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Changing skids diaper

GratefulFred's picture

Hi, I’m new here and I’m so glad to find a place like this! I have a 4 year old skid, and I’m expected to change their diaper when Dad is gone, which is a couple times a week I’m left with skid and bio kids. This is probably ridiculous, but i can not stand changing their diaper! I gag (and I’m not a gagger), it’s like watery every time, and the kid cries everytime because there’s always some kind of rash down there that only I seem to treat. Ugh. I just needed to vent. Dad know how much I hate to change skid, but I’m expected to and guilted to because he knows I do the same for my bio kids. It’s just frustrating and I literally dread skid coming over. Not just the diapers, but they’re so jealous of bio baby. I’ve seen bio baby hit, and toys are ALWAYS being ripped from bio baby’s hands. Of course when I yell at them about it, I’m usually being “too harsh”. I’ve just about had it. I love their dad, but I don’t think I’m cut out to be a step parent. I know there’s no way I’ll ever love skid anything like I love my bio kids. 

Is there anything I can do about this? I feel like a monster, and I do love their dad very much. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I do have a question... Why is Skid still in diapers at 4? I get maybe the night time pull-up maybe? But Diapers still? He needs some serious potty-training!

Set expectations and boundaries for your DH, it is okay to tell him no sometimes, or tell him you're already busy and cna't watch the skid... I'm sorry Sad

GratefulFred's picture

Skid will be 4 in the fall. Potty training is in progress, and finally getting better, so hopefully this won’t last much longer. Fingers crossed. 

icanteven's picture

I went through this, the kid way too old for diapers but still using them. I refused to change diapers because those parents were too lazy to teach their child to use a toilet like everyone else at that age.You should not change these diapers either. That is too much.

Iamwoman's picture

I’m with hereiam. Old enough to wear pull-ups and change them himself.

I would smack skid’s little hand if he ever hit or ripped a toy from a baby. At age 4, one smack once is usually enough to stop the behavior forever. Not a hard smack, but more of a pop.

Disneyfan's picture

OP do not hit that child.  That will just open the door for the mother to hit you.  You don't want the kid hitting your baby.  I 'm sure the mom doesn want you hitting her kid.

You should punish her for hitting and taking things from the baby.  That punishment shouldn't be physical.

Major Blunder's picture

Heck my GSS is only 19 months and DW is harping on ME to get him potty trained ,being that I'm a guy I should know how to potty train a boy as she has only potty trained girls and I have potty trained ummm none !   lol

Maxwell09's picture

You should not be changing his diaper....no one should be. Potty train him yourself if no one else will make it a priority. I potty trained my SS within 4 days when he was 2. There is a method I found on Pinterest where you basically keep him home and naked for the first two days. Every 20 minutes or so take him to the potty and cheer for him when he gets up even when he doesnt do anything. Take him to the bathroom with you and tell your DH to do it as well. The more bathroom exposure the better. Now when he sits and actually does something give him an extra treat. My skid loves chocolate so I got the mini chocolates and gave him one for his #2s and stickers for his #1s and a high five even when he sat there. Make sure you are giving him liquids and foods that carry water like watermelon and popcicles. It will increase the chances of success. Day three he should have a hang of it so you can venture out but not too far from the house. Run to the store and get him in the habit of pottying when he first wakes up, after breakfast, before he gets dressed for the day, before yall leave, while yall are out, when yall get back, after lunch and/or before nap, etc....you get the idea. You can cut down the pottying once he gets a hang of it with clothes. I'm not promising four days for you as my skid is quite perceptive and is very rewards based, but its a good way to get him going. And I know he might go to BMs and regress becaus she isnt doing the same and while I encourage your DH to share BM with how yall are doing this so yall will all be on the same page and that is easiest for the boy, if he comes back and is back in diapers then just start back first day naked then next day in clothes. He will bounce back into the routine. 

It will also help if you have cartoons running about pottying on the potty. Showing him books about it and talking to him about it. Get him underwear he will love and remind him they have to stay dry. My kid was Elmo so we had to keep Elmo dry just like in the Elmo book. 

 

justmakingthebest's picture

I agree with the others that he is waaaayyy to old to be in diapers. Let him walk around in underwear and actually wet/crap himself - stick him in the shower and do it again. (I had leather couches, if you have cloth you probably don't want to let him sit on the couch). 

Thumper's picture

uhhh nope.

I would only change my bio's diapers. Otherwise i would gag. 

Why do you think Nursery Schools will NOT allowed attendance until the child is potty trained before their 3rd Bday. 

Miss your being used...tell bf you are not doing it any more and HE can find other arrangements..

One last thing...no one can be "guilted into anything"...Guilt is a word that is misused often. To have guilt of any kind one would have to: 1. morally OR 2. legally done something wrong.  you often find the person who has done something morally wrong OR legally wrong, lack remorse and guilt. 

You may feel obligated to change another womens kids diaper because bf is a work and your at home but guilt..saying NO to bf is not illegal OR immoral. Your an unpaid babysitter.

NOT cool 

You sound young....get out nowwwwww Wink take your kids and runnnnnnnnnn fast and far. He cant be "all that' to stay in this. IF he was all that honey, you would have help inside the home. I would believe your stressed out too. Does he have 'summer visitation" while bm is 

enjoying her summer 'off'