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Child Support Vent

GreenEyez's picture

So, BM decided to tell DH he should use his child support money that he receives from her to pay for HER visitation and then she'll pay him back (which she never does...she still owes 250 on medical bills...she actually thinks were stupid enough to pay $1000 and wait for her to pay us). Obviously BM blows her money on herself and now can't afford to book tickets for the next visitation period. DH told her that it's her responsibility to pay and quoted the CO. He will pay her back his half once they are booked as she has to send an itinerary. BM freaked and told DH that the CS money is her money that she works for and pays to CSS and therefore he has to use it for what SHE tells him to. DH replied calmly with "child support is used to SUPPORT the child with basic needs, not payments that are YOUR responsibility to make." The nerve of this woman lol...

GreenEyez's picture

She also said that she called CS and they said that it's fair for him to use that money. We called CSS to confirm this and the person we spoke to said she never called lol.

GreenEyez's picture

Ikr! Even if they did the CS rep my DH spoke to was like that would totally be incorrect lol

tog redux's picture

I can't believe court even made a woman pay CS! What is it, $25 a month or something ridiculous?

GreenEyez's picture

Haha close 200...should have been more because we have the children full time, but supposedly she can't afford it (we just found out she has a side business so clearly she can).

Exjuliemccoy's picture

How funny. As if her measly cs would pay for holiday airfare anyway.

Isn't it sexy when your man handles his business with his baggage? You should reward him *ahem* appropriately.

GreenEyez's picture

Right? She honestly thinks we put it in an account just waiting for her to tell us what to do with it. Not like we have clothes, food, school supplies, and a roof over the kids' head to pay for...but oh wait...she wouldn't  know that cause she never financially supported her kids.

Also oh yes it is! Its wonderful when DH reminds the trash of where it belongs.  Haha! ;) 

Siemprematahari's picture

Gotta love the entitlement BM has that she feels she can tell your H how to spend the CS, meanwhile she blows all her money on herself and can't afford to purchase tickets for visitation. This is not your H's problem and I'd ignore messages like this. It's not worth entertaining and she needs to get it together ASAP or she won't see the kids.

Thumper's picture

How much does bm pay dad? 10bucks a week?

 

Funny she told you she called cs office. I am surprised she didnt tell you that her lawyer told her,  it was fair that YOU used cs for her.

Wink

 

 

 

 

 

 

GreenEyez's picture

LOL that would not surprise me. She always pulls out these bogus claims. 

She knew she had to save up since the beginning of the year. So now she can deal with the consequences of her poor choices. *unknw*

Rags's picture

This woman is a dipshit.   How CS is spent is entirely at the discretion of the CP who receives CS from the NCP.  

That she would even suggest how DH spends his CS is just toxic manipulation. If she wants to see her kids, she needs to pay their travel to her location.

We had this same stipulation in our CO.  Each party had to pay to get the kid to their location.  The SpermIdiot/SpermClan paid to get SS to their location and we paid to get him home at the end of visitation.  There were several periods of a year or more for the 16+ years we lived under the CO when they refused visitation due ot "poor mouth" bullshit about not being able to afford the air fare to get SS to them.   Eventually I would pay the round trip.  Our intent was never to deny him that part of his family.  We did not tolerate thier crap and we never responded to their attempts at manipulation. But when they failed to pay their part and it began to impact my son his mom and I stepped in and covered their responsibilities.

It is a delicate balance.  Application of consequence on the blended family opposition and holding them responsible for their COd responsibilities and not punishing the Skid for the  idiocy of the shallow and polluted end of their gene pool.

I would let BM suffer this year. If she steps up next year, great. If not, let her simmer for another year.  If she does not step up then, let the Skid know that you and dad will cover moms share since she is crappy with money management.  Facts... keep the kid informed of the facts so mommy can't manipulate.

 

 

 

 

GreenEyez's picture

Could not agree with you more. However did you find that Sperm Clan took advantage of your generosity when you paid, and continued to use the "poor" excuse so that they wouldn't pay? I feel BM would definitely take advantage of this. And these tickets are quite costly since they're international. Did they ever pay you back?

Rags's picture

No, we did not find that they advantage because we would not allow them to.  We did not pay their travel costs regularly and only did it when it had been 1-2 years since SS had visited SpermLand. SS knew why he did not visit and he knew when we paid that we were the ones paying.

