DW expects me to sort out her kids
My DW has 2 kids from her previous marriage, and shares custody with her ex husband over weekends. So we get them every other weekend. What drives me absolutely nuts is that, when they're at our place, she expects me to do all the catering. Every mealtime is my problem. She won't lift a finger to feed her own kids. I've tried ignoring mealtimes, but as soon as the kids get hungry, she asks me what I'm going to do to feed them. I told her before that I expect her to at least sort out their meals, but for some reason she doesn't want to do so.
What also annoys me, is that almost every weekend, either the SD or SS insists on bringing a friend along. Now once in a while is OK, but I'm now having to cater not only for 2 extra people in the home, but 3 every other weekend. I've also told DW that this is not fair towards me - I can't be expected to provide for complete strangers' kid (the friends they bring) every second weekend, but once again DW just ignores me and lo and behold, every 2nd weekend there are 3 extra kids.
Should I tough it out, and ignore the hungry kids? Should I put my foot down and tell the skids directly not to bring friends every time?
They are her kids - make her
They are her kids - make her do it. If you go out will she take over? Or the kids will go hungry til you get home?
Why is DW acting like that?
Is DW overwhelmed when the skids come to visit? Parenting doesn't come naturally to many people. Does she interact with the children otherwise? Does she not know her way around the kitchen, store, pub or take-away? Or, does she view this as your role in the family. For instance, she sees you as the nuturer, care-giver while she is the bread-winner?
Lots of questions. My first reaction, however, was not as a mature as the other posters who suggested removing yourself from the home for those weekends. My thoughts were about making DW's life less comfortable since she is dumping her responsibilities onto you.
Since DW has some issues surrounding her ability to parent, it's fair game to ask the skids not to bring friends over for the next month or so. Give them a heads-up prior and offer to drive their friends home if everyone crashes your house anyway. Enforcing of boundaries.
No way there should be extra
No way there should be extra kids, send them home, call their parents to come pick them up, or drive them home yourself.
When DW asks what’s for dinner the answer is “Whatever you’re making.”
As others have said get out of the house when they’re there.