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Do you think this job is good enough?

StepDrama's picture

First of all, TIA for any comments I receive Smile

We have my BS8, SD9 and SD12. The girls are 50/50 and my son is 75/25 (25% with his dad). My DH works at a home improvement store, you all would know it, and is a department manager making $17.50 per hour full time. He keeps getting passed over for an assistant manager position in other stores, and other managers that are worse than him are even getting them, it is crazy. I keep telling him after almost 7 years of working with this company, when will you move on? They obviously aren't going to promote you out of the store, because they want to keep you right where you are. That's not right! He was an electrician back when he was with his ex and we have this feeling that they want to keep him in the electrical department.

I do have an office/phone sales/customer service/tech support job and I go to school but it doesn't pay much. It doesn't take away from the fact that I would like him to make more.

Anyways... I keep feeling like I wish he were making more money, or doing something like a trade that could bring a lot to the table such as great benefits, great retirement down the line etc and I don't think he really thinking.

And what if he did become a "manager" making 50,000-65,000 or whatever and got fired later? It would be impossible to find another position in that same industry. He would have to work from the ground up AGAIN making nothing! AGAIN.

Am I wrong? Do you guys think he is taking the wrong path? He is 40 this year, so I get that he doesn't want to go back to being an electrician (I guess) but I don't want to live in an apartment forever, paycheck to paycheck, with credit card debt that i cant keep up with. I see so many people that have what they need and we just dont.

Any thoughts on this? should i be telling my husband anything?

Northwoods's picture

It depends on his credentials and experience but if he is maintenance savvy and a can-do guy there may be better paying options. Any town of small size up to cities have hospitals. There are quite a few positions in maintenance etc that would probably pay better plus come with good benefits. Might be worth looking into. Good luck!

MidwestStepmom's picture

I'm only 27, but I'm a retail manager. I've been an assistant store manager for three big box stores, you would know them. My advice is that he is prob getting passed up for promotions because there is some form of leadership quality he needs to improve on and maybe hasn't embraced it yet. Or there is office politics. Either way, your not getting the "full" story because you are only hearing what your husband says.

So for the past 7 years, I have missed every holiday and worked 90% of weekends. This decision should be on your dh and he want to do with his like. 50-60k is pocket change when it comes to retail management. When I get my next promotion (if I want to stay at store level) I'm looking at 100k a year. So him being able to find another job at that pay is pretty easy.

I'm lucky in the sense that my current employer has it's head quarters in my home town, so I'm looking to go corporate. Has your husband thought if that?

All in all, retail can burn a person out, ask what he wants.

StepDrama's picture

Thank you for the insight!!!
I'll ask and I wasn't sure how much he would make, I just couldn't imagine it being a ridiculous amount more. I live in CA too so not in the boonies Wink
I think corporate is out of state but he's considered the distribution centers. Interviewed at one and didn't get it.
Hopefully it's office politics. Everyone says its this store. A person will transfer out laterally and then get promoted its happened repeatedly. But if u work at this store u don't get the same happy ending. He has to transfer or move careers.

Calypso1977's picture

good points.
when i was a retail manager, when i divided my salary by the number of hours i worked, i made less than my staffers.

when you are management/salary they can work you as much as tehy want (or need to) and you dont get extra. If someone banged out for the night shift, guess who had to stick around and close if i couldnt find a fill in?

Stormyweather's picture

My ex husband was like this when we were married.... Fast forward to now ( I'm remarried and he isn't even dating) and he got retrenched from the job he hated when he was married to me but refused to make himself more employable ( I'm a professional teacher)... And now he is pushing trolleys!!!!!!!!

I am just sooooo greatful I divorced him because imagine my life now as I would be supporting him due to His lack of ambition

StepDrama's picture

Yeah I'm not trying to sound like all I care about is $$$ or anything, this is the least of our problems really but I do wnt him to be more ambitious. It just says to me that he doesn't take great value in growing our family and keeping us comfortable.
He's even said "it's not uncommon for woman to make more than men so why don't you make more $, at least I make more than you do" sure not by much. And soon I will be promoted at my job.

So yeah I would hate to leave because of this. I recently threatened to leave over other things so who knows what will happen. Thank you for your reply

Stormyweather's picture

In my opinion you have every right to feel frustrated at the lack of dollars he makes (coming from a lack of drive from your DH)

I mean order for us women to feel attracted to our mates we must feel safe and secure and if you are the main bread winner,so how can you contine to remain attracted to a man who likes being taken care of by a woman?? Call me old fashioned ( and I'm an independent professional woman myself...self made) but over the years I lost my attraction for my then H... Now ex... As his attitude filtered through to other aspects of our marriage and even the Sex (from him) stopped. Nah... It's more than the money... It's the total lack of drive, self respect and wanting to provide for his family ( instead relying on his wife's ability to do that)....

Meanwhile my ex never went without; he didn't go without his beer, working out, keeping fit etc!!

