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Does parental alienation ever backfire???

Loristepmom's picture

Submitted by Loristepmom on Mon, 11/09/2020 - 4:29pm

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General Discussion

You hear all the time how kids can be Alienated from one parent BUT does it ever backfire on the parent who is doing the Alienation? 
 

BM for years has tried to be the favorite parent and bash DH. For awhile SS13 when younger seemed to be playing into it but now that he's older no longer siding with BM. SS13 is very close to both parents BUT could BM cause SS to pull away from her by talking badly about DH? Could BM cause Permanent damage to her relationship with SS? 

shamds's picture

Submitted by shamds on Tue, 11/10/2020 - 5:13am

In my case sd's have been so brainwashed and sd25 does bio mums bidding for her and thinks she has authority as a mummy and to answer me back regarding the parenting of my kids. 
 

when sd's started questioning the lies bio mum spewed suddenly bio mum claimed she was a born again religious woman and was all good and sd kept repeating to her dad after ceasing contact for 5.5 years that bio mum is all good and even when her lying mum lyed that my husband sees with drs to do black magic (batshit crazy she is!!) sd still bought that crap

in order to counteract the pas, those children need to be able to self reflect. Too many of these skids have been so conditioned and brainwashed to take the alienating bio parents word as the law. Doesn't matter if that parent was abusive, cheated on their kids other bio parent, they still buy the crap

lieutenant_dad's picture

Submitted by lieutenant_dad on Tue, 11/10/2020 - 6:30am

Can happen. BM here tried to alienate the boys (and the school, and any other adult in their lives) against DH. Neither of the boys really took to it, but definitely were closer to BM and believed some of the stuff she said. Over the last year, OSS has really pulled away from BM, and now that he's in college, he has decided to stay with us over breaks versus staying with her. My guess is that YSS will want to stay here quite a bit as well since OSS will be here.

I can also say from my own experience that my mother tried alienating me from my dad and did a fairly good job. It has only been in the last two or three years where I have questioned my mom's motives and tried to build a better relationship with my dad. I still have a pretty close relationship with my mom, but it is definitely strained and I'm reworking the terms of that relationship in my own head.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Tue, 11/10/2020 - 3:25pm

Sure BM's PAS could influence SD to pull away from her dad.  This is why Skids need the facts when one of their parents is a PASing POS.

All of the facts.  Though particularly the ones that bare the toxic ass of the PASing POS parent.  If a kid is going to choose to go along with the POS PASing parent, it should be a consciouse choice based on full knowledge of all of the facts pertinate to the kid's life, and the crap the PASing POS pulls.