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Changes... *sigh

newstepmomof3's picture

My 3 f-skids are having adjustment issues (with adjusting their attitudes) but I'm REALLY happy right now and proud of my fiancé. He has laid down the law with all three this week without ANY input from me. And this is a Dad who had few rules prior.

His two boys (11, 14) who live with him 50% of the time- were told they only get 2 hours of Xbox a day and the communal areas need to be picked up (clean). The first couple days he enforced this there was all out screaming and a major tantrum thrown by the 11 year old who ended up insisting he be driven back to his mothers.

Last night, once again, they pushed back on this new rule- and there ended up being tantrums and swearing but it was much less than the last time and when F-skid11 threatened his Dad never to come back to his house- my fiancé said "That's fine with me, you're mother has the same rules at her house- but if you want to go live with her because you don't like my rules then go right ahead." This child quieted down to miserable sobbing and hiccuping and eventually found something to do with himself before bed.

Additionally, after I clarified with my F-sd13 FOR THE SECOND TIME that I was not responsible for taking her school clothes shopping (her parents were) but that we could go to a movie or an inexpensive "girls night" sometime soon she went on a mini warpath repeating things her mother told her to say (I think) by texting her Dad this, "She (me) is not ready to be a mother. She (me) does not understand that responsibilities come with being a print and she has to provide for kids too. She (me) doesn't understand that kids come first, not adults." etc It went on and on. Apparently she also was face book messaging her Aunt who relayed pretty much the same comments to me. In her Aunts words she was being a "spoiled rotten brat".

My fiancé responded to her that kids don't always come first (It's needs not wants) and that she's (I'm) not responsible for school clothes shopping for 3 children despite what your mother (BM) tells you. Smile

Orange County Ca's picture

Kids don't think stuff like that up - Mama's feeding them full time. I'm glad you've got a keeper.

newstepmomof3's picture

we'll see Orange County- this is all still new and you've advised me before on here and I took your posts seriously- I'm still in no hurry to walk down the aisle. I wanna see how this is gonna go in the long run. I'm proud of him because he's doing it without my nagging but that doesn't mean its gonna be stress free for me. They're going to associate these changes with me at some point and this will go on I am sure lol

newstepmomof3's picture

I'm trying to remain civil with her when she's obnoxious but yes I've been telling her sweetly. Her mom is ridiculous.