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Did your BM "trick" their kids' dad's into getting them pregnant?

minerva385's picture

I've been hearing some stories lately about our BM. The stories I hear are that BM tricked Hubby into getting her pregnant. What I'm hearing is that she did this because my husbands family is fairly well off. Not filthy rich by any means, but much better off than anyone in her family could ever hope to be! I mean they own their own home and have both had steady employment for 40+ years...something BM probably will never be able to do and no one in her family can ever claim (she is and comes from a welfare family).

Anyways, I was just wondering if anyone else had this experience? Do you think your BM's "tricked" your SO into getting pregnant or got pregnant on purpose? What do you think they hoped to gain by this? What do you think of the BM that does this on purpose???

paganmomma's picture

DH's BMs are the same way. I don't get it. How can it only be your kid but someone else can help pay for him?

DISbelief's picture

Well, if you ask DH, SS was planned. But since I have known her she has "planned" on having kids with 3 more men. One of which succeeded in getting her pregnant, then left her and she had an abortion. So YES, I think she gets pregnant just to TRAP men. But I also think she is smart about it, and convinces these guys that it is a great idea, and they will be a happy little family together. DH is just the only one that fell for it long enough to see her through the pregnancy. He didn't realize what he had done until SS was a few months old. NOT THAT HE WOULD EVER TAKE IT BACK. SS is a great kid. But he will admit that he had a kid with the wrong woman. And she led him to believe she would be a fabulous and responsible mother. HA, what a load that was!!!


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

DISbelief's picture

Oh, wait... one of those guys she was actually trying to "trick" into it... she tells me of how she used to throw her BC pills away and tell him that she was taking them. This was about THIS TIME last year, that guy now lives in the Phillipeans, with his WIFE, and has a baby on the way. Can you imagine if he DID knock her up, what a mess that would be!


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

vanrocksout's picture

BM was sleeping with half the town including DH when she got pregnant. Three of them had tests done and lucky DH got stuck with the bill. However he could have been careful as well. It takes two to tango.

DISbelief's picture

OH, I agree with that too! I always ask DH, WHY DIDN'T YOU WRAP IT UP!?!?!? Geeeezzzz....


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

NachoMama's picture

This is a constant comment at our house! BM saw my DH coming from a mile away...but it takes two and now he (and I...grrr) is paying for it!

****I can do bad all by myself****

Rags's picture

Before our son (my SS-18) leaves the house with his friends he has to repeat THE mantra ...... "No glove, no love"

Many heartbreaking situations could be avoided with the mantra or the even more powerful "keep the peckers in the pants and the labia in the leotards".

Best regards,

stepof 1nitemare's picture

Bm in my case did trick DH into getting her pregnant. She left him as soon as SD was born for a woman.. She only use him to get pregnant so she and her girlfriend could have a baby.. He was not from the town she was so he had no clue that she was lesbian. After a couple months dating she was pregnant, and now he has a nice child support payment to show for her deceit.. Why do women trap men for babies?? Are there no men out there willing to father a baby so some women are forced to trick men into it??? I just dont get the whole concept.

If the Broom Fits, Ride It!!!!!

agentMuse's picture

My DH and BM were together 3 months when she got pregnant (it was not going well, they were breaking up, blabla) ...she had told him she was on birth control, but then admitted to him she was flushing the pills down the toilet instead of taking them, in order to get pregnant...and even after he told her to get an abortion, she decided to keep it because she thought he would stay...he left her when baby was 3 months old, she then told him had she known he would not have grown to love her and the family, she would not have had a baby with him...this from a woman in her mid 30ties...go figure...( i think she did it because she loved dh (she cried when she found out he married me, 3 yrars after they broke up...) and because she knows he will always work hard and give her money(her other kids daddy works under the table to avoid CS)

But in her defense, he was the one dating a woman 6 years older who had other kids, and took her in when she had no other place to go, who had no job and still doesnt because she is lazy, much as you want to be mad at her, you gotta wonder what the heck was going thru his mind at the time...

belleboudeuse's picture

Yes, though they were married at the time. When they got married, they agreed to wait 5 years before having kids so that they could have a married relationship for a while before kids came along. But then she decided to stop taking the pill and got pregnant within a year. Once she got pregnant, sex ground to an almost complete halt (and it was limping along even before that) so DH thinks she decided to get pregnant so she could stop having sex altogether. DH also says he's pretty sure that if they had waited the 5 years, he would have ended it before they had kids, because they were already seeing a counselor by the time BM got pregnant.



