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Domestic abuse by stepchildren

Tara456's picture

Submitted by Tara456 on Mon, 09/28/2020 - 5:17am

Forums: 
General Discussion

Does anyone know about policing and the law in England regarding domestic abuse by an adult stepchild?  Is there any point at which I can call the police, other than if I feel physically threatened/in fear? Thanks.

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Mon, 09/28/2020 - 5:36am

I suggest you go down to your local poice station and ask them. This will:

  • get you the information you need and clarify your situation,
  • take a weight off your mind because you have finally told someone, and
  • alert them to your situation. 

You are only asking for information and you are not asking them to intervene ... yet, but it makes you known. FWIW, abuse (domestic or otherwise) is abuse no matter who is responsible.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Thu, 10/01/2020 - 3:50am

Taking direct official action is always the best path forward.  Except when one's life is in immediate danger in which case direct overwhelming violent action that permanently ends the risk to one's life and wellbeing has to be taken.

IMHO of course.

newtostep26's picture

Submitted by newtostep26 on Mon, 09/28/2020 - 12:40pm

Start documenting everything that occurs that could be determined as abusive, wether the offender is an adult or a child. Stepchildren can and will be abusive towards their step parents. 

Tara456's picture

Submitted by Tara456 on Mon, 09/28/2020 - 12:21pm

Thanks for the replies. I am documenting everything. The abuse has been going on since I came here, but now it's reached peak levels from this one adult SK who has moved back in with us. 

If it turns physical, which I do worry it might now, then I will call the police without hesitation.

But on the non-physically violent side, eg intimidation, constant harassment etc, I wondered if anyone here knew if domestic violence/abuse by an adult SK is taken seriously by the police, what sort of event would trigger them to pay a visit, do they just think "SK/SP issues, never mind".

Winterglow's picture

Submitted by Winterglow on Thu, 10/01/2020 - 4:21am

Here it is, officially:

"Domestic abuse, or domestic violence, is defined across Government as any incident of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of their gender or sexuality. "

Please go and read the entire article. It's at https://www.cps.gov.uk/crime-info/domestic-abuse 

I think you'll realize that you are absolutely being abused and that you have the right NOT TO BE. Do not minimize things. You have the right to feel safe in your own home. 

Also, please stop thinking that they are going to brush it off with  "SK/SP issues, never mind". That's akin to "oh, he beats his wife? No big deal, just an argument between spouses".

Please go to your local police station today, as I previously advised.

ESMOD's picture

Submitted by ESMOD on Mon, 09/28/2020 - 1:21pm

Obviously, no one should be allowed to abuse you physically or mentally.  

However... this is nowhere near a new situation.  I am not blaming you for it happening... but your partner/husband seems to be wholly uncaring and actually part and parcel to some of the abusive behavior.

At this point.. it's not "what can I do to get them in trouble".. it is what can I do to get my self the heck out of this horrible situation.

There is no threat of consequences that will resolve your situation.  Unfortunately, your own husband is very likely to take his children's side.. so i have doubts that the law will be able to do anything.  A he said/she said situation.. where they will have him as a witness.. and all your documenting could be seen as nothing more than a dramatic fabrication.

Just be kind to yourself and leave this mess.  go see a lawyer and get all you are entitled to.  If you can throw in some evidence..or documentation of your spouses lack of support and abuse.. you hopefully should make out fine.

 

Tara456's picture

Submitted by Tara456 on Mon, 10/26/2020 - 6:58am

Thank you everyone for your replies.  The situation escalated, the SK had another outburst, this time I immediately walked away and he carried on shouting and ranting. I have updated the later thread about what has happened, the SK was asked to move out yesterday. A brother in law is now desperately trying to get his brother (my OH) to wake up and smell the coffee about what his sons do. I'm ready for my OH and me to separate anyway, I doubt he ever will wake up.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Mon, 10/26/2020 - 5:19pm

I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this. However, I am happy for you that you are ready to move on and to put this entire shallow and polluted gene pool behind you.

Take care of  you.