You are here

Boyfriend still Facebook Friends with Ex

Palmetto7391's picture

My boyfriend is still Facebook friends with his ex wife. When I ask him why, he says it's so he can see photos of the kids. She posts a photo of the kids once every other month or so. Am I wrong in asking him to unfriend her?

StepKat's picture

DH was Facebook friends with BM. He was able to see pics of the kids she would post. However, drama kept breaking out between BM and DH's family. It became too much stress for DH so he deleted his Facebook account complete.

Palmetto7391's picture

No drama and everyone is cordial. I guess I just don't think it's necessary for her to know what we are up to. The less she knows the better in my opinion.

snowdrop's picture

is your DH a big facebook used? my DH hardly ever uses it so there wouldn't be a whole lot for her to see, except the picture of DH or skids that I post onto his wall. you can block her so she can't see stuff you post and tag your DH in. Or, he can limit what she is able to see. I think it's odd and wouldn't want BM knowing anything about my life with DH, even if it's just a picture of us doing something unimportant.... although, it's probably a good lesson about limiting what you put out into cyber space (at least with your real name attached to it, hah!) is he

savemysanity's picture

As long as there's no drama, I think it's fine. If you are in a fairly new relationship, I can understand your worries. Just talk with him about your concerns. Actually my ex-husband is my FB friend, and my SO and he were friends on FB, too, until SO's kids started a bunch of craziness (not related to my ex husband), and SO deleted his FB account.

emotionaly beat up's picture

If there is no drama and everyone is cordial, don't start any. Life is far better if everyone can get along. She can only see what you are dong if your husband puts it out there. So if something is private to you. Tell your husband not to put it on Facebook.

zerostepdrama's picture

My DH was friends with BM on FB. However he never really got on FB at the time. (Still doesn't that much). So I didnt really see a problem with it. He didnt have anything to hide. I think MSD set it up for him and she friended BM for him.

However once we got together and she started posting stuff about him on her FB or talking crap, I blocked her from his and mine (we weren't ever friends though).

Cocoa's picture

In my opinion Facebook poses too much potential for privacy invasion and drama. The ex does not need info on what is going on in your lives and your dh doesn't need info and pics of his kids from her on Facebook. Can he not take his own pics? Needs to break this dependency on BM. And if they can be friends maybe they should have just stayed together. In my opinion boundaries need to be very strict when a new eelationship forms. You are uncomfortable with it so she needs to be deleted . Your feelings are the ones that matter now. He can form his own life and relationship with his kids with minimal bm input. Facebook is yet another form of contact not needed between exes when minimizing contact as much as possible should be the goal

christinen's picture

I-m so happy I agree with Cocoa on this. I see absolutely no need for BM and DH/BF to be fb friends. The only thing I see coming from that is drama and arguements. Your bf can take his own pics of his kids, he doesn't need to see hers & BM sure as hell does not need to see what is going on in your personal lives. I can't think of one single reason they should be fb friends. Not one.

frustrated step mom37's picture

If there is no drama then why does it matter? They have children together so to say that it is non of her biz what is going on in your life is ridiculous. My X husband and I talk all the time it doesn't mean anything except that we have a wonderful son together and we still get a long as friends. Both of us has moved on to other relationships. It just seems selfish to ask him to unfriend her. Unless she is being disrespectful toward you or starting drama that is then it would be understandable.

HungryEyes's picture

My ex and I have no drama and no emotional entanglement. WE have no issues with being friends on FB. Even BM and fDH were friends until we got serious and she couldn't stand to see it - so she defriended him quietly with no big scene. It's really not a big deal at all if you're adults and can handle it.