You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

MarriedwithChild's picture

Noted that my DH "stated" that BM (ummm, was?) on the ovu- or nuvo ring thing...
I asked him just how the hell she all of a sudden became magically prego and he THOUGHT (LMAO) that his penis was so large it knocked it around....LMFAO

That's like thinking you can get preggo from sperm being on your face or something! (graphic)

Get this too: DH NEVER (yeah) saw the damn birth control device removed after Grizzly became preggo and under my "revelation" never understood what happened to the 'device'...?????!

Can you say, "Had the thing taken out without DH knowing to become pregnant?" OMG! How gullible can you get?

And they want to get rid of sex- education?!

stepmom008's picture

*SPLUUUUURT* LMAO as I wipe mashed potatoes from my monitor - that is HILARIOUS!!!

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

dsngrl's picture

I was on the nuva ring.. if she was on the nuva ring, he can feel that it is in there.. the only way it doesnt work is if she left it in for longer than 4 weeks. It's amazing how some guys dont have a clue as to what kind of birth control their SO's are on or how it works? That is their own damn fault then.

JustAnotherSM's picture

Same story here. BM was supposedly on the pill when she and DH hooked up. BM's sister just had baby #2 and BM was sooooo jealous of how cute the baby was. After just 2 months of dating, BM ended up pregnant! DH tried to the right thing by marrying her. They only knew each other 7 months when they got married. DH told me that as soon as they got married, she started using their child as a pawn - "If you don't do whatever I say, I'm never gonna let you see your kid again." She cheated on DH less than 1 year into their marriage and filed for divorce soon after.

TheWife's picture

I don't believe she trapped him at all. Actually, I think he probably wanted a kid because all his sisters had kids already.

Now he knows: Be carefuuuullll what you wish fooooorrr...

~*~When you kiss ass, your breath smells like sh*t~*~

stepmom31's picture

DH married BM only because she was pregnant and he wanted to do the right thing. He soon figured out that she mainly wanted a way out of her father's house.

imagr8tma's picture

Well, SD was planned by BM. DH and her had previoulsy had discussions about marriage... and he was not quite ready to take that step in their relationship..... she decided to go off birth control without discussing it with him. Then when she got pregnant - she told him she went off three months prior and had explained it to him but DH says he never discussed that with her and felt they were not ready for a child. After that she asked again to get married - and it didn't materialize - DH says he just didn't feel comfortable with taking that step. So she moved back to her home state and still continued to try to get him to marry her.

They never took that step towards marriage - however DH has done everything he could to remain in SD's life. BM literally hates it because he did move on and marry after their relationship ended. So it has been a battle for him to see and interact with his daughter - court ordered visitation. I guess in her opinion it is not fair he married and she has not married.

********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************

GoldenTiger's picture

DH & BM were married, but DH was still a student & worked full time to barely support their apartment. They had discussed having a baby & he had made it clear that he was not ready & that they should wait a bit longer.

BM went off the pill w/o telling him or discussing any further & SD was born. DH ended up quitting college to work FT & overtime to support his new family.

It wasn't until many years later that he went back & finished his degree.

I think she just wanted a baby & didn't give a crap what he wanted. Seems to have been a recurring theme in that marriage & still tries to persist to this day.

Amazed's picture

he got her pregnant in hopes of improving the marriage.

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

Rainbow.Bright's picture

I don't understand how a man could be 'tricked' into procreation. The real question is, "Was your man stupid enough to screw a money grubbing whore and place 100% of the contraception responsibility on her?" Yes, i think 95% of the forum could raise their hands on that one.

DISbelief's picture

HAHAHAH, Mine sure was!!!

But unless BM's are tossing their pills, or poking holes in the contraceptives, I get what you are saying. I think it was the 5th grade they taught us that sex=babies. I wouldn't say BM tricked DH into getting her pregnant, but she certainly had him fooled that she was ready, and responsible enough to be a mom... he is 6 years old and she is still not responsible enough!!


~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ Wink

Silver42's picture

I agree but a woman shouldn't tell a man she is on birth control when she really isn't. When I first met my BF (before we were exclusive) his ex tricked him into getting her pregnant because she thought she could get him back. He was stupid for sleeping with her again after they broke up but she is still wrong and immature to lie about something like that. It has caused a lot of stress in our lives that should not be here.

