You are here

Crazy? Or have I learned from mistakes

Crazymommaof4's picture

Ok ladies I need opinions! I kind of think I know what you guys will say but here goes! Me and my Bf meet in jan 2011 we talked occasionally then went on a date in April we became exclusive in July 2011 we then decided to rent a house and moved in together feb 2012. At the time when we were seeing each other his 3 children lived with their mothers then a couple months into our relationship his youngest 5 at the time moved in with him her mother then went like 3 months no contact running around being a drug loving whore. Well we moved in together I packed up accepted a new job offer and me and my 2 youngest boys 4 and 14 at the time moved and hour and a half away from one state to another away from my mom and brother. I don't regret the move I love him but I strongly dislike his kids I didn't spend much time with them til I moved here my older 2 children disliked them from the get go but I shrugged it off as just kids being kids but they respected me and them and never showed dislike or treated them bad because they know better. I have strong hatred towards his second ex the BM of his youngest she's like 28yrs old and very immature and shows it! His first ex is 42 and we get along fine we speak civil if seen in public hell she even took my son to school when we first moved here no problems with her she's moved on set to marry only contact is about the kids life is fine... BUT my problem is with the other one she's rude disrespecting calls or texts constantly has several BF's all the time exposes the 6 yr old to all kinda of crap brings her home with lice refuses to do her part financially and expects me to do it which causes me to dislike her and their daughter even more cause a child never sees the truth at that age it's always my mom is so great which makes me wanna puke! We decided a few months ago to marry in march of 2013 well his daughter ran and told mommy and things got worse I kept my mouth shut at first but now I speak up and have even snapped at the ex because she stood there complaining about me as I stood in front of her and it was because she was pissed I kept finding lice in their kids hair which every time I did I made sure I showed the proof.the latest is after we marry she wanted me to add her child on my insurance well I refused cause its not my job to pay for it she is now wanting my bf to pay for guitar lessons $25 a week but yet she refuses to pay for health coverage to me it's like a big hello where are priorities!! I feel I need to call of the wedding to save myself from a lot of aggravation but then I think I love and won't leave him over it I just don't want the legal part of it cause when married his bills are my bills and I don't wanna pay for their left over bullshit. Nothing in their divorce papers are being followed correctly and it wasn't detailed out as in whose responsible for what cause at the time the mother was on ssi and had medicade for the child but now is working and let the medicade go cause then the state would find out her income is too high .... I'm at a loss and tried to tell him last night we needed to call it off and the slightest hint of it he became panicked and defensive like I was fixing to tell him he only had a week to live I just don't know what to do :/

Queeny's picture

Would call a hault on the wedding...maybe not off. Just slow down and take your time. There is SOOO much going on!

oldone's picture

It's on your DH to manage his 2nd ex. Sounds like he does not have this under conrol. Don't marry him unless he can get this together.

doll faced sm's picture

You know, these days, legal marriage comes with a lot of draw backs and not a lot of bennefits. There have been a few times when I wished my DH and I had just lived together as opposed to actually getting married. The majority of the benefits associated with legal marriage can now be handled by things such as wills and living wills. No one can make that decision for you, but I know that if, for whatever reason, my current marriage does not work out, I will never get married again. That's not to say I won't date or even fall in love, but marriage, moving in together, etc. is off the table.