Etiquette

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I am sure we covered this before...

My skid's grandfather past away...this is BM's father.

DH and her have a decent relationship, they communicate via text 99% of the time. We have 50/50 custody (Fri-Fri). The skids are boys (12 and 13yrs). DH has been divorced for about 8 yrs and was married for about 8 yrs. BM has said (via email, texts, phone) many times how much she hates me, kids hate me, etc...so we have no relationship. We have never been hostile face to face - but she ignores me...to point of extreme rudeness. I have asked her a question regarding one of the skids med dosage and she just looked and me and turned away. I see her in the grocery store and smile and say "Hello BM" and she literally turns away. You get the picture.

So the question...does DH go to the viewing??? I would not go with him, as I would not wnat to see her at my father's funeral and I would hate to make her uncomfortable/mad at her father funeral (since I actually have a heart )

I agree. Let him go but I

I agree. Let him go but I wouldn't let the kids go unless you think they can handle it. I still see my dead father's face in my head sometimes and it haunts me.

The skids are with their

The skids are with their mother this week so they will be attending with her (as they should).

Yeah I'd let DH decide on

Yeah I'd let DH decide on this one. Frankly in my case (i have the same relationship with the BM as you do) Godsgift wouldn't go to his ex-grandfather in law's funeral. He liked the guy but didn't like the way the man turned on him.

This is one generation back btw. The BM's father was PASed out by her mom in her earlier years but since then they "re-united" with the Wookie's (ex-MILs) grace.

Was the BM's dad divorced from the BM's mom? I think that has a bearing as well.

I think he should be there

I think he should be there for his kids. My kids are grown now but if something happens to one of their grandparents and they ask me to attend with them, I will be there. It has absolutely nothing to do with my x.

Auteur - the grandparents are

Auteur - the grandparents are still married.

I think this is one of those

I think this is one of those situations that SUCKS but it's not for us to decide. We aren't here to control our husbands but to share our lives with them. I would let your husband decide, and if he decides to go just MAKE HIM PAY IN OTHER WAYS. Just kidding!! I mean, if he decides to go just grit your teeth and try to enjoy your alone time. I mean, the BM only has two parents and a death isn't something that will happen every weekend. I wouldn't like it either, and I would be frustrated and angry inside, but I wouldn't show it. Just another one of the SUPER FUN parts of being a step mom.

FYI - I am sending a plant

FYI - I am sending a plant from our family and then two small (terarriums (sp)) one for each of the boys. I thought they could keep it their rooms and it wont need much care and should last...

I think it should be up to

I think it should be up to your DH to decide. He knows what kind of relationship he has with his past extended family. If he feels he should be there you should support him in that...and if he feels he should not then that is ok to. I know if when my DH's BM#1's parents passed he did not give one iota. When BM#2's mom goes...he wont care. When BM#2's dad passed though...DH definitely intends to be there. He loved that man as his FIL and he still carries alot of respect for him. I would have no problem with him attending as long as widow (BM#2's sm) didnt have a problem with it, and I dont think she would. We will cross that bridge when we get there.

I think it should be up to

I'm sure DH would go. That's

I'm sure DH would go. That's fine. I'm sure he'd just HAVE to be there for his children (you know, the ADULTS who don't give a shit about anyone but themselves) As long as he doesn't expect ME to go!

I would say it is up to DH,

I would say it is up to DH, what does DH say about it? Does he want to go?
I don't think he should go from the point of view of supporting his kids because their mother is there for that.
I know with my SO, he would feel very uncomfortable going to skid's grandfather's funeral because he didn't treat him well when he left the marriage. But I wouldn't put it past skid's to ask him to go and then he says yes!

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