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Child support

ladybug1974's picture

Hi so my partner and his ex are going through there devorice . They both decided that 200.00 was enough for the boys a month.( the judge didnt exept it ) . We both have the extended health care both kids, buy them what they need ect

HIs ex makes 3 times what he does and lives with her parnter that owns the clinic she works in she is RMT.

The paper work that has been signed says that he is supposed to pay 940.00 by BC law ( the only way the judge will expept it ) . But they have there own aggrement ( verbal now ) they both agree and even had it done by a laywer. 

Im just a bit worried that even though she says she doesnt want the money ( now ) she might change her mind down the road even in 10 years and he and we would be so screwed. He says dont worry she doesnt want it. Peoples situstions change in life and you just never know. I know one thing I cant live my life opening up my mailbox daily and wondering if he has a huge payment due.  He wanted the kids 50-50 but she wont let him as they are a tax right off for her ( Oh i know what a stupied answer ) not only would my partner spend more time with them but also would be off the hook for payments win win .. She wont . I came here for a bit of advice . I told him about this site but hes not interesed to talk to people he doesnt know, even though sometimes this is the best wayto get the best advice as there are no sides.. 

tog redux's picture

Yeah, that's a tough one. She can go back any time and violate him for not paying the amount ordered and he'd owe huge amounts of arrears.  If he can afford the $940, maybe give her the $200, put $740 in a savings account every month - and then if she goes back to court, it's there, and if she doesn't, you guys have a nice nest egg.  That would take a lot of discipline, but would work out well in the end. 

 

ladybug1974's picture

He cant afford that .. he makes like 1500 every other week , we live inVancouver .. no way could he do it.  you idea is very smart though . 

tog redux's picture

Well, the court seems to think he can afford it, so he might want to at least put away something in case she goes back to court.  Or maybe get a second job in order to save up just in case. Because if she does go back, not only will he owe arrears, they will then start taking $940 from his check. 

ladybug1974's picture

The way it works in BC isnt if you can afford or not.. they have a scale 2 kids and his income goes in there not hers. they dont care about what bills you have rent ect its a point blank scale. unfair yes but its true. he makes 48,000 or so , she makes 160,000 he still pays 940.00 .. its so wrong. as she doesnt need it nor want it. 

BethAnne's picture

Sounds like he needs to get his lawyer to dispute the amount then or cut back on his expenses if he doesn't want to just cross his fingers and hope for the best. 

ESMOD's picture

Theoretically, child support is for the children.. so,  I am guessing that is why the judge went with the guidelines that he did.  I'm not really familiar with BC law.. but I am guessing that your DH will be beholden to her "forever" as she could go back on that agreement.

ladybug1974's picture

Thats exactly what i said ,, well in a different way. i said she has you by the balls. She always threatens him, watch your tone ect,, evil person 

advice.only2's picture

If they had the lawyer draft something up and they both agreed on it and submit it to the courts then by all accounts the courts should abide by it.
My DH had a "verbal" agreement with his ex over CS since she and her husband were making more than DH at the time and they were doing 50/50. Well his ex went crazy and became a drug addict and came after him for all the back CS he owed and she won. The Judge even told my DH if they had written up the agreement, gotten it notarized and submitted to the court she would not have had a leg to stand on. So instead he had to pay her over 10 grand in a lump sum.

tog redux's picture

Sounds like the judge wouldn't accept it, but OP - he should talk to a lawyer about whether or not there is any way to have it written formally so it's binding, because it's not clear if they made this decision after the judge ordered $940 or they made it before that, and the judge just wouldn't agree. 

ladybug1974's picture

they had it written legally for the 200.00 and attached it to the devorice apper work , it was denied as in BC the judge goes by the ampount on the scale. 

tog redux's picture

I don't know what choices you two have, except to either cross your fingers and try not to piss off BM, or save up the money. 

ladybug1974's picture

yes i know  walk on egg shells around her and let her talk to us like crap switch weekends or whaever else she wants.. with a tight lip for the rest of my life. crossing your fingers is very unhealthy .. the stress is a killer. 

Or i can walk away... as then i wont have any stress.  i wont have to worry about that crap for the next how ever many years. 

 

tog redux's picture

Yes, for sure this is not really YOUR problem, at all, and walking away is definitely an option.  

Sandybeaches's picture

I am not sure if there are any circumstances that he can dispute the formula but maybe he could talk to a different lawyer.

Does the mother's income figure into the formula at all?  Here in most US states it is a percentage of both parents, custodial and non and then who makes more money.  It would seem if she made more money that he did she would be responsible to pay more of the support for the kids.  

I had an agreement with my ex-husband and the court told me I could get more but allowed me to not go through family cort if I didn't want to.  

ladybug1974's picture

thats exactly correct , they dont take her income into account.. they should but they dont. she makes soooooooooooooo much more they live ina 6 bedroom house near the water. we live in bc goverment housing. im a secretary he works a wharehouse job. we dont make really crappy money but it is BC and very expensive here. either way the way its set up here isnt right. the kids are far from struggling trust me. plus if they need shoes we get them clothes on it. we do as much as we can really do. 

Harry's picture

If she want to change visitation, what is he going to do ?  He will be owning her $9000 a year .  Nine hundred is like $30% of his salary.  What is most likely what he owes her.  The money is for the kids. Doesn't matter what BM and her SO makes, or live.  Why should new SO be paying for his kids ?   He did not make them 

WwCorgi7's picture

That's a tough one. I definitely would get something legal in writing and not rely on a "verbal" agreement that could eventually bite you in the behind later down the road. Not sure what the laws are where you live but you really don't want to be at the mercy of a BM who knows she has this in her back pocket to use against you. You just never know so it's better to be safe than sorry.

My husband had a "verbal" agreement with BM for 13 years. DH always said "no she won't take me for child support, she would have done it by now not 13 years down the road". Finally, one day when he didn't give up a third weekend in a row to accommodate BM's plans, she got angry and filed for child support. Thankfully, we had every payment well documented (checks, bank account transcripts, receipts for cash he gave her, and copies of anything he paid half for). BM showed up in court and said she had only ever received $150.00 from DH and wanted back pay for the past 13 years. According to DH the look on her face when he plopped down the records of every single payment he ever made was priceless. DH only paid $7.00 less than what was ordered in court so it was voided and he just continued to pay what he had been. No back pay so it was no big deal. Best thing was they started pulling the child support out of his check. So the monthly child support parking lot drop offs were over.