You are here

CSA/ Parenting plan advice needed

HarleyQuinn's picture

Because BM is annoyed that she can't rule over DH now we are married she has decided to go to CSA for more money. This was never an issue before we got married, he has not reducedpayments or purchases for kids or visits, we have bought a flat and went on holiday to get married, funded by me and me alone. So she sees this and obviously doesnt kinow I paid for it as its none of her business, but now thinks she should be getting more money from DH.
So sneakily she put in a CSA claim, whilst being a rude cow to DH in front of the kids and then when she knew it was being processed she has got other people to drop off kids and not answered DH's calls. Long story but she is playing victim and has agreed to meet with a mediator that she has arranged.

Is there anything that we can get legally written up so that he makes payments and purchass for the kids (as he has been) that will stand up in court if she ever tried to pull a stunt again?I know that whenever she felt like it she can go and put a CSA claim in though.DH is in bits that shes doing this and making it difficult to see and speak to the kids now. hes said that he will just not see them ever again if she goes through with it all, thats how mad he is, although could never not see them.

So angry as she won't spend CSA money on proper things for kids, its not the money, its the fact that she sneakily done this out of pure jealousy and because she got pissed off at him.Kids won't be better off. He will have to fork out more cash monthly yes but not a lot more, but then he cant make sure kids get what they needs that he used to buy ontop of the cash he gave her.

DH was not married to her and was never in a relationship with her after 1st kid was conceived, 2nd kid was 1 druken accident and this is not a secret amongst both families.She does not work, 1 skid is in school the other is 3yr old.

ANyone had to go through the circus of CSA? In a way I want it all sorted now becasue she will always hold this over him, which she has done constantly but never actually put a claim in until now.

StickAFork's picture

Was he paying child support previously? I have a hard time following with the difference in vernacular. Wink

As far as I know, periodic modifications of CS are normal and to be expected. She cannot request one all the time, but no... there is nothing you can do to keep her from "pulling a stunt like this" in the future. Wink

Orange County Ca's picture

Do I understand it that he's so angry he's decided to cut off contact with the kids?

Bad enough for the 1 year old, I suppose, to have no Daddy as s/he grows but surely the 3 year old has knowledge that a Daddy does exist. Hopefully that's just a fit and will pass.

In any event its always better to have a official position to fall back on. As it stands now it seems she can just ask him for any amount she sees fit and can apply whatever pressure he's vulnerable to in order to get her way.

With a set amount locked in he can always give more, buy gifts or whatever, but can always deny her requests based on the fact that child support is legally considered enough to completely support the children. Any failure to provide for the children then falls on her back for not spending the money appropriately.