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Child Support -What is it for? BM to spend on herself and other kids?

invisiblestepmom's picture

My husband has my step children the same amount of time that his ex-wife does. No one is considered primary yet he has to pay child support to her. I guess he made more money than she did when they divorced, but my husbadn lost that job and has new employment making less money than she does. My husband has to also provide the hmedical uinsurance on the kids. They are too pay half of all medical bills but she doesn't pay her half, we get stuck paying it so our kids can continue to go to the same doctors offices. They are supposed to each pay half for school expenses but she doesn't pay her half. She is remarried with 2 more kids. And my husband remarried me and we have two more kids. Both households of 6, their income is higher and yet he has to pay her child support and we get sutck paying more than half the expenses and she still has the nerve to say her child supoprt isn't big enough and ask for more moeny. And then I wonder where it goes. The kids will constantly call and say dad I need shoes, etc. or my mom bought me these pants and you need to pay her for them. As far as I am concerned that is what he pays her child support for. We provide for them at our house and she should at their house. Sometimes the kids dont help because what we buy is not good enough for them becuase its not bradn name. Well we can't afford it. And while he has to pay for all this for them the kids he has half the time, he has nothing left over after child support insurance and house payment for our home to pay for anything for our kids. I do it all, plus pay to feed his kids when they are in our house which is not cheap becasue htey both have appetites to eat us out of house and home. I pay for all that our children that we had to gether get, the groceries, the utilities, the credit cards, etc..and get pretty ticked off about the child support situation because she gets it and still does not provide for her kids...where I get nothing and am provideing for a family of 6 9step kids inlcuded) on a part-time minimum wage job! Sometimes I wish I were the one getting the child support and not the ex-wife. I mean I feed them, I buy them clothes, birthday gifts, xmas gifts, school supplies on top of providing for our shared children diapers, childcre, etc..with no one paying me anything to take care of our kids and no assiatance form the goverment either. WTF does she spend it on. Not only did she get child support but she got medicaid and social securuty for my step daugheter because she had cancer whern she was three...she survived beat the cancer, the social security was supposed to stop when the medical treatment for cancer stopped more than 5 years ago..but she continued to faudulaently collect it. And still could nto provide for her kids without more of our money...And now the feds caught her and she has to pay back several years of soicl security and she had the nerve to try to say my huabdn had to pay half of it back since she collected it on thier daughter...we didnt see a dime of the money and it wasn't used for medialc bills either all that was covered by charities and fundraiser or my husbands insuracne..So she was getting almost 500$ (200$ child support and the rest from socialsecurity fraud.) a month to provide for two kids that she only had half the time while we did all the providing for...I could do a lot for the kids with an extra 200$ a month. For one had that money stayed in our house and not been payed out te her we would be getting by without burying ourselves in debt. And the money woul dhave been spent on the kids not God knows what.

Jeans222's picture

Ask her for some food stamps to offset the cost of feeding her kids or make sure they are at her house when its mealtime.

Far as what child suport is suppose to cover, you can google all that info as well as look for any specifics in the divorce decree as often they are spelled out as well as the length of time its to be done for.
Does the divorce decree say you have joint custody? what are the specifics? as my husband divorce papers cover EVERYTHING to the T as to who, what and where.

I bet she would give you some of her food stamps so she wouldn't have to cook.

200 a month? wow.. wish we paid that.. ours is 6x higher and thats for one kid.

invisiblestepmom's picture

She doesn't get food stamsp anymore, not after getting busted for lying about income...its only 200 because no one is primary, they have joint custody and it was based on income, had she made more money 12 years ago than him she would be paying us now...Still think if he went back to court she'd be paying us because theirs was based on whatever paretn made more moeny paid the other parent... none of us make very much which does not help the situation but she and her husbadn do make more...but really if they have the kids the same amoutn of time, everyone is working, he shouldn't have to pay her. yes the decree covers all the specific but my DH wont grow a pair and make her stick to it. He did not want to cause a battle...SO he sill fork over the money we do not have to keep the peace with her while we are driven even further into finacial ruins covering our own expenses and the expenses for his kids in her house supposedly...i still dont think the money is spent on the kids.

Pantera's picture

I've been on both ends. My DH used to have to pay $320 a month and we had his son every weekend. It was frustrating because his son would come over in clothes that didn't fit, shoes with holes, saying he didn't eat at his mom's, ect. We were always wondering WTF!!!??? Now my DH has sole custody and his ex wife is court ordered to pay support but doesn't. She is now $14,000 behind, she's never paid. I would love if she paid just $200 a month, it would help out alot. I think child support can go to bills such as electric, mortgage, food, clothes, ect. It is not supposed to go to extra curricular activities, furniture, mom's nail appointment, ect. It really sucks and I feel for ya. Tell your DH he needs to grow some. Or you could cut out the skids and DH part of the bills and make him pay for that and maybe he'll realize he needs to go after BM.