Disneyfan's picture


Maybe the man is content with his job and life. As long as he makes enough to help support his kids, cover his share of the bills and has retirement, he's fine.

StepDrama's picture

When I got with him he said this was temporary before going back to being an apprentice as an electrician. I also worked there but left as planned. I continued my education, got a better job with office experience and he didn't hold up his end of the deal.

I don't go around chasing rich guys. I don't need a lot, just what I need.

MidwestStepmom's picture

Agreed. I believe in each partner pulling their own weight. Granted my husband makes more then me, but he's also 5 years older then me. I'm on track to stay at the same pace to make as much as him.

If a person is not brining in the bacon they should not complain about the job. In my opinion.

StepDrama's picture

i agree. My husband is 40 in November and I am only 26. By the time I'm his age I'll probably have multiple degrees and be making way more money. I just want him to up the ante a bit and really just trying to get opinions on if his job is seen as one with a good out look. Or if people have tips on how to motivate him to make a life change. I really want to have a positive influence on him and not break him down.

MidwestStepmom's picture

Tip: you can try to motivate him all you want, but if he is not ready then all that motivation will go nowhere. To be honest with you, at 40 he should be at minimum at store manager by now at a big box. Since he is not, then there might be some underlying motivation issues of his own.

This is all just my opinion, this is what I would assess an employee if I was just given written information. Has he thought of switching to a different retailer? That's how he can make large income jumps. Everytime I changed companies I average 10k salary increase.

Calypso1977's picture

if he's a licensed electrician (i assume he's maintained his license?) than yes, he could make a lot more. of course, his ex would make a lot more in CS too - maybe that's why he doesnt desire to make more?

he could get a job with a union and make good. he could also work for the local school/town - most have a facilities department that employs electricians. he'd get a nice pension and benefits too.

hereiam's picture

Have you asked him what path he would like to take and what his goals are? Has he said he does not want to go back to being an electrician, in any capacity?

Maybe he actually likes what he is doing now? Is that not important to you?

My husband had a job once that paid more than he had ever made before; he hated it and was miserable. I'd rather he be happy and make less.

I think the two of you should sit down and talk about your goals as a family and the best way to get there as a couple.

StepDrama's picture

His happiness is important to me and I always lead these conversations with that when I talk to him about this, but there shouldn't be anything wrong with wanting a husband to find a job in his desired field that makes it possible for us to have a house and pay for things without credit cards. I plan on making more after I graduate in the spring and possibly next month I could be making Just about as much as him because I know for a fact I'm getting promoted at my job.

The talk always leads to him doing the rat race one more time, until another position gets passed over and then he will look for a different job and then he never does.

He just doesn't follow through with his promises. With this, with the skids or the ex lol

furkidsforme's picture

If he did indeed say anything along the lines of "it's not uncommon for woman to make more than men so why don't you make more $, at least I make more than you do" that tells me he's not mentally mature enough to even be considered for management.

I would bet what he calls "office politics" I (as a business owner) might call poor work ethic, not being a team player, or not being a company man. (A company man always makes sure the company looks good to the customer or consumer, even if that is NOT how they personally happen to be feeling at the moment.)

I have plenty of employees who whine when they get passed over for a promotion. Those also tend to be the employees who fail to notice that they don't ever go above and beyond, they don't self motivate, they don't problem solve, and they don't make themselves indispensable to me.

Also- I would bet your DH was not a licensed electrician, but rather an apprentice. There's no reason a licensed electrician would be working at a Home Depot or Lowes for chump change when they could be out making big bucks and making their own hours. Either he exaggerated to impress you, or something happened and he lost his license.

StepDrama's picture

You are right, he was not licensed, he was an apprentice and worked with several companies in San Diego. He didn't pass the test to become licensed just barely and instead of retaking it he continued to work for the companies as they kept him employed. Then the jobs were done and he went to work for hotels then he got divorced and fired from a hotel from damaging a tree and got unemployment, then he ended up where he is now.

While I knew where he worked when I met him, he told me at the time he didn't want to stay there In the beginning and he had more ambition.

I totally get what you are saying. I just think that he is all of the things you mention. He works so hard and I think it's because of how hard he's used to working. He's definitely worth more than what they are providing him.

This one lady the promoted out of the store is the biggest bitch ever and is no help to her team. Like if she becomes your manager it's known that you will be getting less help. So, we just don't get why she would get it, and she didn't even have to interview. Lol

StepDrama's picture

I should also point out that we are going on vacation next week and I put all bookings on my credit card so far because I have the highest limits. Over $2,000 has been charged. He hasn't paid for anything. We consider everything to be shared however if we were to break up, I'm liable for all of this debt, I pay for so much because I do all the running around moms so often do so I swipe my card. He would also expect me to cover the additional vacation expenses I'll bet because of his line of credit. He doesn't want it to get above a certain amount to affect his credit.