DH holds power - maybe I should check out - literally
Just had a real bad argument with DH. The SDs have been here 4 days which hasn't helped and I have horrible menopausal symptoms.
However the main issue is that over the last few weeks, we have been talking about eventually (5-7yrs hence), moving back to the part of the UK (150 miles away)that I left 8 years ago to come and live with him. I have friends there, and would really love to go back, and have done initial bits of research into property prices there etc. It doesn't really matter from his point of view as it would still be the same commuting distance to London and he is hoping to retire in about 12 years anyway.
He seemed to be all for it and even suggested we go down there in the autumn to spend a long weekend and look around. However when I brought up the idea of booking said long weekend he blew a gasket and said that he didn't like the way I'd mentioned to one of my daughters and to my ex that this might be a possibility, and from there the argument escalated into him telling me to burn the books and maps I'd bought recently on Sussex, or "b*****r down there on your own!" He then stormed out of the house.
I really feel that because he holds the cards, financially speaking, in our relationship, he has all the power. We virtually never have arguments unless it is about the SDs, and this is about them really, because he doesn't want them getting wind of our plans, as they are far in the future, and probably doesn't really want to move anyway and was just humouring me. I think he wants to spend forever living 3 miles away from his daughters as currently, and I am expected to travel hundreds of miles to mine. I would understand if they were tiny kids, but they will be well into their 20's by then.
I actually feel quite suicidal now, as this project was holding at by my chronic depression, and giving me something to look forward to. Just in the last half hour I have removed all the photos of me and my side of the family from the walls and mantelpiece. When he comes back and asks, I will say that I thought the display of photos should more clearly display who holds the power in this relationship. I have a lot of pills upstairs for my depression and the temptation is actually to go and take a load of them before he comes back.