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Buying your non-bio a car?!

Redsonya's picture

DH got almost nothing in the divorce - an old jeep, a old fishing boat and his tools. The boat and jeep don't even work. BM got the house and all the furniture, a newer car, then asked the judge to give her the boat three years after the agreement was signed and threw a fit about giving DH his tools. DH decided to get the jeep running and sell it. BM found out about this from a mutual acquintence and decided that DH should really give the jeep to her so that her nephew (not even related to DH) would need a car in a year. Really? He has a family with me now and I pay for almost everything, but she still thinks she has a right to make financial decisions/requests with him for kids that he has no legal or biological right too? Add to that, that the kid is so not all there. Like a 3 year old in a 15 year old body. The LAST person you would want driving. And in an open CJ6 jeep meant for occasional offroading. I can just see where this is going - next summer she'll be guilt tripping DH into buying this kid a car because then she won't have to get off her ass at all to drive them anywhere. The jeep is sold, but I am putting my foot down 100% on this. We've gotten stuck with her taxes from when they were married, all of the joint credit card debt, she is hell on wheels, but STILL has the nerve to ask for favors. If it was his actual bio son, I'd say we should come up with half for a car, but there is no f'ing way we are helping with a car for BM's relative. Am I the wierd one here?

stepintexas's picture

I would have drawn the finacial line in the sand long ago with respect to BM's wants of DH providing anything for her.

And hell no to the jeep!
My own bios had to WORK to save for their vehichles!

SMof2Girls's picture


I dread the day when my skids are old enough to drive .. I know BM will expect DH to go in halfsies with her to buy the kids cars.

Orange County Ca's picture

Like most everyone she'll ask until she's told no.

I'm reminded of my ex who a month or two after her boyfriend moved in sleeping on my bed that wasn't even cold - literally within a few days. Anyway she wanted me to repair a fence in the yard. What? Excuse me I'm going to fix this fence while her boyfriend watches from the window?

Disneyfan's picture

You're not crazy for putting your foot down. What is crazy is that you have to be the one to say no. Your husband should have shut his ex down a long time ago.

Redsonya's picture

He didn't give her the jeep obviously - he fixed it and sold it. I am just constantly blown away that she makes requests like this. Its ME married to him - WE now own those things together. She doesn't see it that way though. Its like she thinks they are somehow still married or anything they had together before the divorce is still up for negotiation. No - you two divided things up and went your own ways. Now he is married to me and they are OUR things. I am totally dreading next summer when her nephew turns 16. Because DH was nice enough to let the kid live with them because BM's crazy, drug addicted sister and family was not able to, now she acts like he owes the kid for life. DH did not adopt him, has no legal guardianship (BM does), but she kept the kid a ward of the state to get $350 a month. Guess what? That means he is YOUR problem now BM - guess you better find a yucky mechanic to start sleeping with, since saving up to get him a car is out of the question for you.

leo_21's picture

One can buy car's extended warranty if you have got a used car and your car warranty is over, this will help recover car repairs expenses as well as the extended warranty provider may arrange a mechanic anywhere if you are in trouble.

WTHDISUF's picture

How ridiculous. I'm recently putting my foot down about financial decisions regarding my DH's non-bio "son". In that case, the BM is always asking or telling him what He is going to pay for as if his money is just HIS money now. It's ours. We both put into the discretionary account and I actually put more in than my Husband.

We work hard and we try to put back savings and pay our bills with breathing room left, yet every time we turn around, she's wanting more money for something for her kid. All Summer DH hasn't been able to put his half in savings because he's doing something for her kid and having to use household money to do it. I'm telling him if he wants to be her little spawn's contributor, he needs to get a part time job and give her whatever he wishes out of that. He's 8 now and I can imagine as he gets older, things will get pricier like cars so I'm trying to get this through HIS and her head that it's now OUR money and she cannot expect to ask for and get what she wants.

IMHO, we should be voluntarily buying whatever we want for him (and we do buy him stuff by choice, both needs and wants) and if we don't have the spare money or it's too much, then we don't have to get anything. It's not his kid so he owes her nor the kid nothing. If she wants him to have more, she can chase down it's real Dad and ask him for Support...wouldn't surprise me if she was not getting it anyway... sorry biatch