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Entitled? Rude? Or normal?

caitlinj's picture

A child goes to a restaurant with his mother and grandma while on vacation out of town. It's a restaurant that also has a bar/lounge area with sports bar type atmosphere even though he is sitting at a table not in that area. He wants to watch his favorite sports team play even though we are out of town guests and the locals do not follow that team. He asks his mother and grandma if they can ask the waiter to tell the bartender to change the channels to his favorite sports team even though they are not sitting at the bar near the televisions and others are sitting at the bar watching something else. The grandma follows his request and asks the waiter not once but twice to do this. Entitled? Or normal? The child is 8. Granted they never checked with anyone else to ask what they wanted to watch.

NakedBee00's picture

Sounds like grandma doesn’t have any manners either. 

tog redux's picture

That doesn't scream entitlement to me. Some sports bars have 15 televisions and if he asked for one to be changed, and it wasn't appropriate, then the adults around him should let him know that. If he then screamed and pitched a fit that the bar wouldn't change the station for him, THEN I'd say he was entitled.

Booboobear's picture

i was wondering the same thing about asking great clips to change music station off of country music (i have not, but tempted)   its TORTURE!!!

GrabitAndGo's picture

I'd say it's rude since the kid wasn't even sitting in the area where the televisions were.  Kid was rude, granny was rude.  

sunshinex's picture

Kids will be entitled if you let them. They don't always understand all the ins-and-outs of proper social etiquette unless you teach them. Grandma was rude, kid was being a kid and should have been shut down. 

For example... My stepdaughter has been taught to not watch people eat/stare at other's food since she was 3. She's 7 now and totally gets it. My SIL's kid is the same age and will walk up and sniff your food while you're eating it.... 

Kids are socially stupid until you teach them otherwise. 

TwoOfUs's picture

LOL...it's a little entitled if the TVs were being watched. We've been out of town at a pizza joint or somehting and my DH has asked to change to the station with his game on...but it was always clear no one else was watching or caring about what was on. So it just depends. 

I will say...some people lose their sense of propriety and proportion when their kids are involved. I had an issue where DH got super upset because his friend had called and asked us if we had to bring the skids to his second wedding...because space was tight and his fiance was getting stressed about the numbers...so he was asking close friends and family on his side to not bring kids. His friend even said that it would be fine to have the kids at the reception after the service...could they just go to a nearby coffee shop or something during the service itself? 

My DH absolutely flipped out and none of us went to the wedding. (He didn't flip out on his friend...but in private, to me, he went on and on and on about how RUDE his friend was being and how "if his kids aren't welcome" then he's not welcome!!! Drama king much? But he just emailed his friend and said a work obligation had come up so we couldn't make it...and we sent a nice gift.) 

But here's the thing: 

1. The "kids" at this point were all mid-to-late teens and really wouldn't care about going to a wedding at all. 

2. The wedding was not on a visitation weekend...DH had requested kids for the event for God Knows Why. 

3. The kids didn't really know this friend at all. He was a mutual friend DH and I made after we got married through a work connection. The kids maybe met him once? Maybe not at all. They didn't even know his fiance's name.

4. I went back to double-check the invitation to be sure...and yep. The invite was addressed to DH and me specifically. No mention of kids or family at all. 

 

So who's really the "rude" one here? The guy who nervously, at the request of his bride-to-be, called to "uninvite" DH's three teenage kids? Or the guy who RSVP'd for FIVE people when the invitation was for TWO people...and then got his boxers in a twist when his friend disinvited his kids WHO WEREN'T INVITED IN THE FIRST PLACE? 

Clearly, I'm with DH's friend on this one and I let my DH know it. The height of rudeness is to volunteer extra, unknown people to a wedding...even if you somehow think these are the most awesome, wonderful people on the planet and who wouldn't just love to be graced with their presence?? (Answer: A lot of people. A lot of people don't give a f*** about your kids and wouldn't want them clogging up the works at their most important day...) 

Anyway. Maybe it's because I don't have kids of my own...but I do find many parents utterly clueless and unreasonable about things like this. Not in my family...my sisters are very reasonable and realistic about their kids. They love them...but they don't expect the world to revolve around them. They don't even make THEIR worlds revolve around their kids...much less everyone else's. 

Jcksjj's picture

Ehh I dont think my 8 year old would really get that he was being rude in that situation. I would expect him to say okay and drop it once I explained to him that others were watching though, idk what grandma was thinking. He is behind somewhat socially though so I cant judge for sure if that is "normal" or not. Either way I think grandma missed that chance for a lesson and promoted some entitlement. I will also say that my mom would have probably acted the same as grandma in this situation and my son definitely acts brattier when he is with her because of that. We've actually limited the amount of time spent with her somewhat because of that.

TwoOfUs's picture

Hahaha. 

That's true. SS went away with his grandparents on a week-long trip when he was about 11. When he came back, he was the worst for a couple weeks. Expecting to be waited on hand and foot (brought drinks, plates made for him, total control over the TV, etc.)

Then, the first time we went out to eat after he got back, he ordered prime rib off the adult menu. Thankfully, DH just laughed and said: "Um. Sorry...your prime rib days are over!" before telling the server he'd have the kid's hamburger. I will say about SS...he always has been super polite and always, always said thank you for everything we did...so it's not like he was trying to be a brat...it's just what he had gotten used to! 

 

caitlinj's picture

More info here. The server replied the channels could not be changed so they asked again only to be told no, again. We were not sitting near the TVs or the bar area. The TVs were in our periferoal vision at best.

ESMOD's picture

None of the above.  It's clueless and the adults didn't use this opportunity to teach him that lesson.

He should have been told by his mom/grandmom that the TV(s) were for the viewing pleasure of those people in the bar.. and that his party wasn't sitting there.  He also could have been told that the sports team he wanted to watch might not be of interest to the others because of where they were and that it would be rude to demand they watch something just for "him".  This is an adult fail.. I won't fault the kid for asking.. kids ask for lots of stuff..lol

Merrywey's picture

not to ask once, twice yes.  I always request a channel change if the tv/s are tuned Fox network. 

AlmostGone83's picture

Can the 8 year old enjoy a meal out without his eyes glued to the TV? Ridiculous IMO. Just eat your meal, kid. When you’re a big boy you can come in here, sit at the bar with the other adults and request a change of channels.

Iamwoman's picture

Absolutely entitled. And seemingly encouraged.

1. He wasn’t near the TV, so no.

2. Already told no once, so no.

3. The kid isn’t paying, so no.

4. It’s a kid who is being granted the privilege of eating at an adult establishment, so NO!

ReginaPhalange's picture

The kid is a brat and grandma is enabling him.