Change of custody?
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How does someone go about changing the custody agreement for one child of multiple children? One of my boyfriends kids has expressed that they want to spend more time here(live here). The others are the opposite. They want nothing to do with us. It's a long story. Is there anything that we can do?
Hire a killer lawyer.
Then drag BM to court. I would also suggest that you have a very highly regarded well respected therapist work with the Skid you want and who will support your intention in court.
Hire a killer lawyer.
Then drag BM to court. I would also suggest that you have a very highly regarded well respected therapist work with the Skid you want and who will support your intention in court.
Be prepared to throw money
Be prepared to throw money down the toilet if BM is the type to fight to keep the kid with her. How old is the kid? What do your state laws say about kids being able to choose where they live?
They're 11. I believe the age
They're 11. I believe the age is 15 in our state..I'll have to check on that.
From what I have been able to
From what I have been able to determine, no State allows a minor child the absolute right to choose which parent they will live with. GA and WV will allow a child to choose at age 14, but... only if the Judge rules that the chosen parent is fit. Some States will allow for a Judge to hear what the child has to say, but the authority for placement of a kid with a CP is solely the choice of the Judge if the courts are used to deal with this topic.
I would suggest that you work with an attorney who is highly experienced in the Judge pool in your jurisdiciton and how each Judge tends to deal with this topic. You can't choose which Judge you will get, but knowing the tendencies of each Judge and having a great lawyer gives you your best chance for success.
For some reason there appears to be some urban legend that at 12, 13,15, etc... kids get to choose where they will live.
The rate of success for change of custody efforts is very low. So I would lower your expectations so you won't be disappointed. And make sure you have deep pockets because it can be an extremely expensive effort with very little chance of success.
Our blended family opposition tried for custody when SS-28 was 15-24mos old. It was expensive for them to attempt and it was expensive for us to defend.
Due to the long odds of success and the high cost... I would not recommend it unless the kids are in mortal danger.
There is also the factor of "be careful what you wish for" with change of custody efforts. You may end up with kids who you really do not want in your home and detracting from your marriage and family any more than is absolutely necessary.
Good luck.
Thank you! I really do think
Thank you! I really do think they would do better in our house. Up until about a year ago they were the youngest of three now she's the middle of six. I believe way too much responsibility has been thrown on the two girls since the other children have been born. We would never expect them to babysit. If we ever asked then we would discuss payment before doing so.
I know that SD11 feels emotionally neglected. If she needs/asks for anything in our house I find a way to make it so. I know in her mothers house that everyone is expected to go without. They may be comfort items or a new pair of pants but it makes me sad to know that she feels selfish for asking for these things.
We were told that the kid's
We were told that the kid's choice is only one of 14 factors or "points" for either parent.
You will need and excellent lawyer and be able to prove that your household is the better one for your stepkid. Courts don't like splitting up kids- so that will be your #1 issue.
Just because a child has a
Just because a child has a preference, does not mean a judge would honor it. Usually only under new circumstances would it change... work schedule, moving, job loss, major life event, etc. Also, I don't see a judge ordering something different for 1 of 3 siblings. Talk to an attorney before shelling out mone and filing paperwork.
Also, is this something you would even want? I drew a HARD line in the sand with DH that when things got switched to 50/50, he would never attempt to take BM back to court. Thousands of dollars the first go around was MORE than enough. Also, I did NOT want SD full time. Think about what you want and don't be afraid to voice it.
I’m all for it.
Honestly it would be better for all of them to be here full time. I'd like a little alone time very once in awhile. I'm typically never wearing a bra in my house and I tend to be name often so that would change. They have a half sibling here that they love. I feel that we're more emotionally stable. Both my partner and I have a rocky relationship with the oldest. I feel it would be better for them here but I don't think they would ever leave mom.