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Emotionally Unavailable Partners

onthefence2's picture

I go back and read this article as much as necessary. Read the comments as well. I wanted to share this article here because I think it applies to so many of you who are perplexed at your SO's behavior with his/her kids while you get treated like crap. I think this is often why people put their kids before their SO. It also might explain why men hunt for a mom figure for their "oops" so they can have their life outside the home while the woman takes care of his "oops." It definitely applies to my situation, so like I said, I re-read it often. It keeps it fresh in my mind.

Rags's picture

Hey, I was married to this person. My XW fits all of the 12 signs except the only in it for the sex part. She was shopping the pooty all over the state ... everywhere but at home in our marrital bed.

onthefence2's picture

Well, in my situation, you have to give up a lot. And then when you realize how much you gave up and you are getting NOTHING in return, you realize it's pointless. My exbf has never been married (43). After a month and a half of bliss, he did a 180 and became a different person. It was like night and day. I gave it almost another 2 years because our personalities are really perfect for each other. But his issues weren't workable for me.


I think 7-12 is my DH. His words definitely don't match his actions. I can't claim the only wanting sex because that's a once a month occurence.

He is always always working or tired. DH would rather text me while he's away at his job then sit at home with me on the weekend and just watch tv to be together.

It sucks. I do all the work and reaps all the benefits. I'm still making decisions on what's next with it all.

goingslowlycrazy's picture

Mine is a mx...he's very complicated.. Passive agressive..lots of issues..withdraws emotionally as punishment..wants to be affectionate to me but I 'wind him up and make him angry' we can go long periods wher there's no conflict at all. This is usually when the skids are not around..physically he's all over me like a rash but he can't seem to communicate well out of the bedroom.. He's uneducated...literally and has been brought up on a world of physical violence and drug use..I am privately educated and had a lovely childhood. My daughter is grown and is a responsible adult..his kids are a nightmare..I've done everything to try and help them but they can't be helped..until they want to be. My OH shouts...a lot...mostly at me . I put up with behaviour from him that I wouldn't from anyone else.. That said when things are calm he is loving at times and I truly believe he wants to be but doesn't know how. He's asked me to marry him..he's never been married before. I want to but have lots of reservations..can people change do you think?

Bellamy's picture

I skimmed it, but it doesn't take a self proclaimed expert to say if something isn't right. What if everything just feels wrong and you're heart is filled with pain but the self proclaimed expert says you you are the wrong one. Do you just go on because they say so?