Rainbow.Bright's picture

That's dishonesty on her part and obviously very wrong. However, men are notoriously lazy when it comes to contraception. They don't like using the only method they personally have control over, codoms that they buy, keep and use themselves. She can't poke a hole in it when he's got control over them either. So, there is a way, they just don't want to.

The male contraceptive is on the horizon. It has the potential to revolutionalize America, in my opinion. Males and females will be on the same playing field as far as contraceptives and decisions about preventing unwanted pregnancy. So if there are still complaints and finger pointing after that, I'm going to really be a bitch and have noooooo sympathy at that point.

Amazed's picture

OMG I was on the phone w/ an insurance claims rep and just burst out laughing right in her ear after reading this:)
"I would have been dipping my tool in rubber cement and wrapping it in Saran Wrap after the first one"

"Venting without the desire to look within and improve your situation is simply venting to hear yourself bitch."

..."I'm not mean, you're just a sissy."

"If they sold clues at Walmart,I'd be first in line to get one for DH" ~the lovely Jbee~

Most Evil's picture

Our BM's 'birth control pills didn't work' - even though she was 25 and did not understand that you have to take them every day, dur! But they never got along and had a lot of drama even dating, so why was he screwing her anyway?

He says he doesn't know, only that she is, I mean WAS!, really hot and he was sort of a 'late bloomer' who never dated til after the military - too shy. Sad
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

Snowbunny's picture


pandalove984's picture

My DH was "tricked" as well. BM and DH would have a fight, which happened a lot in their relationship, and would break up. Of course when they ended up getting back together, what happens? Make up sex of course! So BM would stop taking her pills thinking that if she got pregnant DH would stay with her no matter what. Needless to say this happened TWICE and here I am today with an adoring loving husband and 2 annoying skids. But I definitely do agree with many of you- it does take 2 to tango!! Which I have said to DH as well, to which I get the answer "those were my stupid days." He's smart in every other area of his life, why couldn't he just wrap it up even if they were his "stupid days?" Especially since he knew BM was off with other guys at the same time, including his former employer??

steppingover's picture

My bm was caught at a family gathering by fiance's mom telling one of her friends that she was going to get pregnant so he would have to marry her. She was caught telling a family friend.

minerva385's picture


Smonster's picture

Same here Crayon. BM and DH had three, youngest was 10. The marriage was failing and BM thought she would "save" the marriage if she had another baby. Although they had agreed 3 was enough. DH said he should have known something was up when she wanted to have sex, and as you say, it turned out to be for breeding purposes only.

Kb3Hooah's picture

Do you think your BM's "tricked" your SO into getting pregnant or got pregnant on purpose?

-------------> BM didn't with BF, but I believe she did with her current hubby before they were married.

What do you think they hoped to gain by this?

--------------> In hopes to keep him in her life

What do you think of the BM that does this on purpose???

------------> I don't condone it, but I have no real opinion towards BM on this issue. I'm certainly happy things worked out the way they did.

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

epgr's picture

My husband was leaving, never gonna speak to BM again, he told her and she said "I'M PREGNANT".. so he didnt leave and tried to work it out.. she never allowed him to go to drs appts with her, then next thing you know she was a little over a month overdue! She told her best friend it was the only way to keep him, and she stopped taking her BC pills after she told him she was preg.
with the 2nd one he was a little confused on her being preg. they had sex once in 6 months, he does not think the kid is biologically his, but isnt willing to get a dna test.. she will always be his. My husband knows that she had a boyfriend at the time, she even gave her bf her number, BM got mad cuz my husband answered the phone and told her bf she was married... ?? go figure.

Nemo's picture


****There are 3 sides to every story. Yours, mine, and the truth.**** -THE WIFE

lertie_83's picture

Our BM was "on the pill" like most of yours. They broke up, she came around to his house & said I'm pregnant - now we have to get married...

He begged her to get an abortion but she still now has the thoughts that one day they will be a happy family. SD is 3 and BM is still waiting for him, her reaction when we get pregnant (we're about to start trying) will be PRICELESS

leladawn's picture

Our BM has tricked 3 different men into having 5 kids. Its so odd how "the pill" failed for her with these 3 men who all have steady jobs with good incomes. What's even more incredible is how "the pill" was good and faithful to her during all those times that she slept around with druggies, randoms, or various other non "cha-ching" guys... Hmmmmmm...

"You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses." Ziggy

stepmasochist's picture

Our BM has been pregnant at least five times by four different men. She's had four kids. Two of which are DH's, one is my SD that he has custody of and we have no idea who her father is. The fourth child is with a guy, an ex-con btw, but can hold a decent paying blue collar job.

