Can't talk to SO about anything without him blowning up
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Things I cant talk to him about.......
-issues his kids are having
-bringing up another perspective when his kids are having problems with someone at school
-his mother's lack of boundaries and enmeshment
-his ex wife's lack of boundaries and lack of parenting
-his social media account he started without telling me.
-his neglecting to invite me to family or friend events
He will just blow up at me, shut me down and basically making me feel bad for bringing them up. But these things needs to be discussed.
Oh girl do I relate to this..
Oh girl do I relate to this....
his neglecting to invite me
Huge red flag. He's just not that into you. You are his booty call (even if you are living together).
What are you getting out of this relationship? Is this what you want for your life?
Perhaps you should talk with
Perhaps you should talk with your feet. It doesn't sound like you'd be missing much if you did.
What kind of a social media account?
What kind of a social media account did he set up? Is he posting inappropriate things on it?
He created an Instagram page
He created an Instagram page without mentioning it to me and didn’t tell me about it. There are selfies of himself on there but zero pics of me as if I do not exist. When I found out he had one he got angry and accused me of wanting to start a fight with him and starting yelling. He also never lets me see it.
That sounds like a potential
That sounds like a potential setup to cheat...
That is what I was thinking.
That is what I was thinking. Why would he not want you to see the site unless he is trying to hide something?
He's definitely projecting
He's definitely projecting his lying @ss ways on you. He's hiding something and the fact that he uses this tactic to turn sh!t around on you every single time, you want to address something brings up red flags ALL over!
Stand up for yourself Georgina and start making moves because he's manipulating the h@ll out of you!
Thank you. I’ve noticed there
Thank you. I’ve noticed there’s something off about his commutation skills. He is emotionally immature and gets angry and talks over me if i do not agree with him one hundred percent or something is brought up with his kids. We simply cannot talk about things that are off limits to him such as his kids issues and his social media account. What type of adult relationship is that? It’s like a child.
I have a friend
who's DH was left by his first wife for a woman. He really got taken advantage of- he had all but adopted his ex's son who she had when she was 15, he and ex went on to have a DD. He paid for everything. The ex had took up with the woman when he was deployed, and was living in his house when he got home "as a roomate". Anyway, all of this was 20-25 years ago, my friend and him have been married for 18, and whenever my friend would bring up how ex/her lover were taking advantage of him he would blow up at HER. He just recently admitted that the whole thing was so embarassing and humiliating he just didn't want to address it, and apologized to my friend for geting irritated with her all those times. A day late and a dollar short, but otherwise they have a pretty stable/happy marriage. So anyway, what I'm trying to illustrate is, your DH is probably embarrased and emasculated over all these issues, and take it out on you because he knows you'll put up with it. Time to set up some boundries over how you'll be adressed.
They are not married.
They are not married.
I have this exact same problem.
I've tried what so many others have tried. All the use "I" instead of "you" stuff. The selecting the right moment bit. The calm tone instead of anger part. The "let's work it out together" instead of "what you've just done is appalling and hurtful" line. On topics from the kids to him not calling/turning up when he said he would, and a shed whole host of other things.
Instantly he gets angry that I dare to bring stuff like this up. Usually his first response is "why are you doing this?". Then it's denial of whatever the problem is. Then it's that I am imagining it or "you really have a problem". It's also been "your feelings are your responsibility, not mine." Now we're at "I don't want to hear this."
I honestly don't want to do. I feel scared to bring anything up, ever now, which is probably exactly what his intention was to start with.
If SO tolerates no
If SO tolerates no communication then there is no relationship. So, why stay with this asshole?
Move on. Take care of you.
Good luck.