CHILD SUPPORT IS ACTUALLY BM PAYDAY
My DH and his BM have no court ordered child support or visitation schedule, he gives her $400 a month faithfully. She usually gets her money on the first of the month, my problem with it is this, I totally understand that his support is supposed to be for making sure that his son has his basic needs met and a roof over his head and food however this BM uses it for everything but the child, he goes to a public school, we buy his shoes and clothes. She lives 2 hours away and always complains about tolls and gas, DH told that was what the support is for she said it is not and that she wasn't bringing him if toll money wasn't provided. DH told her that he wasn't giving her any more so she didn't bring SS.She didn't get SS anyting for Christmas becasue she dropped him off to us for the entire 15 days he was off of school however we fund out that her older son was given an IPAD. BM doesn't work what I call a real job becasue she isn't capable, she wants to sleep all day. She is a chain smoker and drug user so I am sure that the support is used for smokes. This weekend we were supposed to have SS but he had a wrestling match, she called DH on Friday and asked if he could send her support through Walmart money transfer. DH being accomidating did and deducted the $8 fee from her money which she had an issue with but who cares. Now there is no incentive for her to bring the child for his visit thsi month unless she gets tired of him and he starts to irritate her, I don't care one way or the other but DH looks forward to having his son. Isn't support supposed to be 50/50? I have tried to get DH to give her less becasue no way in hell does it cost her $800 a month to house this child and the money she is getting is being used to buy her older kids things like Ipads. I know I sound like a bitch but if you knew who I was dealing with. I feel like he is supporting her and her BF and not his son.
is it 400 or 800?
Where does her other money come from? Is she on government assistance?
Time to really push hard for a c/o and get everything in writing. It really helps. Sometimes.
Ah good question...if she is
Ah good question...if she is getting assistance court ordered CS would mean she doesnt get as much. With cash assistance its dollar for dollar even.
SUPPORT
She gets gov't assistance (food stamps) and health insurance. I think the amount was a number that she threw at him when the broke up and at the time SS had to go to daycare which had to be paid for. I truely believe that it's too much but he doesn't think twice at giving it to her. He wants to make sure that his son is taken care of. I told DH he is stupid for handing her cash, he has no accounting of what and when he has paid her.
She threatened me when we got married with filing for support a while back said that my income would then be considered and she would get more. I told her I would quit my job before any money that I worked for went to her. From what I have been told my income wouldn't be considered.
WTF is he sending her CS
WTF is he sending her CS without a court order? It would be a cold day in hell before my husband sent his ex wife money that wasn't court ordered and properly calculated with the state calculator.
Would child support be more
Would child support be more if it was court ordered? And no, support isnt necessarily 50/50, especially if one parent has more custody.
Theres nothing you can do about what she does with the money. Nothing. $400 a month isnt bad, so unless it would be less through the courts just let it be and put it out of mind.
He needs to go to court to
He needs to go to court to get an order outlining his visits and who transports. Until then, he's at BM's mercy.
OK...Op lives in Penna. So,
OK...Op lives in Penna. So, this is in US Family courts.
OP you wrote BM doesnt work---my question is how does she support herself?
Run the state child support calculator
Run the state child support calculator and find out exactly why your DH should be paying. If it is less than 400, he should file in the correct county and get it adjusted. Google "Pennsylvania child support" and click on the human services link. Scroll down under "I would like to" and click on "estimate my child support amount."
Ideally, he should go to court and get a formal custody and child support order. If DH wants to see his child, he may have to do some of the transporting, even if it is not fair.
He needs to stop giving her
He needs to stop giving her cash. File in BM's county if that is what the last judge told you to do and get things formal. She is the one who moved so usually it is up to the parent who moved to provide transportation. If they won't there is sometimes a "discount" on CS to help cover gas and tolls. Just bring proof of mileage and tolls.
As for how she is spending the $ you have to put that out of your head. As long as he has food and a roof over his head she doing her part.
$400 a month is so low. Does
$400 a month is so low. Does SS have everything he needs (clothes, food, ect.)? If the answer to this is yes, her finances aren't your business. It takes much more than $400, or $800 a month to raise a child.
$400 is a pile of money
$400 is a pile of money compared to the $110/mo the SpermIdiot was first ordered to pay. That went on for a year. Then it went to a whopping $133/mo for 9 years. Then to $785/mo for a year then $385/mo for 6 years.
It does cost much more than $400/mo to raise a child but an NCP should only be on the hook for half of what it takes. The CP has to step up for the other half.
According to the USDA it costs $233K+ from birth ot 18yo. CS barely scratches that number for most.
CP Payday!
Somewhere in the anals of my STalk career I have mentioned that for at least some CPs, CS is just prostitution on the installment plan that NCPs are stuck paying on short term services.
Of course most CPs are decent people as are most NCPs. And for sure NCPs should support their minor children.
CP payday/prostitution installment payments are one of those things that you know when you experience it.
CP's who spend CS to upgrade their own life style and not to care for the kids. Then attempt to force the NCP to buy all of the kids clothes, continually go to the NCP for more money, whine and cry about the evil NCP not supporting the kids when the NCP pays CS then goes above and beyond. Yep, you know it when you see it.