The fifth - she miscarried, that one was the result of a druggie BF. And she miscarried after begging DH to take her back and she was pregnant with a loser junkie's baby and probably shooting up herself at the time. What a freak! I'm surprised she doesn't have 20 more kids. All of this and she's only 26 and had an IUD two of those years! I guess when you start lying about your age and picking up sailors at 14 - that's what happens. Her parents should be shot.

becarefulwhatuwish4's picture

DH didn't want kids at all! DH was not only trapped into having SD when relationship wasn't going so well (she was finally caught with a calendar that had men's initials on the days she was hooking up) but he was strapped with the responsibility of the SS#1 with the 1st ex when he isn't his kid. He knows she cheated and he was her husband at the time so it was assumed it was his - although it's never been proven, but it is suspected by everyone that he is not DH's. DH did the right thing - he got custody and raised him. The unfortunate part is that after he got his first divorce, he ended up choosing to marry BM#2 because she was prego with SS#2. She is the bain of our existence now. And the trickery of SD 15 yrs ago is why I ended up here. Smile
My DH actually isn't as intimate with me as he wants to be (or that I want him to be I should say) because he's nervous that I would do the same thing.

stepmasochist's picture

Our BM did it. Her mom did it.

BM got preggo by DH. He didn't marry her. She went off and married another military man. While he was away, she slept with some guy and got pregnant by him. I'm guessing he was military as well. But we have no clue who the father is. DH has custody of that kid now too.

They should print a friggin' pamphlet about this and hand it out to all new recruits. Poor saps.

Marie09's picture

For the most part....DH & BM have an odd situation. BM was dating DH's BFF, CC, who ended up dying of cancer UNEXPECTEDLY. Well BM & DH mourned together and started sleeping together (I know SUPER weird). She told him she was on BC and dumbass believed her and 3 mos into she got PG. He married her a year later (even though he cheated on her while she was PG with SS). Then they had another slip up and here came the other SS.

But you know he's the jackass who didnt protect himself!!! I tell him all the time that he should've thought and I'm not gonna feel sorry for him b/c he's the one who slept with her!!

Elizabeth's picture

I don't know. BM was fairly young and I think she wanted to have a man to support her. But I'm not sure if she "tricked" DH or he was just stupid, or both. He claims he only had sex with her twice and then was breaking up with her and she told him she was pregnant. Considering that DH was 37 at the time and had NO previous kids but LOTS of previous relationships, I find it a little beyond belief that the woman would have gotten pregnant if she WAS on birth control. Again, don't know if she was just stupid or trying to trap him? DH and I don't discuss his sex life with his previous wife, unless he volunteers it and then usually I'm sprinting from the room as fast as I can!

TheOtherMom's picture

Have you ever heard that birth control is not affordable?
That was BM's excuse.
DH married her like an old fashioned idiot.
BM likes to throw to DH that she was his first - wife and mother of kids, not first sexual experience.
THAT's what I am jealous of. Something that can't be fixed.

stepmasochist's picture

I'm with Elizabeth. As effed up as BM is, as much of a liar as she is, I don't know if she intended to get pregnant by DH. She was veeeeerrrry young and wanted away from her parents. DH was fairly young and very stupid.

His best friend has told me very recently as a matter of fact, that DH and BM were together twice and the two of them, DH and his friend went over to her house so DH could break up with her when she told him she was pregnant. The friend said, "We looked at each, he didn't say a word and we just turned around and left and got drunk." LOL!

iwishyouwould's picture

There is a pill for men. I dont remember what its called though, and its not mainstream, either.

I wouldnt say bm tricked H, necessarily. She told him she was on BC and then he didnt use a condom. Dumb teenage H. Not too much trick to it when you dont put a hat on it knowing that the girl's got a two year old running around somewhere.

