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Divorce and Loans/Debt

Coco72's picture

I'm wondering if and what recourse we have in this situation:

FH and BM separated due to her infidelity, when FH left he found out that bills had not been being paid, they were about $10,000 behind on the mortgage, vehicle loans, credit cards, etc. When he left he contacted the creditors of the bills that he was taking and set up payment arrangements, he is now fully caught up. Their divorce was finally finalized a couple months ago, in the divorce the debt was divided. Yesterday I tried logging on to the bank where FH's truck is financed, to make a payment, and I couldn't log in, the password had been changed, when I tried to retrieve the password added security questions had been added. I called and tried to talk to Customer Service, apparently I had been removed as an authorized person, and the address and phone number on the account had been changed, all to BM's info. She did this 2 weeks after the divorce was final. I called FH and let him know, he called the bank and changed everything back, we went in and changed our user name, passwords, everything we could. But her name is still on the note, because the vehicle was leased while they were married. His credit is not strong enough at this point to get it refinanced in just his name. We have the divorce decree stating that the truck is his property and financial responsibility.

What can we do to make sure that she doesn't just contact the bank and change stuff again? Is this against the law? Is there something we can file with the court? Has anyone else had a similar experience, and if so what did you do?

beebeel's picture

He needs to find another cosigner and get that truck out of her name. Or he needs to trade it in for something he can afford without a cosigner.

ESMOD's picture

What would be her intent in getting the information changed? Is it because she wants to be able to keep track of if he is making his payments in a timely manner because it also impacts HER credit?

The thing is that even if a debt is assigned to one party or another, the creditor is still going to hold both parties responsible for payment. Now, the person who is on the note, but was deemed "not responsible" by the court can take the responsible party to court for damages.. but their credit can still be hurt by this.

Since she IS legally responsible to this creditor per the agreement she signed, unless the lease company is willing to release her from the lease, I don't think you can block her from getting information on the lease account. In fact, she should probably be able to get this information so that she would be able to prevent bad credit if your SO stops pmt.

Coco72's picture

A normal sane person would do those things, knowing if he misses a payment it is going to impact her, she is not that person. If that was truly the reason, why would she change passwords and add security questions? Why would I be removed? She does these backhanded, spiteful things because she is not allowed to contact us, per a restraining order, and she can not drive by our house, or where we work, because we have a no trespassing order. She is doing this to be a nuisance.

She does not care about her credit, she can not even get a cell phone in her own name.

ESMOD's picture

I don't get where her access changes anything for her though. It's not like your SO doesn't know he has that obligation and won't pay it.

I guess I don't see what payout she gets from doing this.

twoviewpoints's picture

Which probably explains the 'why'. You shouldn't be an authorized person to an account that has her and DF names on it. He should not have been allowed to authorize a third party without her consent.

Regardless of what the divorce decree assigned to who, her name remains on the note and it is still legally her responsibility until her name is removed and/or loan is paid off in full.

She hates her ex (maybe you too). She can, she did. I'm actually surprised the bank spoke to you at all. You are not named on the loan. Your DF yes, you no.

She's obviously very angry and she intends to let ex and you know it. This is likely not her first nor last trick up her sleeve. Stay on guard.

Lucky you, you get a vindictive high conflict BM. Sad

Coco72's picture

The bank actually were the ones that suggested that I be an authorized person on the account.

ESMOD's picture

I'm fairly certain that you were given permission for them to just discuss the account with them. You don't have any ability to actually impact the debt relationship by making changes to the account. It's not an "authorized user" like you would have with a credit card.

Since this is some territorial issue she is having, I would not give your name to the bank as someone that can discuss this account with them. It really isn't necessary in the end. What I would do is that I would know his password and login information. Then you can login "as him" to make payments or whatever. If there ever comes a time when someone needs to call in and talk with them about the account (only reason for you to be an authorized person on the account).. just have him there with you to confirm his identity then he can hand you the phone so you can discuss whatever is needed. (or do a 3 way call)

In this situation with a high conflict EX... I would do my best to not cause an issue. No reason that your name has to be listed on the account anywhere. You can make pmts or he can handle his own business without that being needed.

