DH said it was f'ed up that i didn't want to go on vacation with him and sd
So last year me and DH took dd18 and dd19 on a cruise for graduation (we had 2 free rooms one for me and one for dh, but we switched rooms to get the 2 dds in a room and me and DH in a room)
So fast forward this year sd is graduating... and DH wants to do a cruise again, the same way we did last year... it's booking 2 free rooms, but switch up the rooms once we get on board... so that sd and our neice are in a room, and DH and i are in a room together.
My daughter who is away at college is going to be coming into town for summer (but not the whole summer, because of work) and i told DH that i would be heart broken if she was home, and i was gone. (Not really wanting to go on a cruise with sd ANYWAYS but i didn't say this part).
DH told me it was f'ed up that i didn't want to go on this cruise... i assured him that it was only because i didn't want to miss my own daughter coming home, especially since it wasn't going to be for the entire summer.
I DON'T like playing happy family with a child who spews lies at EVERY given chance. She doesn't care who it's about. Over Christmas she told dd18 that DH doesn't pay child support. That when we took her to the emergency room (for cramps) that we told her BM couldn't come, that when she was telling lies about dd19 and trying to get her into trouble, that when she was curled up on the ground, i was standing over her YELLING down at her and stepped closer to her (i was seated on my bed and never raised my voice, in fact i was laughing at her inconsistencies in her story), she told dd18 that DH pushed her mom down stairs when she was pregnant with her... soooooooo many lies, why WHY would i want to go on a cruise with her?
I decided that I'll go because it saves us money, because of my free room, but I'll avoid her at every chance. I'll mysteriously get sea sickness if I have to.
You don't have to switch
You don't have to switch rooms. (Lol) Let him enjoy SD to the max. I don't believe it is F'd up you don't want to go on a cruis with a liar. Did you ask DH what his plan is to keep SD's drama from you do you have a nice cruise too? I would put some boundaries in place about this trip because there is some sacrifices you are making to go and he should make sure you have a good trip and not regrets for missing time with your BD.
Luckily i just found out dd
Luckily i just found out dd will actually be at work that week, so i won't be missing her visit.
Honestly she probably switched things around so that i wouldn't miss her visit.
When Spawn was going to turn
When Spawn was going to turn 16 we were going to take her and a friend to Disneyland and get her and the friend their own hotel room. That is until we found out Spawn and Meth Mouth had been planning to take DH to court and tell lies so that Spawn could live with Meth Mouth again. When we found that out is when I disengaged fully and I cancelled the trip. DH understood but implored me to do something with them for Spawn’s birthday. I refused, so instead he took Spawn all by himself, they went for a few hours and were home before lunch because “it just wasn’t that fun” Well that’s because your kid sucks and you don’t really have a relationship with her unless I’m there as a buffer. Personally I would not got and be that buffer but that’s just me.
That's pretty accurate to
That's pretty accurate to this situation. Unless I'm there for him to hang with/ talk to, it'd be pretty boring
I'm sorry, why are you going?
I'm sorry, why are you going? I may have misunderstood, but I got from your post that your SD is a horrible human being, drama queen galore, chronic liar, terrific shit disturber, ... and you are first taking her on a cruise, thus rewarding her terrible behaviour especially over the holidays, and then tagging along to "save money".
You are a saint. Your really should be hanging with your daughter and bonding with her especially if the rest of them continue onto taking the cruise. You'll have some great solo time with your daughter!
I'd nope out of the trip and any future discussion about it going forward. New boundary!
Because it will save money,
Because it will save money, we'd have to pay for another room instead of getting that room free if i weren't going. Luckily dd18 worked out out with her job that she'd be back up there working while I'm on the cruise. But regardless I'm PISSED DH thinks it'd be f'ed up that i wouldn't want to be there. I'm just going to work my hardest at avoiding her while on the boat.
Is there no way to coordinate
Is there no way to coordinate with your DD so that she can go with you?
Luckily DD is still going to
Luckily DD is still going to be at work and away and not here during that week.
Dup
Dup
I would so NOT want to go
Yeah. DH wants you to go so he looks like the "good dad".
Well, he can go by himself and you organise a trip with you and DD.
Right? I know that's what it
Right? I know that's what it is. Luckily dd actually will be away during that week. I'm still pissed that DH thinks it would be f'ed up though.. i get that we BOTH took my daughters, but my daughters actually treat DH with respect and look at him as their father, SD has COMPLETELY distanced herself from this family, i wouldn't be surprised if she tells people that her step dad is more like her father.
Seriously? He can't
Seriously? He can't understand that you would rather spend time with your bio daughter rather than with his kid? Is he showing any other signs of early onset dementia?
Right? Like nothing even
Right? Like nothing even happened
So....
'My dear, your daughter is not pleasant to be around. In the future if you step up and parent her to eleminate the lies and toxicity, you may find that I would be more willing to join in vacations that include her. How about that?'
Lol right? She actual have
Lol right? She actual have to be present for him to parent her though, at this point she's not even been here more than 1/2 day since Christmas.
Oh, no no no no no. Do NOT
Oh, no no no no no. Do NOT switch rooms. DH should share with SD to have a lovely bonding experience!
Sounds like his head is lodged. I prescribe a Flying Five Fist Monkey Nut Punch. Times two. *dirol*
You wanting to spend time with your daughter is no less important than him spending time with his. Maybe the light will come on and he'll realize what a cotton-headed ninnymuggins he has been.
Sensitive much dude? It's
Sensitive much dude? It's not so much that you don't want to be there.. your reason was so that you didn't miss seeing your daughter.. (yeah.. I'm sure there was some of the former).. but the main reason was you thought your DD would be home.. now that she isn't you ARE going.. so.. that throws his assumption out right!