MamaBecky's picture

Both of my SD's were tricks so to speak. BM#1 and DH were casually dating and on again off again.....while they were off BM went off of the pill and failed to mention this fact when they went back on again.
BM#2 was 8 years later. DH had been living with BM#2 in all of her infertile glory for 6 years. She went to the dr. and got fertility meds without telling him. He noticed that she was taking prenatals and asked why....she said they are just multivitamins. He should have trusted his suspicion but after 6 yrs he thought no way! She ended up pregnant. She was 6mo. pregnant when there relationship ended. She did the same thing to her current DH and ended up with twins! She told me not to long ago that she is now on bc and that she doesn't like it because it makes her fat. LOL Pregnancy doesn't? Twins was more then she bargained for though so maybe she has learned her lesson.

cnd62107's picture

no, SD6 was totally planned and FH and i both believe that she is the sole reason he and BM were ever destined to cross paths. but what BM did do was beg and try to get FH to give her another baby as their marriage was falling apart. she has some sort of cervical problem...i dont know or care to know the details but a mutual friend of both BMs and ours said that her disease is a stage three and once it progresses to a stage four she will be sterile. so she was desperate and stopped taking her pills in the last few months they were together but THANK GOD FH was smart enough to wear condoms even though he hated them and just wished she was trustworthy. he was blindsided by her actually leaving and planned to work through things even though they had been having problems...but he says something just told him another baby with her was a bad idea. one of his best decisons IMO!

T.O.'s picture

Now I know why Trojan has a disclaimer hahaha ... they were casually dating on and off for a while and had broken up. One drunken night after seeing each other again had last one go @ it ... FDH gets a call 3 mths later ... you're gonna be a father, and too bad that you don't want it. So he finally swolled his digust of her to see his SS be born, tried to make things work for sake of baby .. .she kept sleeping around with the town & before SS was 1 that was it.
Guess the b*tch never heard of the morning after pill ... oooorrrr she wanted to try and trap him .. as she kept going after him until we moved in together ... she got the point and that's when she took him to court.

skylarksms's picture

Although she did not "trick" him, per se. She would NOT allow him to use a condom (against her religion). So she got pregnant when she was 16. She refused to allow DNA testing and guilted H into going along with it. He tried to make it work and couldn't so he left (or got thrown out, whichever).

About 8 months later, she came to his door, crying, big as a house, pregnant again. She said it was his. But she had also admitted to cheating on him with three other guys. He never got testing done then either. Dumbass.

She had plenty of time to notify him that she was pregnant again. Why did she wait so long? My theory is that she was trying to make it work with one of her flings and it didn't so she went back to the guy she KNEW was good for the CS!

BTW, BM's mother told my MIL that BM was going around for YEARS laughing to people about how she was making H pay for kids that weren't even his. :jawdrop:

simifan's picture

BM was supposed to be on the pill,but seemingly got pregnant. Ya know, I never asked what she told him, I'll have to ask when DH gets home. Anyways, he knew what kind of girl she was, he's at fault he should have worn a condom, so he was sure.

skylarksms's picture

Although I wouldn't doubt that the BM lied, I DO have to say that I was on the pill for the first two months of my pregnancy with DS. [Nobody had told ME about BC and antibiotics not liking each other] They told me if he was a boy, he'd probably be deformed because of the hormones in the pill.

Luckily, that was NOT true!

mom2five's picture

No. She didn't trick him. However, their first baby was a surprise. They weren't trying to get pregnant. The second was planned.

They loved each other and were anxious to start a family just like so many young couples. Neither one of them saw divorce as even a remote possibility back then.

Whateva's picture

I don't necessarily feel that BM tricked my BF, I do however think she manipulated him into having a 2nd child when their marriage was clearly in crisis mode. I do think she is one of those women in denial and think that having a child will keep a man and that a child makes life all better..yeah right. I get pissed silently at him sometimes for not having the balls to stress NOT having a 2nd child while their marriage was close to ending, he now pays a shit load of child support even though he get them regularly so now :Me" the new woman in his life have to deal with careless mistakes. I think our society is so screwed because women can have babies even against the fathers will and yet the father still have to pay. ..does not seem like a fair exchange to me.


Loch Ness's picture

BM (aka Slut Guts and Dumb Dumb) has openly admitted to getting pregnant in an attempt to keep DH (that plan was seriously flawed lol). But he decided they weren't meant for each other when she threw the rice cooker at his head (still has the dent in it to prove it).

pullmyhairout's picture

My Sd's now 17 were definitely not planned but DH is so naive!
He swears it was an accident and she was on the pill and I say really she was on the pill and got pregnant with fraternal twins, two accidental eggs at the same time? WOW!

sweethoney's picture

haha, My H told me his ex couldn't have kids, so he didn't use anything even though they werent even together and guess what? SUPRISE they had a child. I don't think she "tricked" him because he was told repeatedly later that he had ruined her life by getting her pregnent so I don't really think that it was her plan either they were just both silly and reckless