DH = " Denying Husband."
That's right. One whom is in complete denial of the facts. OMG once again, DH is going to give it a try with SD6 and BM and have to revert, AGAIN, a supposed finalized email sent to BM and her attorney. This makes the 5th time in a year he has emailed and improvised time sharing plans because of the nightmares that come with it. I am totally, completely, utterly out of this now.- I AM NOT HERE--- DH is on his own and obviously must learn the hard way.
" I want US to be a family." :? ( Denying Husband)
" Oh no!!! Not "that make believe, fairytale BS AGAIN?!"
( Butterfly)
" I'm going to ask SD6 "again" if she wants to come over." ( Denying Husband) who will be hurt again. I can see it coming.
" Uhm. Haven't you already asked about thirty times and keep getting shot down and hurt?" ( Butterfly)
" I want to be a presence in her life." ( Denying Husband )
" Well, shouldn't you have thought of that a year and a half ago when you let your ex-wife brainwash her and rip away all of your vistation time? You can't be a "presence" in a life, 4 days a month." ( Butterfly- no, did not say but thought this one.)-Keeping out of it.
He keeps imagining that all of us are going to be one, big, sloppy kissing, loving family. It isn't going to happen right now. His daughter needs major therapy, in my opinion. I DO NOT even exist in to SD6 in face to face contact even. He is just, once again, in complete denial of the obvious. Kudos to him for trying and trying but I need for him to cope and learn to move forward in his life.
Has anybody else seen this in other dads going through these issues? Is there anything I can do to help, besides stay out of it?
( he just read a major ch. in Divorce Poison: "moving on" ch.9!?)
Bottom line: Denying Husband
Bottom line: Denying Husband should never had made it to where he had to "ask" anyone. That was the 1st and last mistake. Agree?
Thanks for sharing. I'm glad your SO came to grips with reality.
See? I do the same things as
See? I do the same things as you. I am always trying to bridge together the impossible and eliminate any pain that I see.
I have came right out and told him, "SD6 has said over and over that she does not want to come over to your face, you turn around and cry on my shoulder, then act like you never heard her say this?!"
Insert more denial. He thinks that SD6 will magically "change." I defer from this and think it is bad on SD6 to be going through so many changes. SD6 is NOT a ping pong ball. Would anybody like being "home" and feeling safe with mom and somebody just shows and yanks you away from all that you really ever knew in life as a "home"? I think not. This is not the stability that a 6 year old girl needs in her life. Let her grow up some and then see how it might go? Right?
Thank you!!! You nailed it
Thank you!!! You nailed it exactly as I see it. Who hurts in all of this squabble? THE CHILDREN. It does no good for the psyche to be bounced around, to and from in between parents that can't restrain themselves from fighting or badmouthing. DH "wonders" why SD6 is so behind in her schooling? She has been the weapon used in between two parents since she was 3 years old. Really? Let.It.Be.
I think he doesn't want to
I think he doesn't want to admit that he will be screwed over again because that means he chose an absolute bitch as a mother for his daughter. And what man wants to know they messed up?
You brought a word to mind
You brought a word to mind that I have to this day, yet to even think of for some vague reasoning.
"Pride."
Could it be that his pride has been the culprit? I'm now thinking on that wavelength and it actually makes sense. It is not "pain" he is suffering from per se and lingering out this strife, back and forth, it has been a huge case of pride! Interesting.
I am not stating that you put those words in my mouth but this was the 1st thing to come to mind after reading your comment.
Thank you!