Does anyone know the cure for verbal diarrhea?
If so, can you come over and give my Skids a double dose each? I swear to God, if I have to hear any more inane chatter today, I might just go nuts. Every five seconds, I hear, "Hey dad, look at me (jump jump jump)," or, "Hey dad, did you like that last commercial? Would you like to have something like that?" "Hey dad, hey dad, hey dad, hey dad hey dad..." Kill. Me. Oh! There they go again! "Hey dad, I'm going to put my underwear on my head (giggle giggle)." Hey kids, can you shut the f up?!? Oh, and P.S. stay out of my bedroom! Oh, and P.S. SS11, can you maybe think of something else to do besides follow DH around all day every day like a lost gas station dog? And can you also not wake up at midnight and come hang out outside the bedroom door whilst DH and I do it, then wait until afterward to make up some crap about having a nightmare that you don't remember, but you just can't go back to sleep? Oh, and SS9, do you think you can stop being lazy enough to wet the bed because you don't feel like getting up and going to the bathroom? Because really, I don't know any other 9 year olds who still do that. And BTW, there IS such a thing as being too helpful, maybe most times I like doing things for myself and I really REALLY don't need your help whatsoever and neither does DH? I mean, I know, SS11, that you THINK you know how to use jumper cables, but really you DON'T. And then, can you two also stop having meltdowns when you don't get your way? I don't have a problem with you being grounded all weekend long, please believe me, it'll make my weekend more peaceful. I'm just sayin'.