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College and support

Trinka's picture

Does any non custodial parent pay 1/2 tuition for college (living on campus) plus 1/2 expenses. And still pay child support? If so how much child support?? And for what?

Is BM out of her mind??? Am I missing something? She wants CS of 700/ month. . WTF.

Ps. We pay health insurance. Kid doesn't have a car.

TASHA1983's picture

:O :jawdrop:

Good grief with the $$$ these douche's want/expect these men might as well stay with these losers til their kids are out of Grad school!!! j/k btw...but that shit is sickening!!!

Trinka's picture

I'm in nj. I know he can be required to pay both if we had the means. He and BM make the same salary. 60,000.

SMof2Girls's picture

LOL this sounds like something our BM would ask for. Skids have already been told that their college education is their responsibility and not to expect him to foot a dime.

Our state guidelines stop CS at age 18 or HS graduation, whichever comes last. CS can be continued via marriage settlement agreements or other things that are not court-ordered.

z3girl's picture

YES.

We are in NJ. DH was forced to pay 65% of college tuition, regardless of the school she went to. In other words, he had no say that she chose a private school that cost $48k per year instead of a state college here. Also, DH had to pay child support, although it was reduced and prorated for the times she actually lived at home.

SD22 graduated last May, and DH is STILL paying child support to BM because the paperwork he filed was "not enough" and they kicked it all back.

NJ is a pain.

BTW, when SD started college, BM took DH to court to ask for $1600 per month in addition to 65% tuition. Luckily this was laughed at and was reduced to $500 per month. For one kid!!

z3girl's picture

It's only $500 per month, but yes, it's still going on and she graduated from college last May. DH FINALLY filed paperwork last month, but it was returned because first they lost his check. He sent it all back in and now they want more forms. He's lazy, so he simply stopped paying, but they called today and demanded he make payments. So DH just needs to do the annoying paperwork and it should finally end.

Ugh. DH is going to be a monster while he's getting the dozens of copies together. Just ugh.

thinkthrice's picture

I live in New York and it seems worse here. Guilty Daddy made 33k gross last year yet is expected to pay $1,000 out of his net pay each MONTH. The BM makes as much as I do (10K more than Guilty Daddy)and her 2nd husband makes almost six figures.

Needless to say, I pay ALL the bills. He signed his life away (despite my warning and others) on the divorce decree and so-called mediation agreement. He has ten more years and 3 weeks until the youngest turns 21. He's been paying CS non-stop for the past ten years and 4 mos. He signed a document saying he would pay CS and college expenses until the children turn 21 or finish college, whichever comes LAST!!! His kids have failed elementary, middle and now high school so they will be permanent students as you can well see!

Today's community colleges LOVE the "children of divorce" unachieving, entitled perma-students. They LOVE that tuition rolling in semester after semester for remedial, non-accredited courses that Junior failed to learn back in grade school and continues to fail.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

That is so ridiculous. No adult should be forced to pay for his/her kids college, it should be up to the parents. I paid my own college and I am just fine. My husband put himself thru college and medical school. He is fine and still alive and all the better for it. It builds character. We are doomed if we don't teach our kids to be responsible adults and not entitled brats.

QueenBeau's picture

Scholarship programs aren't.

That's how I put myself through college. If you're smart enough (or athletic enough like my husband) - they'll pay for it all and more.

christinen's picture

^^^ Exactly. My parents "made too much" for me to qualify for financial aid, but not enough to actually help me with my tuition (they did what they could, but unfortuanatly it barely put a dent in my tuition bill). I worked full time and got loans for the rest. That's life. I'm glad I had that experience because I think it made me appreciate my education much more than if someone held my hand and paid my way.

You should not be forced to pay for an ADULT's college education. That is just insane.

onthefence2's picture

There are steps you can go through to prove that you are independent of your parents. Obviously you can't be living with them or receiving any money from them. That is what my sister did, and they did not count our parents' income.

Trinka's picture

There is no current agreement. Never married. No custody agreement. No courts ever involved.

Trinka's picture

she is not married. she makes just as much as DH - ~60k she owns her own home and her boyfriend lives with her.

it is his child. yes he is paying child support to his child tho he never married her mother. (they broke up before kid was born) he is a stand up DAD. they never had to go to court because he paid her and they agreed on visitation etc.
now she is pulling sh!t cuz WE are married and she is jealous. i love my step daughter as if she was my own. and she hates that. my step daughter loves me - BM hates that. she is an angry bitter person

Trinka's picture

What is that comment all about. I am going to help pay for her college. We can't afford to pay 1/2 tuition, expenses and spending money. plus 9000 per year extra to her mother.
You have no idea my relationship with my step child.
Bitter??

z3girl's picture

In NJ, it doesn't matter if there is no agreement or not. If BM takes your DH to court, the court WILL REQUIRE he pay toward tuition, and since they make the same amount, it will be 50%. If your DH has a masters degree, there is a chance he will be forced to pay that for his kid as well, unless BM agrees she doesn't want to pay that either.

It's awful, and I wish my DH had the balls to contest it. Not that he wouldn't help, but he shouldn't be REQUIRED to help.

Oh, and in our case, the original agreement was 50%, but when BM took DH to court, the judge threw that out and based it on current incomes, and DH makes more.

Disillusioned's picture

My DH paid for the full college tuition, on top of CS (and this included the full CS he paid to BM while his eldest daughter lived with us full time)

BM contributed for a parking spot at the college...and not even a good parking spot

Calypso1977's picture

partner agreed to pay 1/3 of tuition only, and that's based on the state school rate so its not 1/3 of Harvard. and that only happens AFTER any grants, work study, etc. is factored in.

the rate we're going, SD will probably flunk out of HS and not go anyway.

and yes, he has to pay CS until she's 22 unless she doesn't go to college FT, then its only until she's 19.

jumanji's picture

Well... My ex VOLUNTEERED to pay for 100% of our kids' college expenses. But, included a loophole - we both, plus the child, had to agree on the school. Fair enough. Except he refused to agree to any school. Both kids ended up with academic scholarships, covering tuition 100%. The remaining expense was housing. Did I take him to court for it? Not worth the hassle. Both kids work p/t, and I cover the rest - housing, food, books, etc. Well worth it to me. But he better not expect to be front and center at Graduation.