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Brats. All of them.

MamaBass's picture

So I'm on vacation with my hubby's fam and caught my little 10 year old stepspaz talking shit about me to his cousins. So of course I listened in for a bit... He proceeds to brainwash his 2 younger girl cousins about how mean I am because I called his mom a bad name once. (Which of course I didn't- I've had 2 actual conversations with her in 6 years and they were alone) and they talk about parents and then he says I always tell him not to bring up the past, but then I always talk about things from the past. That's because he only talks about his fucking mother!!!! He's almost 12, how has he NOT had one teeny clue that I don't give 2 shits about anything that has to do with his mother.
Then he tells a very non-detailed "ummm...I think...." story about my quiet non-confrontational father apparently kicking his games and movies and broke a bunch of stuff at his moms apartment years ago. Which of course isn't true.
Why does it NEVER cease to amaze me how skewed these kids remember the past and how they don't like their dad because their pissed off BM PASd them?!?!? I am once again disengaging completely from the brats. And of course the girls I thought I got along with were rooting him on and agreeing the whole time.
Fuck this steplife.....

MamaBass's picture

Sorry, "my non-confrontational husband", not father!

MamaBass's picture

But how do I combat 6 years of manipulation when he thinks that's the truth!!!! 4 or 5 years ago I would've done that... At this point, I've given up on these kids...

ItsGrowingOld's picture

Some children that are not parented are feral (lie, manipulate, cheat, steal, etc., etc.). Some children that are not held accountable and taught right from wrong can cause damage to a family unit and to society. These little wards are a huge responsibility for THE PARENTS! Parenting your children should never be an option. Never!

If your husbands kid(s) are being PASed, as you sorta hinted at above, they are parroting their mother. Please understand I am speaking from experience. And it sucks!

I would full on disengage (let go) if I were you. However, that doesn't mean you let the kid(s) tell lies in front of you. Call them out, in an age appropriate way, every single time they lie. And make sure your DH is there when you do it. He needs to back you! And if he doesn't you have a whole other set of problems. And so do his kid(s).

My DH's kids lied about me a lot. Their friends thought I was evil too:-( I'm not evil and never have been but I certainly called them out on it when it happened. DH's ex and her alcoholic husband are mentally ill and taught DH's girls to despise us for no apparent reason other than they were set on trying to destroy our home and financial security. And the children were their tools. BM and her alcoholic husband tried to sue me twice early on claiming DH was hiding money through me. It's not true and never was true. I bought the house we currently live in and that's when BM went ballistic. She started the PAS before this but it was a full court press after I bought the house. She and her alcoholic husband convinced the girls (8 and 10 at the time) that "Daddy" doesn't want them anymore and that he has "moved on". The fact is she started withholding the girls from DH after I bought our home.

Let it all go. Do not care. Be indifferent to all the b/s and find your happiness. Because what I learned the hard way is step life can suck all the joy out of life and isolate you to the point of pure loneliness. It takes tremendous effort to come back from that.