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Child Support Question & Rant

JanRebecca's picture

DH has a new job - started a week ago, it's been hell trying to get ahold of the child support place - they are only open 730am to 430pm - he's working those hours. He has left so many messages and noone calls him back. 


WE GET IN TROUBLE if money is not taken from his check but he can't get help to get it arranged... STUPID. 


FINALLY this morning he got someone on the phone, he has off today as he works all weekend. They told him it will take several weeks to get it set up that the money comes directly from his check  - in the meantime he will have to call them every pay period and pay over the phone. Then they inform him that in December he will only have to pay 80.00 rather than the 500.00 he normally pays - because he has a credit? How does that happen? and can we trust that? Or will they take the 80.00 and then come at us saying he didn't pay the full amount and it be thrown into arrears? 

His ex called & texted a million times over Thanksgiving weekend because she didn't get her money - they took it from his check but we go through this every year - it takes longer to get to her because of the holiday - she throws a huge fit. She even accused him of taking a break between jobs and that's why she wasn't getting money. I'm sorry but she is a bitch!!! It's not like she even really hurts if the money isn't there  - she has a bf who is rich and lives in even though - he doesn't live there according to her - ha! She just loves causing drama!

justmakingthebest's picture

Credits are totally possible! He needs to go to the office and get a statement though, just so he has the back up is BM comes after him in court. 


tog redux's picture

My DH always has a credit because they divide a monthly sum owed over 26 pay periods, which comes out more than what he owes. When he changed jobs the Child Support Enforcement Unit was all over it and had the papers to his new job after one pay cycle.  In the meanwhile, he had mailed a check to them, which they promptly returned after the withholding was set up.

Just ask them to send some sort of receipt of payment, I'm sure they will anyway.

Iamwoman's picture

Hey JanRebecca, I totally get what you are saying. I am a bio and a step mom.

The bio mom should not be relying completely on childsupport to the point where if it doesn't come for a month or so, she is suddenly drowning in debt. This is poor money management. If she can't manage to have at least 3 months worth of bills in savings most of the time, then she is living beyond her means. Plain and simple. Too many people live paycheck to paycheck these days, thinking that anything more than just food, basic clothing, and a roof is a necessity, when in fact, anything more than that is a luxury.

She absolutely is causing drama - whether it's just for fun because she isn't strapped for cash, as you indicated here; or whether she actually is living beyond her means - either way, it is unecessary drama.

The child support office is in place for a reason. BM should be calling child support, not harassing your DH. He seems to be doing everything he can. My DH went through this as well when he switched jobs, and it DOES take child support forever to get their ducks in a row with a new job. He notified them immediately.

We also got harassed by our BM, who does not have saviings, and absolutely lives paycheck to paycheck (but just bought skids iphone tens...). These hos will use anything and everything to harass the other parent, because, yes, they loooove the drama.

I didn't receive my child support for nearly three years at one point. HCBD was purposely withholding despite having the money. I didn't harass him about it. I simply continued to give the child support office any and all information I could gather to help them collect according to the legal order. I only started to go into debt in the last few months of the third year of no child support, and luckily, that's around the same time my case was elevated to a tier two specialist who took extreme action to procure the monthly support, and now I do receive it monthly, much to HCBD's dismay. 

There is simply no need to harass the other parent. It is pointless and fruitless. BM should be calling the child support office.

ESMOD's picture

He needs to document whatever he can possibly document.  Request a mailed copy of his balance owed (or emailed .. if possible).  He should always get the name of the person he speaks with and mark down the date and time.

When he makes a payment.. he should aslo document how he does that.. if it's over the phone... then he should get the person's information or confirmation number.

When BM calls and asks.. he gives her the relevant information.  I don't know.. here is the person that took the payment information from me on the 3rd.

Survivingstephell's picture

The beauty of the state taking care of this is so you don't have to listen to BM complain.  He is doing his part to the best of his ability from the sound of it.  Let her call the state agency and take it up  with them.  

He just needs to disregard her complaining.  Simple in theory, harder to practice.  

hereiam's picture

DH paid through the state but he sent the check to CSE, himself, it was not withheld from his paycheck. That is where so many of the problems lie when changing jobs.

Wrong Way Diva's picture

Our county and state have an online portal to log into.   I can see when payments are posted, the balance owed, etc etc.   Google your county website to see if hubby can create an account.   I have printed out statements and used them in court to prove my SIL is in arrears on the grandbabies child support.   I cannot make an online payment but I am the reciever, not the payor so I don't know if that is an option.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I was going to say this. It takes a while for it to update but it has records of every penny that's be paid and when.

ESMOD's picture

I can comiserate with you OP.  My DH's EX was a B on wheels about her CS.  He paid her directly.. so obviously.. she was always ready to ask early and often if he could pay her "early" because I hav a bill etc..

A lot of the time, I was the one actually going to her bank and making the deposits.. so it was kind of a pain on my end.. also.. due to issues that occured over his CS obligation years.. sometimes I was actually paying out of my pocket.. becuase he didn't have it.  I was basically "lending" him the money.. but still.. we didn't really keep tabs on it like that on our end.  There were times BM would tell him "get your wife to pay me" if he was having issues coming up with it..

The bottom line was that I understood that she was owed this money.. I get that she relied on it.. and she had every right to rely on it.  However, I also know on his end.. when he was having problems paying it.. it was for a good reason and it would have been "nice" if she could have had some empathy for his situation as well.  And.. yeah.. she was living with her BF.. and the only real bills she did have were her cell phone bill.. and maybe some charge card stuff.. because usually we or the grandparents were sending the kids food and buying them clothes.. and she paid no rent.. didn't have a car pmt or ins pmt  etc.. so the money truly didn't need to cover the girl's expenses.  BUT... sure.. he had an obligation to pay that money to her.. and he did.  A few days late at times.. but there were other countless situations where he paid her EARLY too.. or gave her extra money for gas etc.. so she would let him have the girls for visitations.

So.. yes.. this IS his obligation... but since you live with him.. I understand how the stress bleeds over to BOTH of you.  I also understand the logic you state about since she has access to "other money".. that why does she have to go all postal on him.  I don't think you are saying that he doesn't need to pay.. but that gosh darn it.. can't your BF spot you with a hundred bucks until the CS agency gets you your money?  You can pay him back when the check DOES come in?  But.. theoretically.. just because I did have funds.. didn't mean that I was obligated to help my DH meet his CS pmts... even though I did do it at times.. it was my choice and it pissed me off when she would tell him that I needed to pay it.. because.. I didn't.