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DH is off Friday and BM thinks it's inappropriate for him to spend time with his kids

SMof2Girls's picture

He's off Friday so he's keeping the girls home from day camp. He's taking them to see Despicable Me 2 and then to the Children's museum. Being that summer is his primary time to have the skids, and he works so dang much, he doesn't see the harm. The "field trip" this week at camp is to the pool, and skids said they'd rather hang with dad.

BM sent an email saying she'd be picking the skids up at 9am Friday from day care for her weekend. DH emailed back and said they won't be available until 6pm (normal custody switch time) since he's keeping them home to spend time with them and she replied saying "I feel that this is an inappropriate and unfair action on your part".

He's never protested her picking the skids up early from day care since she only gets EOWE, but that doesn't make her entitled to it. He realizes now he didn't need to tell her WHY she couldn't get them early, but it would've come out eventually anyway.

realitycheckmom's picture

I think it is inappropriate to not allow dad his CO time. She may have something going on and her not getting them is screwing up her timetable but too bad. She would bitch if he wanted them early and she made plans.

SMof2Girls's picture

They're with him (us) now. He gets primary custody during the summers; she gets every other weekend during that time. The girls were living out of state with her until late May, so for 8 months he saw them (on average) 1 weekend a month. He feels no obligation to make additional time available to her; but doesn't object when it works out scheduling-wise. It's just going to work out this week, kwim?

SMof2Girls's picture

Yeah .. unfair because she's not getting to pick up the skids early and she'll likely have to sit in some traffic to get them. She probably should have thought of that before moving 45 miles away. Last time she sent her boyfriend to get them, so maybe it's the inconvenience of having to get them herself that's "unfair" to her?

SMof2Girls's picture

DH hasn't responded at all other than to tell her they'll be available at 6pm. She's now threatening legal actions if he doesn't take them to day care. She also said she will follow "proper procedures" to make sure this doesn't happen again. NO idea what that means .. lol

misSTEP's picture

She is a complete nutter if she thinks she can dictate what dad does during dad's parenting time.

twoviewpoints's picture

Sounds like a fun Dad/kid day to me. I hope they have a great time.

As 6pm is CO exchange time, does it really matter what BM thinks of the day's plan? She should never assume just because he allows her early pick-ups now and then that he will each time.

SMof2Girls's picture

She shouldn't assume .. but she does. Typical her, ya know? Not like he even GIVES her extra time .. she just picks them up from day care and there's not much he can do anyway. It sucks that when she does that the skids miss their field trips, but he doesn't really make a big stink because spending an extra few hours with a parent they only see EOWE during the summer is probably better for the kids.

SMof2Girls's picture

Yeah, he replied to confirm drop off time and that will be it. The level of entitlement just never ceases to amaze me. :O

SMof2Girls's picture

I hear that!! I can pretty vividly predict the next step. When she has days off work, she will plan to pick them up from day care and spend the day with them, dropping them off to us afterwards. I can only imagine the can of worms this one stupid day has opened Sad

Anon2009's picture

I think parents should eat crow so their kids don't have to.

Meaning, no, bm may not like dh (he's an ex for a reason) but the girls are entitled to know and have a good time with their dad. So if they talk about how much fun they had with dad, she has to eat her crow and make the best of listening to them. Just like dh does when he hears about the fun things they did with her.

SMof2Girls's picture

Absolutely! Funny how most of the fun/awesome stuff we hear about BM comes from BM. Usually in email form saying things like "the girls are the happiest they've ever been in their whole lives when they're with me". Yeah BM, we're totally convinced :sick:

SMof2Girls's picture

Agreed. He tries his best but definitely lets more information slip than he needs to sometimes.

SMof2Girls's picture

I can probably tell you what she finds inappropriate .. she thinks it's inappropriate for him to keep the girls home on his days off because she doesn't get the same opportunity. She lives 45 miles away, and DH is CP during the summer.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

How is she off at 0900 to pick up the kids anyway?

I think it's inappropriate that she breathes the same air as I do Smile

SMof2Girls's picture

Last time she didn't .. she sent her boyfriend to get them and watch them until she got off work at 6pm.

myspoonistoobig's picture

"I think it's inappropriate that she breathes the same air as I do"

Pretty much sums up my response to this BM. The whole thing sounds like something I'd read on the shitmybmsays fb page.

SMof2Girls's picture

She just can't handle not being the most important person in the world to everyone she comes in contact with Blum 3

Its_My_Life_Too's picture

My suggestion- If it comes to another court hearing- Retain a copy for the hearing... and write all exchanges of communication down. My SD's BM pulls things like that with us. I have to prod my fiance a lot but tend to do a lot of "hey look at the CO hunny!!! what does it say?!?! yeah, now go tell BM to shut her mouth!"

How do these BM's get to feeling so entitled? I mean I guess I can't really relate since I don't have kids of my own but sheesh... I just wanna be like calm down!!!!

misSTEP's picture

It's funny when the BMs think: "This is what I want. If you do not bow to my wishes, I am going to sic the big bad COURT SYSTEM on you! Because what I want is the LAW!!"

I know it isn't funny to you but it is funny to outsiders. I had to deal with the same thing for many many years.

SMof2Girls's picture

Oh I find most of it very amusing. It's exhausting at times, but for the most part, we just don't deal with her crazy anymore.

I find it further amusing that she's being held to the CO switch time, AND it decided to pour down raining all day .. so her traffic concerns have instantly been compounded }:)