You are here

Changing custody

newmommy05's picture

BM has again asked us to have SS(13) move in with us because she can't handle him. Before she changes her mind we want to go get a new custody order drafted up by a lawyer. We live 10 hrs away. We have no problems giving her all of summers, Christmas and other holidays but request transportation be on BM. 
We are also asking for support which we don't assume to be much but even if it's to go to SS as his allowance. We want to ask for some legal and split custody as she has made some really bad decisions with SS in the past that has led to this. 

Is there anything we should ask for or take note of? We have an appointment with the lawyer in the next couple of days.

Survivingstephell's picture

Medical, school, and any other really important decisions that parents need to make.  

 

justmakingthebest's picture

In order to get her to sign over custody I would leave out support until the agreement is signed. Child support is fluid and get's changed with circumstances. File for that after, and don't bother using the lawyer. There are calculators used by the courts and it is very straight forward based on income- save your money, in other words. 

Make sure that the schedule is VERY specific. "SS to travel to BM the day after school is out for Christmas break until December 31st (or 2 days before school is back in session)" - "Summer break will consist of 8 week of uninterupted visitation at BM's location and the schedule will be approved by DH no later than Feb 1 of that year". (You get the idea)  Don't leave anything open to interpretation. 

 

newmommy05's picture

What of she doesn't show us proof of income so we can use the child support calculators? Wouldn't we have to go through a lawyer Then? I feel like she is going to make that part difficult 

newmommy05's picture

No I don' want to adopt him. It' not necessary. We are not trying to get BM to sign over parental rights just trying set it up so we have full custody and her having visitations. 

Survivingstephell's picture

You might want to make it clear to them both that there will be no bouncing back and forth because SS doesn't like the new set up.  Since he sounds like a handful, he will need structure and rules and no running back to mommy.  Hopefully you two are both strong enough to survive this transition.  

newmommy05's picture

Yes definitely

It has happened once already where she wanted us to have him only for him to turn around a few months into it and tell BM we are being too hard on him