Dealing with the ex wife
Some one correct me if im wrong but am I wrong when I feel like my husband isn't over his ex wife. When we first got together he use to run when she went to yelling for help. And I finally put that to a stop when we got together. But you can tell she hates it.. Their 14 year old child lives with us. We provide everything for him she doesn't spend a dime on helping us buy school clothes or anything. And she even has him on her food stamps and she doesn't help us with grocerys if we needed it. It seems like she's constantly pushing her way in our life's knowing it's causeing problems in our home.. My husband is a very helpful person when it comes to helping people and im the same way but not as much as him. I've even let this women stau in our home for 2-3weeks bc she had no where to go and has other kids.. I bought her cigs and whatever else she needed while there.. But then I had enough and realizedi was stupid for even doing that. Shi i made her leave. I've let her come over to wash clothes and hang out.. But it's like when i quit doing for her she gets mad and trys going around me using their son and having him ask his father things.. Like she even just texted him the other day and asked him if he would bring her something for her birthday.. Like what do I got to do to get him to see my perspective of things bc when I go to showing my butt about everything he acts as if I'm crazy and tripping over nothing. He makes excuses for her and trys saying oh that's not what she's meaning your just tripping.. Like I'm really exhausted from all this mess and can't take no more of it. Along with their child constantly cussing around my toddlers and constantly cussing at me and his father... This chikd has no respect he does as he pleases. He doesn't even go to school no more bc the school kid him out for disrespect. He goes around telling me the home we live in isn't mine it's his daddy's and that nothing here is mine. When in fact when i got with my husband he was homeless had no where to go and was walking around with a bookbag on his bag...
#mylifeiscrazy #imcrazyfordealingwithit
HIs school kicked him out for
HIs school kicked him out for being disrespectful?
Man, I've got to get a job there.
"DH, either I live in this
"DH, either I live in this home on my own or with you. If it's with you, some things have to change. If that isn't okay with you, there's the door. Take your disrespectful teen and leave."
In my experience, there is ZERO fixing someone who doesn't show you respect, and any parent who allows their child and ex to be disrespectful to you doesn't have respect for you. But, if you want to try, give him a firm list of what has to change to keep you as his wife and see if he tries. If he doesn't, then all you're doing is supporting someone else's family while yours languishes.
Yes they kicked him out for
Yes they kicked him out for constant disrespect cussing the teachers. And not doing his work. He was already in an alternative school to begin with. I've set a firm rule where she had to contact me if there was any concerns to deal with the chikd abd then I'd let my husband know but she's done got mad with me bc i want do for her no more so she's took upon her self to go around me to speak to him. I know he cares and loves me and doesn't want to be with her no more but it's like he just can't let her go and quit doing things for her. And taking up for her. He never has my back with things he just assumed I'm crazy and tripping. It seems like im just repeating myself all the time. She's even messaged and said I'm really about to what kind of bitch she is. Which im not worried a bit bc i know where i stand and i still have some say so.. But it's like her and the son are teaming up now and doing things they know is disrespectful towards me..
When you lay down with dogs,
When you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
You really need to lay down some boundaries and standards for yourself and your home. This BM sounds like absolute bottom feeder trash, and her son isn't much better. Don't allow her in your home again.
You should separate finances, and focus on protecting your children and your self from this low rent drama. Tell your H to parent his juvenile delinquent son and keep him away from you. This is only going to get worse, so start developing an exit strategy. You can do sooo much better than this.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries
Seems like you need to develop and enforce some boundaries in your home.
Also, I agree with the post above, if your DH is helping his ex, he either still has feelings for her or he has extreme guilt toward her.
My DH actively avoids all contact with BM and wouldn't help her with anything, but I think he used to feel more obligated to help her when they were first divorced.
My XW was one to try to guilt
My XW was one to try to guilt me into helping her after she ran off with her geriatric Fortune 500 executive sugar/baby daddy.
I lent her an ear but that was it. And only then for a few months. After the divorce was signed by the Judge any time she would call I would answer with "Why are you calling me?"
People who are enmeshed with their X and spawn they had with that X are not worthy partners. They tend to not be capable of making a new relationship and partner their priority.