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Double standards regarding manners btw dc & sk

enuf's picture

This is irked me forever. My dh was quite strict with my ds's & gk manners. Dh met my dsons when he came into their lives at 10 & 12 years old. As I recall ss was in his 20's when dh introduced him to me. He stills brings up what he considers their atrocious manners of not waiting until I sat down to start eating and not opening doors for me.

My ds and gkids 11 &12 years, have learned not to even sit at the table until I sit down first. They stand by their chairs until I am seated. I get served first. They open and close car doors for me, doors for any building I am going into. They do not wear their caps in a restaurant or when we are eating dinner at my home.

So ss is now 47 years old and what does he do when he comes over for a dinner. He sits at the dinner as I get food in serving platters to place on the table. As I put each platter on table he starts heaping his food on his plate. By the time every one else sits down he has proceeded to wolf down his food. He wears his cap while eating in a restaurant or in my home for dinner. I actually do not mind as when he removes it, he has tons of dandruff which is really gross. Dh always hands him food first when ss has not had time to help himself first.

Dh is a hypocrite. I just smile as my ds and gkids are gentlemen.

enuf's picture

Yes, I forget dh precious ds47 lets doors slam in my face if he is walking in before me. Dh just pretends he did not see it. Strangely, ds is a uneducated, unemployed, has only had one girlfriend that lasted one year and Dh feels so proud of the piece of sh*t he and ex pooped out one day. Again, he is a hypocrite!!!

Aeron's picture

Uh, if your "d"h still brings up thinking your kids and gkids once upon a time had bad manners, why Don't you say something to him about his feral adult child?

enuf's picture

I have said so many things about ss to my dd and he argues that he is not like that, that he does not shun me, that he does not shut the door on my face. No matter how many times I have said something to him, he says I am just making it up. I guess they taught him that in officer training school "Never admit to anything." After all these years I gave up with ss. Dh has the illusion that eventually we would be one happy family. Now that I am leaving him that is not likely to ever happen.

Do any of you steps have to deal with this kid of double standard from dh in regard to skids and your dear children?