She has the house HE built, which she only pays a measly $300 a month, and it's hers! After they split, he had to claim bankruptcy because he had too many bills from building a brand new house and buying all brand new furniture, and whatever the witch wanted. Yes the bm has the SD 60% of the time, but DAMN! He buys her MOST of everything she needs. The only thing the bm buys is the food and the occasional clothes. SO buys her all of her school clothes, shoes, pays for her bday parties and anything the bm asks him to get, he gets it! On top of that, he's NOT a disney dad, he genuinely loves and cares for his daughter and spends a lot of quality time with her. When we have her, we always take her out to movies, fairs, arcades...etc...the works.

She thinks she deserves everything he's done for her...and is still doing.

Now he hasno credit, and drives vehicles he can only pay cash for. Things will change once we build a brand new house together, and I know she will flip! My issue is, is why should he continue paying LOADS of CS to the bm, if we build a house and possibly have a baby together. To me, he does way more than his fair share of paying, and in the end, he's suffering from it because the witch cleaned him out and left him to foot the bill so she could live in luxury. Now he's always complaining about his hand me down truck (which he got from his dad) the truck is always needing repairs, and he's STILL miserable because of her stupid ass! Grrrr that makes me mad.

gstaff92481's picture

Unfortunately a lot of BMs that are out there worry only about getting back at the's not about the children.

Perfect example...
The BM to my SS & SD is recently divorced from her 3rd husband, yes she is already remarried! Anyhow...she has a restraining order against him (its stupid) and per their parenting agreement which in this case trumps the restraining order, he is allowed to contact her only in regards to their son. We'll call him G. 3rd husband contacts BM on Easter via text to have G call him so he can wish G a Happy Easter. BM doesnt respond and files a compaint against 3rd husband. They had court yesterday on this. She actually brings G to court with her to be a witness against 3rd husband, his own father!!! G has a wonderful relationship with 3rd husband! Luckily she actually said this to 3rd husband in front of his attorney and a police officer.

Now BM couldn't take off work (the 23rd) to fight for custody of her children (DH & 3rd husband have filed petition for custody of all kids) or to be at court for her son (SS15 got caught having a party with alcohol at BMs old home the night she married 4th husband) and he had juvi court on the 23rd as well....BUT she could take off work to try and get 3rd husband, G's father, thrown in jail!!!

By the end of it the judge was miffed with her and the DA told 3rd husband's attorney that BM is stupid, doesn't listen and is borderline crazy!!!! MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! }:)

B22S22's picture

You do realize that the BM asking for money whenever you do something for yourself probably has nothing to do with "needing something". I honestly think BM believes that if we can afford to go on vacation, or buy a new vehicle, then certainly DH isn't paying enough CS. She's made noises a couple times about having CS re-evaluated because I'm driving a new car, or we go on vacation (our anniversary trip every year).

faithnicol's picture

:jawdrop: How bout this? Ex wife calls from the salon because she doesn't have any gas money!!!!!!!!!!!! lol