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Call blocking Apps / Understanding / Advice

Sandybeaches's picture

 

So back with an update and question.  

I am wondering what technology is best to block calls, text messages and voice messages.

A little history.... There used to be a service through our cell phone company that blocked all calls/texts and voicemails.  The service has been discontinued and now we only have what comes with our cell phone. 

We have come to find out that you can hit block from the phone and it blocks text messages and deletes them however, while it stops the call from ringing it lets the caller go to voicemail.   We also have learned that even though these numbers are blocked, and we do not receive the message that it still shows on the phone bill so we know how many there are. Which is a scary amount for someone who never receives a response.

It is a 15 year story so I guess I will highlight it a little ... 

My husband has a crazy ex who has harassed him for years.  

She never contacted him about the kids where she didn't have to start out the conversation by calling me a B**** or some other name. We have been up and down the roller coaster a bunch of times through the 15 years we have been together. The kids were 11 and 13 when we met so we tolerated it out of respect for the kids. So when the kids both were 21 we blocked her from my husbands phone.

That did not stop her. She called from her work, she called from other peoples phones, she would go into Verizon stores and uses their display phones to text, just constant harassment!! We should have called the police but the kids were young and out of respect for them we didn't.

No one ever calls her back …. well normally ... 

So last month she called from someone else's phone making it seem like an emergency and husband believed it and called her back.  Well it wasn't an emergency and he is sorry that he did.  

At this same time they discontinued the service that blocked her.  She started texting him and calling him all the time again.  He never answered the phone or the text.  So he got a new phone so that he can block her.  Now only to find out that it doesn't block everything and she doesn't seem to know she is blocked.  But seriously what sane person texts someone constantly that never responds?  It also shows that in the 7 or 8 years that she was blocked she must have tried all the time to see if she was still blocked.  

It always starts out the same as things do with any CRAZY person.  First she is friendly just about the kids (whom are adults I want to point out) next she starts sending him pictures and trying to reminisce with him...  Then when she gets told to stop texting and calling that is when she snaps and starts the even crazier behavior.  Each time that happens she goes a step farther and last time was trying to get to me.  

So my questions ... 

So anyway first is there an app or technology that we are missing that would block all of it?

Second my thinking might be if we can get the calls blocked or even if we can't, ignoring it is a lot easier when most of it does not come to his phone.  Meaning, if she doesn't know she is blocked and just keeps sending messages to limbo maybe that is less escalating??  and prevents her from snapping and getting worse again??

However am I wrong in thinking that anyone in their 50's who acts this way is a threat?   meaning this is sooooo not normal behavior.   We have a whole folder from over the years of texts messages etc. and there is no reason for her contact him so if her text messages are non-threatening and just annoying right now  can we still do something about it?  She has been threatening and as recently as last summer.... Advice???

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Have you considered reporting it as harrassment to the police and getting a restraining order out?

You can block her all day, but if she's crazy enough to use other phones, then it's time to take legal action.

Winterglow's picture

I agree. I think I'd probably have done this a long time ago if I were you.

Even if you do find a magic app that blocks her completely, she will simply see it as a challenge and find a way round it. It's ime to take real action if you want this to stop.

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Exactly. It can't block numbers it doesn't know she may call from. She's already started calling from other numbers, there's NO WAY you can know and block every number she may decide to call from.

Sandybeaches's picture

Thank you I think you and probablyalready are right!!!  

I think sometimes when you are in a situation you don't always realize how crazy it really is until you share it and get others ideas and opinions.  We wanted to keep peace and keep our lives out of the spot light. 

 We are private people but I think it has gone to far and we could end up in the spotlight on 20/20 for being victims of murder....

Sandybeaches's picture

Thank you we have considered going to the police. I had my folder with me and ready.  Unfortunately we had a family emergency that took precedent and we didn't go.  I was wondering if even though the current contact is not threatening yet,  just unwanted if we could still take my folder and go to the police.  I have the harassment documented at least for the last 8 years.  Before that we didn't keep track .. 

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

The last 8 years will be MORE than enough!!! You should go! Even non-threatening counts as harassment!!!

MurphysLaw's picture

I would 

1. Change my number and no the skids wouldn’t have it either.

2. Take all documentation of harassment to the police & an attorney.

3. Install security system/ cameras 

4. Obtain CCW & start carrying 

Sandybeaches's picture

Thank you we are thinking of doing just that!!  

It really is crazy for someone to act that way especially when no one responds. 

I was thinking in some ways it might be a good thing for her to see that no one is answering her but now it just seems crazier to me that someone would keep on when no one does respond. 

I would text someone in any situation once and then say did you get my text?  then assume they didn't; want to hear from me if they didn't answer  ... now that is was normal people would do ... 

thank you for the advice!!

Sandybeaches's picture

Thank you ... We have Android phones and it does go to voicemail.  We were hoping to get the calls blocked entirely without going to voicemail...

the old service blocked her and she couldn't send text and it wouldn't allow a call to go through.. It was great for almost 8 years .... 

Aniki's picture

She no longer has any reason to contact him. The kids can list him as an emergency contact.

  1. Change his phone number and tell the kids she is NOT to have it or you will...
  2. File a Restraining Order for harassment (you need to document and keep records and recordings of all the calls.

