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Court over....I think

Cookieboom's picture

4 years custody battle and over $100,000.  BF Husband spent a week of mediation with BM.They finally agreed to 50/50 custody.   BM signed the agreement, but now I think she was putting on a show.

After he got 50/50 custody, we had therapy to discuss what this means for our relationship, since SS refuses to have anything to do “With your skank GF.”  I was a little upset but knew that it was best that SS spend more time with BF.  We planned about how to go forward. 

I went on vacation with my kids in preparation with BF’s new custody agreement.  BF called me while I was away and told me that SS told him that he DOES NOT WANT to spend anymore time with him and is happy with the “visitation” only. 

SS said he wants to live with BM and stayed with BM the week that was to be the first week of 50/50 with dad.  He also chastised BF for not “Consulting him first”

BF said that BM agreed to the 50/50.  SS said that the judge forced her to sign the agreement, as the judge couldn’t get girlfriends in high school and hates all women.

BF contacted lawyer, but I don’t think there is much we can do now.  What a waste of time and money.  I know his legal team recognizes this, but not sure what he can do now.  He is out of money now.    What a f*&&ing joke.

Cookieboom's picture

I meant to say BF, not husband.  

Someoneelse's picture

Omg! That's crazy.  I'd see if DH could try to continues to take ss to therapy in hopes to work towards 50/50. Have him explain that is important that he have his father in his life. I feel that if we had sd here 50/50 things would have been better. DH only had eowe and thursdays... he had no impact on her upbringing, she ended up just like her mom.  A lying manipulative narcissisyic theiving peice of s#!t b!tc#

Cookieboom's picture

BM refusing to agree to therapy, she said SS doesn't need it BF is the one who has problems and needs therapy.  SS acts just like BM and is unbearable to be around.  

CastleJJ's picture

Coming from someone who spent plenty of time and money on court battles fighting a HCBM, this is a lose lose case. BM signed the order for 50/50 but she has no plan to actually follow it. BMs like this believe they are above the law and no court order, judge, or lawyer is going to tell her different. And, even if BF did get 50/50 timesharing, BM is going to brainwash that kid to hate him the entire time. 

Unfortunately in these cases, similar to mine, it is best to just let the skid go. These BMs aren't going to let anyone else parent and aren't going to accept not being the ONLY parent and in control. We let go; we had to to save our sanity. Now, we just exercise our court ordered parenting time (6 weeks per year) and we do our court ordered phone calls (twice a week) and pay CS and that's it. We don't try to get involved because we know BM will never allow that to happen. But we have finally found peace, even if it means we miss out on most of SS' life. 

CajunMom's picture

We had the same outcome. Tens of thousands of dollars spent and for what? NOTHING. Regardless that the kids were living in filth, failed multiple times and one dropped out of school at 17 (still in 8th grade), crazy amounts of missed school days, horrible medical neglect for both kids...and NOTHING. 

You can go back to court but I can bet nothing will happen...in fact, I'd bet money the judge may just favor what the SK wants. It's a rare occasion for a kid to combat PAS by the BM....they typically play right along and willingly, as is your SS.

Sorry to be so negative....but in truth....it's reality.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

No. Winnable. Solution.

And the danger becomes BM kicking the skid out when CS ends, at which point our rejected, guilt- laden SOs do somersaults and welcome Little Johnny with open arms while WE get stuck with a dirty bomb. It's both sad and sadly predictable, so play the long game, OP.

Cookieboom's picture

I told BF the same thing-although it may be sooner than that if she finds another man to run off with...

Rags's picture

Daddy needs to make it clear that a co is a co and it is 50/50 now whether SKid likes it or not.

The kid coddling bullshit needs to stop.

justmakingthebest's picture

Depending on what your BF wants to do, he can immediately file for contempt or he can drop the rope. It is his call, but with a kid like that he is better off just dropping it. 

Pay the CS and move on. 

Thumper's picture

Our BM signed the mediation document after a few sessions with fair and reasonable mediator. 

What does BM do? She turned around and said she never signed anything nor did she agree with terms.

FOR C. Sake it was in her own kindergarten handwriting. What a F liar.  So, it was back to court. For nothing.

 

 

*please excuse the language. 

 

Rags's picture

For us it was ~$10k and generally nothing changed.  Though the did originally file for custody when my DW was a single teen mom University student.   They were trying to intimidate her and bury her under a pile of legal services bills thinking she would just hand over her kid.

SS-30 was less than 2yo at that time.   When we pushed back on yet another attempt to postpone the hearing after my DWflew home for the hearing they dropped the custody element as we walked into court.  7 hrs later nothing substantive had changed, DW retained full physical and legal and they got 7wks of long distance visitation per year:

The side with the deeper pockets and most commitment usually prevails.  That is not always the best side, though in our situation I like to think that is the case.

In our case they way under estimated my bride.  And failed to get what they wanted before I entered the picture.