Dear Witchy Poo,
Unfortunately you have been caught out in two important lies.
Firstly, we received a request from your ventriloquist dummy (SS17 1/2) to sign some important paperwork for his admission to the armed forces.
It gives his residential address as your sisters address. Not yours. We will therefore be contacting the Child support agency and the next 110 days of support ( all that is left for him) will be paid to the person who is ACTUALLY supporting him. Not you.
Secondly, when we received the record of service from the process server, he was told on the first attempted service by the male adult person at your address (who refused to identify himself) that you were at work. At 8pm. Unfortunately (for you) this conflicts with your sworn statements that you were only able to work between the hours of 930 and 230 Mon to fri. Limiting your earning potential and income. We will be forwarding this information also to the child support agency. They, in conjunction with the taxation office, will now conduct a thorough investigation into your bank accounts and an audit of your employers financial records ( yes, your sister who is also housing and supporting your oldest son). Because you also made sworn statements that you had not been paid superannuation since you started working for her 7 years ago.
This is a serious breach of the Australian Superannuation laws and could result in deregistration of your sisters business amongst other penalties.
Perhaps you should have either
a) told the truth
b) told the people involved in your lies, what you had lied about, so that they didn't inadvertantly sell you down sh#+river.
It couldn't happen to a nicer person.
hope you enjoy the consequences that folow
Very sincerely,
Fdh and Miss Flo }:)