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Ex-husband calling kid too much

wildinmystyle's picture

Submitted by wildinmystyle on Mon, 01/13/2014 - 7:51pm

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I have been a step-dad for three years and the ex-husband has minimal custodial rights. Long story short, he walked out on the relationship early in my step-son's life. He basically sees my five year old step-son whenever it is convenient and is a "Disney dad" when he sees him. Since Christmas, he has significantly increased his contact and calls almost every day. The frequency of contacts is troubling. I don't want to be a jerk and say he can't talk to him, but how can we establish boundaries without pissing him off?

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Tue, 01/14/2014 - 12:37am

sometimes leaving it alone and letting the bio-father fall of the radar is the best idea... I'd give it a few weeks and see. my skids' bm is pretty absentee, sometimes she amps up but without fail eventually she calms down and goes back to limited contact... give it a few weeks before addressing it. sometimes if you try to address it you inadvertedly cause more motivation for him to call bc he will know it irritates you guys...

snowdrop's picture

Submitted by snowdrop on Tue, 01/14/2014 - 12:45am

also, it's ok to miss some of the calls and to limit when they're returned, like within 48 hours. no judge is going to penalize that. you can limit the calls without mentioning it to him too...

wildinmystyle's picture

Submitted by wildinmystyle on Tue, 01/14/2014 - 10:31pm

Thanks for taking the time to read my issues and offer great advice. I appreciate your feedback!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 01/15/2014 - 5:58am

A court will not tolerate either side in a blended family situation harassing the other. This is harassment and manipulation by BioDad and you need to get this crap stopped NOW!!

Next time he calls your home tell him he can call at a prearranged time once a week. That is it and if he continues to harass your family you will file charges. Record the calls and keep your incoming call records so that you can smack him in court if he does not pull his head out of his ass.

Contact with a kid is one thing. Infringing on the household bliss of an X is another.

IMHO of course.