Coco72's picture

You are correct, I did not have the ability to make changes, nor do I want to. I was authorized to make a payment or ask a question if I saw something on the bill, there was once a returned check fee charge, it was a mistake. I rarely call, actually only twice, the returned check charge and yesterday when I couldn't log in.

I was just hoping for a way, without having to get rid of the truck, that we could stop this issue from happening, because right now she could just contact the bank and change everything again, and when we go to make the next payment we would be in the same boat.

It's just an annoying hassle.

ESMOD's picture

You don't need to log into that account to make a payment. You could also use the bill pay service with your bank accounts. In any case.. you don't need to be "on" the account to log in if you have his credentials.

As far as calling in if you see an issue, you can usually also handle this stuff via email or messages to customer service. So, that is also a route you can use if you have his login information.

If she continues to change the information, I might write a letter to the lender and include a copy of his divorce decree that states that HE is responsible for payments and has "ownership" of the car. Ask that they not change the login information for anyone but HIM. She can call the bank if she chooses to inquire of the status (because she is entitled to know about the account as her name is still on it). He may be able to stop her from changing the login information though.

Cover1W's picture

I had a similar problem when I divorced, my ex was supposed to (in divorce decree) pay off his (small) amount of money on the joint card and then cancel it by X date.

When I went to buy a house with now DH, I saw the card on my credit, three years later, was STILL active. NOPE.

I tried cancelling the card, at least he had paid it off and nothing was delinquent, but all the passwords, contact information and even address had been changed - and he hadn't moved. The initial person I spoke with was not helping much, but once I mentioned that I would gladly send them a copy of the final divorce decree showing that the card was not to be in existence any longer, a supervisor cancelled it for me.

ESMOD's picture

With regards to a revolving credit card or account, if there are two joint applicants on the account, either may ask that the card be canceled for further use. both will be held liable for any existing balance and it must be paid off according to the lending agreement terms.

So, there should have been no need for "him" to cancel it as you should have been able to do that even without his agreement or consent. Now, that still meant you were still legally responsible for the debt if he didn't pay... but at least you could limit future debt on that card!

Cover1W's picture

Yes, true. BUT I couldn't prove I was an owner of the card as all the passwords/hints/mailing address, etc. had been changed. It was a call that just made me crazy as esp. the mailing address had been changed!

ESMOD's picture

I guess it might have taken you providing some sort of ID that you were in fact, the co-owner of the account.

When my EX and I split, I closed all joint accounts immediately and that was a good thing since my EX did try to steal some money I had just gotten as a bonus from my job in a joint savings account. (The DAY I told him i wanted a divorce he took it. I went the next day and blew it into him and he gave the money

beebeel's picture

I would stop worrying about why bm does these things and start pressuring your boyfriend to get rid of that truck and any other lingering financial ties to her.

blueskies4me's picture

Do NOT use YOUR money for any of this BS.

Also, the court system can divide the debts and tell Biowhore to pay but if she opts not to, your FH is screwed.

marblefawn's picture

Ditch the truck and you'll be one step closer to having her shut out of your lives. You don't need this hassle of having your credit intertwined.

Oldmom's picture

If I am reading this correctly the ex changed the ability to log in under his info and make a payment?

This would be concerning since if he can't pay through the system he normally used he could default therefore allowing her to make a payment and subsequently repossess the truck.

I would change all the info t the bank to things she wold have no way of knowing and add additional security measures so she can't change anything. We had to do that with DH's ex.

Acratopotes's picture

you say FH - I say do not marry this man until all his marital debt is paid off and until there's no reason for BM to be involved in his financial matters..

Protect your own things, do not combine accounts, keep your money separately, do not get involved with anything financial matters in his name, never sign anything for him, do not accept signing authority on his accounts, stay separate on these matters, till his debt is paid of... and until you legally marry