My husband and I have been together for two years. My husband has an ex-wife and three children. During our initial dating stage his ex was very disruptive. She called crying all of the time, came to my home crying on the front porch, stressed the children out about her woes and such. She also has been VERY dishonest about her financial position, since my husband moved from her home she has had a live in boyfriend whom conveniently did not begin paying her rent until it was challenged in court one year after the initial support was established. Since that time has quit her job for months on end, received child support as if she were paying work related child care (which is also supposedly paid to her mother in amount that is double what she received to take care of the children when they were married) and has encouraged the children to hide the unemployment from their father. During this time, my husband has had a down turn in income as his industry has slowed. He has borrowed thousands of dollars from his parents and me to make certain that his child support is paid. The financial burden of taking care of his children when they are with us and paying money out to their mother had become more than I was willing to do. The children have picked up on her manipulative behavior and play one side against each other. We threw a large party for two of the girls birthdays and were contacted by his ex after with criticisim on the gifts that we had given the girls (one wanted a doll and was dissapointed in the one that she received). The next evening she contacted my husband to let him know that he had received correspondance in the mail referring to personal financial information had been stolen (she opened a court document addressed to him) and she thought he should know.

That was it for me, she tries to control every aspect of our lives, where he works, when, where and how he should see his children. She comments on how we care for them, what kind of car I drive, what kind of dog that I own, what kind of home that we live in. She is now commenting on the life that we are trying to build together. I have become pregnant with twins. I am concerned that her negative influence and narcisitic ways are going to influence my children. Her continual inappropriate contact with my husband is pushing me further away. Would I better to cut it loose and raise these children with the hope of less influence from her?