In fact, I would tell this loon that you are filing a restraining order because she is harassing you. She's stupid enough to leave messages, so it won't matter WHAT phone she uses to call.

Lndsy747's picture

The only way to block her would be through your carrier. Any app would still show records on the phone bill since they're going through the network. I know you said that the service you were using was discontinued but are you sure there are no other options with them? I thought all progress would have done kind of option to block calls and texts.

I agree on a restraining order being the best long term route.

Sandybeaches's picture

Good idea and see if they can block her number but it is true and I hadn't really thought about it we are back where we started 8 years ago..... once she finds out  her number is blocked she will go to another number and continue it ..

I am fooling myself into believing an app is going to stop this.  The only thing that is going to stop it is if the police tell her too and even then I am not sure she will....  She acts like the victim when it is us ... and then somehow we are the bad guys because we don't want to be harassed and callled the police on her ..... .. It is a very upsetting situation.  

I checked our cell phone bill just a little while ago and she has text my husbands phone every day since last Thursday.  Who seriously would do that when you get no response.  At least when we print the records for our file they are always arrows coming in and never going out .... so it will show he never answers her ... really this is showing me more clearly how crazy she really is !!!  

Thank you all of listening and your advice 

tog redux's picture

Compile evidence (let her text for a while), and then file harassment charges. enough is enough.

Sandybeaches's picture

That is a good idea...  Do you think it will matter that we don't have the recent text messages only the call log showing that she still texts even though she is blocked?

I do have several text messages from before and the threatening messages about me from before ..

tog redux's picture

They don't have to be threatening messages, sheer volume would be proof of harassment.

Ispofacto's picture

We use Mr Number, but you have to put each number in.  I believe it also blocks anon calls tho too.

 

Sandybeaches's picture

I will look into these apps ... 

Rags's picture

Your phone will let you block calls or messages from any number.   If it is not a number you recognize, let it got to VM.  If it is her, block it. Yes, you have to block each new number but you can block them.

If the call or text is not from someone on your contact list.... ignore it and block it at your convenience.

If she continues to harras you, save all her messages, VMs and call history and go visit the police. File a no contact order and let the police deal with her if she continues her crap.

Sandybeaches's picture

I am thinking that is where this is going .... thank you for the advice!! 

1wonder woman's picture

We did not wait until the kid was 18 to block my SO's ex-wife... My SO and his ex-wife have two older adult kids and a 11 year old left to raise together. We have been together for three years and after dating this man for one year my life was hell.... we had to block his ex wife from contacting either one of us on our cell phones... she is crazy alright and it sounds like your husband's ex is crazy just like her. They were newly divorced when I first met my SO and now we live together and ever since his ex-wife found out about me she has made it her life purpose to make our lives a living hell... In the beginning his ex-wife was harassing my SO non stop on his cell phone cutting him down calling him every name in the book... not to mention she even gave out both of our cell hone numbers to her bill collectors yep the collectors told me how they obtained my cell number she gave it to them and they were collecting for her old credit card debt not mine or his... That did it I blocked her from both of our cell phones for a year and now she is unblocked..She uses the cell phone as a weapon to hurt my SO on purpose to cause nothing but drama.... but I wish now we would of never unblocked her but his little girl fell ill one night and was in the er and his ex flipped out telling everyone she had no way of contacting the father of her kids because I blocked her... what she failed to tell everyone was this yes she was blocked from our cell phones but not our home phone. She was pissed when she found out she was blocked... we gave her our home phone number and she refused to call him on it. Nope she used her kids cell phones to text him... but she never would show her kids her mean ugly side so that sorta worked good for a while. Plus she would send us mean long letters in the mail using fake return addresses. So when his kid ended up sick in the hospital I decided to unblock her... big mistake... ever since I unblocked her she still harasses my SO every weekly... cutting us down calling me the B word calling him words too... and the drama is non stop! But it was nicer when she was blocked!! Your husbands ex-wife sounds like she might be narcissist just like my SO ex-wife... control freaks and manipulators.  They are like vampires they suck the happiness right out your lives... and a narcissist person does have a hard time disengaging from their ex's... they hate being cut off from them it drives them even more crazy.  Every week my SO ex-wife has to connect with him texting him if he does not reply back to her she flips out going off on him... she needs her weekly fix... he is like a drug to her she needs her fix if not she has withdrawals... it's like she is addicted to her ex husband! These type of people have a very hard time of letting go of their ex's and of their children too... gosh I hope to God my SO ex wife stops this crap once the last kid turns 18... I really feel for you guys! 

We have our service with Verizon and we had no problem blocking his ex wife... we too had android phones and this I do know the block only last for one year through Verizon you have to block her every new year.  He received no voicemail messages at all from her when they block her number she will be blocked. If I were you I'd get a landline home phone give the number to the kids and not to her. THESE TWO PEOPLE ARE FINISHED SHE DIVORCED... THEIR KIDS ARE GROWN... SHE HAS NO BUSINESS EVEN HAVING ANY OF YOUR PHONE NUMBERS IF YOU ASK ME!  SHE SOUNDS LIKE A NUT CASE! Plus If I were you I'd be putting a restraining order against the crazy ex! 

stepmom52's picture

As others have said, you need to get to the police station and file a restraining order TODAY!! I don't know how you guys have put up with her cray cray all these years. I wouldn't delay this one more day. Good luck to you!