You are here

Does a day ever go by without BM coming up with an excuse for contact with DH?

Mrs. Why's picture

Just wondering if this is normal. It seems, almost never does a day go by without BM coming up with SOME reason to contact DH. "Little Johnny sneezed today, please call, we need to discuss this for at least 20 minutes." I'm almost NOT joking.

Is it a desperate attempt to stay in the picture? I've never seen kids who need so much communication over nothing. My EX and I email if its something that needs an explanation, or drop a text once a week over basics. I don't feel the need to contact him over my kid sneezing.

Any thoughts or explanations on this behavior from BM?

princessmofo's picture

BM or horsefaced bitch devil cunt works with dh. So, to answer your question, no. Not a fucking day of my life goes by where that beyotch does not talk to my husband. About total crap. I wouldn't even know what it felt like to live without her. She's my albatross.

RedWingsFan's picture

In our situation, BM NEVER contacts DH and especially now that she has an attorney she can speak through. Stepdevil14 moved in with her full time last summer and since they don't have to discuss her, there's really no reason for her to contact him. I love it.

sterlingsilver's picture

I rarely contact my xh b/c every time I email him he emails back with anger and blame. I just cannot handle his poison.

Step-Volgirl's picture

AnaR's last paragraph!!!

Also, ask her to text or email all concerns. That way, your DH can immediately see if it's urgent (or not) and deal with it appropriately.

Jinxycat's picture

Yes agreed... nutty BM did this and DH repeatedly, repeatedly, repeatedly set boundaries. After a year or so it started working especially when he did not pick up the phone and insisted on texts/emails. Leave a message if its an emergency. Now and again she uses the boundaries against him like "he never responds back to me", which actually means "he didn't drop everything immediately and listen to my histronics" but overall it's improved. It's no fun, but you have to stick to the boundary thing. Initially when we we married, DH had to go so far as to threaten a restraining order BC she would drop over and walk in our house...that was a treat.

Froggy15's picture

I feel the same way . She calls him to tell him about her new protein shake she created, sends pictures of stuff she buys for herself, calls to ask oh my change oil light is on can I still drive my car? How &$@" stupid are you? It makes me sick to see her constantly call and text. She calls to ask if we used our phones to take pictures on our vacation.., she was just on a vacation and took pictures with her camera!
It's sad cause this is causing lots of fights cause bf wants to be friends with her and I don't like it one bit!
She has no respect

foxycountrymom's picture

I feel your pain. My fiances BM is like that. If it's about the kids fine, I'll buy it but she'll text him a picture of another baby and say "aww he's so cute i want to put him in my pocket" or just text to say hi and see what he's doing. PISSES me off. It's gotten so bad that I finally told him that he needs to set some boundries or we just aren't going to work out. My Ex calls or text ONLY when it's about my son and we need to communicate and that's like maybe once a week. Granted my son is 9 and he does call his dad every night and my fiance's daughter is 1 so that's why I don't mind the kid conversation but all the other BS friendly stuff gotta stop.

Mrs. Why's picture

Damn, I guess it IS normal!!!! LOL.

DH had put his foot down and doesn't go jumping at her every day so anymore. However, she does use the "I'm just being a good mom" card as her excuse for texting, emailing and calling all the time. How does DH argue with that lol. "It's about the "kids" and she will paint him to the kids as a bad dad if he doesn't respond to her contact and control tactics.

You're all right, it's desperate. I usually laugh at it, but still think it's annoying. Let go already bm's.

Mrs. Why's picture

He has asked.... And even ordered her to stop. She just gives it a day or so, and then calls with something "important" about the kids. Most of the time he ignores it, but she has a way of creating situations.... presenting her own solutions n then telling him about it. I am very proud of HIS actions in all of this! She is just nuts I think lol

krazykaty's picture

BM called us every day the last 2 weeks I was pregnant because SD was so excited to have a little sister. BM wanted to being the skids to the hospital. I initially told her that DH would do that and that we were limiting visitors to family only while I was in the hospital. DH's boss showed up and posted a picture on fb. BM came by that afternoon with a "since Boss can show up, I thought I'd swing by. I wanted to see if DD looks like DH at all."

DH flipped out! Now they only communicate through texts and email.

Eventually, BM will cross the line and DH will put her in her place.

Mrs. Why's picture

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???????? GOOD FOR YOUR HUSBAND!!!!!! Maybe he should get a DNA test on his first kids with a comment like that. I had a DNA test done on both of my DH's children..... and have kept the results all these years.... wink wink. Maybe you should do the same.

tradingplaces's picture

Our BM tried this in the beginning when we got together but she just got more and more controlling, invasive, snarky etc so DH told her if she didn't keep it out about the kids he wouldn't be talking to her...needless to say I don't think they've spoken on the phone in almost two years now...set limits and there's nothing they can do. If she was cool I wouldn't have a problem with it but obviously that is NOT the case. lol

Mrs. Why's picture

Our BM is pretty good at trying to guilt my DH into beliving it's about the kids. Eventhough he knows it's not, and she is just trying to control and stay in his face.

oldone's picture

"Some x's must go as far as having zero contact unless a child is in the emergency room or a death in the family."

And some don't even notify when there was a death of one of their children. BM did not notify DH of SS35's death and funeral. She did put his name in the obituary so it looked like he just didn't show up for the funeral. Just when you think a person cannot go any lower some of them will surprise you.