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DH being ridiculous

NoNameThx's picture

My DH is a cop. Some of you remember me saying that I was offended (Secretly, didn't tell him) and kind of sad that on our anniversary, my only gift was a necklace that said "Police Wife". My husband has a constant need for approval and the constant need for others to be bragging on him. The gift did not seem like a sweet gift, but rather something for others to notice who HE is and brag on HIM for what HE does. I mean I am a teacher; wouldn't it have been more meaningful to get me a teacher necklace or something?? Why should I wear something to show who I am in relation to HIM?

DH just bought SD10 a phone. He made her background on her phone a picture that said "Police Officer's Daughter". He thought it was sweet. She kind of did too. Yesterday she asked me if it would hurt her dad's feelings if she changed that to a picture of One Direction. I told her it was her phone, make her background whatever she'd like.

DH flew off the handle, told her it was hurtful and wrong. She told him I told her it was ok. He went off on me.

Does this seem ridiculous to anyone else?!

luchay's picture

"I've had people tell me that's what being a cop does to a man but I think they are wrong. Being a cop doesn't give a person that powertrip attitude; that person already had that personality and being a cop allows him to INDULGE that attitude."

Absolutely!!

My first husband was a control freak, the big I AM, he really got off (gets off) on power. He became a cop MANY years after I left him, and thank God we now live 3000k's apart! I would not want to be living anywhere near him now that he has that sort of power. VERY SCARY.

Irrelevant to the OP - sorry Smile

Your OH is being totally ridiculous. I thought at the time that the present to you was really not ok, YOUR birthday present, you would like to hope your SO cared enough to take the time to find something for YOU. Not about him. Self-centred jerk.

And to do that to his daughter - what a dick.

NCMilGal's picture

ffs, when did our BM get a sex change and get married to you?

That's some BS right there. His 'gifts' appear to say that you and his daughter are his possessions, not his loved ones.

People have their own personalities and interests, and he needs to accept that.

Lastly, I don't think there's anything wrong with you self-identifying as a teacher. DH is a Command Sergeant Major, the highest enlisted rank. I don't identify myself as a CSM's wife because that's not the most important role I have. I have a lot of roles, that's just one of them.

sbm014's picture

Greatly ridiculous. I agree with NCMilGal when she says that it appears that you are more of his possessions.

There is a difference between a work place and a home. I personally am a coordinator for a small company and have a decent amount of power even over equals in the office especially when it comes to our tradeshows but when I am at home DH is my equal. My DH is a merchant mariner at work he is a bit more cocky than at home as he works with a prick as a captain and when going to dock you have to have confidence over your vessel however when he calls me even at work he is another person. I have a anchor on my keychain he got which symbolizes his offshore work especially in the small town we live in, and a necklace his company got made for all spouses which links again to his work. I do not always wear it nor do I always wear my ring as he cannot wear one at work due to safety reasons but their is enough confidence that he knows I am his without stamping his work all over me.

I don't think anyone wants their spouses stamp all over everything and it is sad that a child even has to be imposed with his "cop" stamp on her phone that is for his pleasing and it is just ridiculous.

I wish I could give you advice on how to fix the situation but it sounds like your DH is to entrapped in his own needs and satisfaction for him to be logical.

SMof2Girls's picture

My DH is a cop as well. He doesn't act like this at all. He knows better than to treat me or his kids like this.

That being said, he's quite the opposite in "flashing" his job to anyone. He didn't even want me to get FOP tags on my car initially because he was nervous about the sh!theads out there who may retaliate.

He works in drugs .. he deals with bad people all the time .. he doesn't WANT to bring that into our home.

EvilWickedSM's picture

Ahhhh, the typical police officer attitude. I know....my ex is one. My BIL is one. They both have the same personality. Most, not all... but MOST, police officers I know act this way. Have fun with that.