The SpermClan did not like that SS knew the facts so they generally did not pull any crap.  When we paid their travel they avoided us having to do it again for a while because they did not like the embarrassment.  As I said, it is a delicate balance to prevent the toxic blended family opposition from maniplating and punnishing the Skid for his idiot other famiie's 

 

BethAnne's picture

She could always skip her next payment and then see what happenes....I mean if she gets to decide how the money is spent then why send it at all? Some people are dumb...they think that no-one will see through their BS. 

GreenEyez's picture

She really is! Shes also a narcissist and control freak. This is her way of trying to gain some control but it's not working. Lol

GreenEyez's picture

Update: So BM is demanding that she needs her other half (the money from child support paid to DH) in order for her to get the tickets to fly the kids out to her for her visitation. She has now reached the level where she is also demanding DH to send all the receipts in order to make sure that what hes spent on the kids = what shes paid in CS. I'm totally LMFAO right now at this woman. What a poor excuse for a human. Shall we send her our mortgage payments? The medical bills she still owes us? The glasses WE paid for? The groceries we buy? All the clothes and shoes we had to buy cause she KEPT THEM ALL? School supplies? Where do I end...*lol*

Rags's picture

Time to respond with a Spreadsheet and Invoice showing all of what she has failed to pay for kid related medical expenses not covered by insurance.  Then send her an updated spreadsheet and invoice quarterly with penalties and interest applied. Use the IRS penalties and interest tables.  

Hey, if is good enough for the Gov't it is good enough to apply to idiots who don't pay their CO'd responsibilities for their children.

The state does not require CPs to account for the spend of CS monies and an NCP has no right to ask for an accounting of or enforce stipulations on how CS is spent. Ignore the whore, or better yet, give her clarity to go suck a rock.

The pittance my DW received in CS from the SpermClan paid for huge homes, new cars and very expensive vacations... at least according to SpermGrandHag.  Yep, we were living high on the hog on the $110/mo in CS that her idiot son was ordered to pay but that she paid for him. $27.50 a week provides for untold luxury in the pea sized brains of idiots.  We explained to SS that his mom and I had invested years in college, grad school and our careers to be able to afford to live the way we live and clearly reviewed what it costs provide for his share of the live we lived as a family of three and how that compared to CS that my DW received from the SpermClan for SS's support.

Turn up the heat on BM and share the facts with the Skids.  They need to know what it costs to provide for the household and family and exactly how much BM actually pays in CS.

When SS came home from SpermLand visitation upset because the CS being paid for him by the SpermClan was taking away from the care and feeding of his three  younger also out of wedlock SpermIdiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas we sat SS down and showed him the spreadsheet on what it cost to house, feed, clothe, provide medical insurance and medical care, glasses, dental care, higher school taxes for the best available school districts we always purposely lived in to ensure he had the best available education, costs of extracurricular activities, band instruments, how much we spent on our half of his visitation travel expenses, etc, etc, etc.......  and how that all compared to $27.50/wk in CS.

He got a clear picture in an hurry and added the facts to his growing understanding of the toxic manipulations he was subjected to by the shallow and polluted end of his gene pool. Eventually he started calling them on their bull shit when they spouted it to him during SpermLand visitation.  That shut them up.  When they realized that he knew the facts and would call them on their lies and manipulations it significantly curtailed their crap.  

GreenEyez's picture

You're advice is always so welcome. Thanks Rags! I hope my SKs will be as smart as yours is. I'm kind of losing hope with SD9. No matter how much we show her the facts she still takes BMs side for everything and falls for her pitty, manipulative games. She confessed that BM asked her to report back, after being caught eavesdropping...so she's out of the circle of trust. SD7 also told us that SD9 talks about our life to her mom and basically told her blatant lies. We feel so betrayed and have made it very clear to her that we will not have certain conversations in front of her because she cannot keep her mouth shut and honour our privacy. 

Siemprematahari's picture

I hope your H is not entertaining her nonsense. If she doesn't have the money to fly the kids out to her for her visitation, that's her problem. She should have planned for this ahead of time instead of pulling this last minute bullsh!t that should not be given any attention. He doesn't owe her any receipts or proof as to what he spends the money on for the kids. They are taken cared of and that's all she needs to know, all that other stuff she's saying is just back ground noise.

GreenEyez's picture

Absolutely not...he ignored her shenanigans lol at this point we're just rolling at the entertainment she's providing.

However, out of curiosity, we just totalled up what we pay in daycare costs for the kids and it surpassed, just in 3 months, what she has paid us since June. LOL so I told DH she should keep her mouth shut before she gets slapped with a higher CS payment.